Down the Rabbit Hole
by PetalFleur
Summary: She was fifteen when her reality changed along with everything she had ever known about herself, let alone her own emotions. He let go of everything he had ever believed about himself, or his own life. Neither of them had any control, and neither of them planned on gaining control any time soon. (Rated for age gap and possible future scenarios.)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Please review and follow/favorite if you like this chapter, then I'll know if I should continue. I'm excited for you guys to read it, I tried to get the right tone going, so hopefully it had the desired effect.**

_"Don't be afraid of me,_

_Don't be ashamed._

_Walk in the way of my soft resurrection._

_I know the roses, _

_I've counted so,_

_I know your name._

_Lead me to war with your brilliant direction."_**  
**

Clove was fifteen when she became his. Cato was spending the night with her brother, not having paid the younger girl the slightest bit of attention the few times he had spotted her around the house. That evening, though, something drastically changed. During Cato's dinner with her brother, Clove had scampered down the stairs, her shiny hair bouncing in cascades down her back, and grabbed a book off of the table next to the blonde, giving him a quick smile before curling up on the couch to read. She chewed her lip subconsciously as she read, and he watched her.

He studied her, noticing as she furrowed her brow in confusion, and smiled after a few pages, widening her eyes. She really did have lovely eyes, and he found himself thinking about them. He could look into her eyes all day long, if he had the chance. It was utterly mesmerizing to him, watching her read. He left the table with his friend to venture upstairs, but thoughts of Clove edged their way into his head, making him feel confused and enamored at the same time.

He couldn't fall asleep that night; he was too baffled. What was so fascinating about a girl reading a book? This almost-five-years-younger girl, he had to remind himself, but the reminder couldn't keep her out of his thoughts. Why was he so newly curious about every thought that rested inside her pretty little head? He walked downstairs at exactly 3:52 a.m. with the intention of sitting on the couch, away from his friend's loud snoring, to gather his thoughts about the young girl who had slowly engulfed his brain in a frenzy of confusing thoughts. As he sat on the couch, pondering, he saw the tiny Clover creeping down the stairs. She noticed him too, and gave him the same small smile she had earlier that day. She walked past him to the kitchen sink, filling up a tall glass with water. He tried desperately to keep from watching her, but he couldn't help himself. He peeked at her, his face growing hot as he took in her attire. Her minuscule pajama shorts clearly displayed her pale legs, and her navy blue tank top stopped a good two inches or so above the waistband of said shorts, showing a strip of her bare back. He felt disgusting, admiring the body of his friend's baby sister. He didn't feel like himself. Against his own thoughts and intentions, he got up and walked to the kitchen. Clove turned slightly at the sound of his footsteps, an expression he couldn't read showing on her face.

Clove had seen Cato watching her read, but it surprised her when he followed her into the kitchen. She knew nothing about him, other than his name which she had picked up from overheard conversations between the tall, muscular blonde and her brother. She tried to conceal her nerves as he walked towards her, resulting in an odd smile. She didn't know what she would say if he spoke to her. Her brain went fuzzy and she gasped quietly as she felt him wrap an arm around her waist, quite gently as if he feared breaking her.

"Hello, little one," he murmured, very close to her ear. She shivered involuntarily, her mind buzzing with some sort of electricity she couldn't describe.

"Hello," she managed to whisper, her heart beating rapidly in her chest.

"Your heart's beating quickly," he said quietly. "Are you scared of something?"

"You startled me a little, is all," she said, feeling hazy.

He nodded. "Sorry," he said softly, his thumb brushing over the bare skin left uncovered by her tank top. He felt goosebumps form on her skin and he chuckled quietly. The thought process that led him to do what he did next couldn't be explained, but he took her hand in his own and led her to the couch.

She followed him, feeling as if she were in an odd dream, and didn't say anything as he guided her onto his lap, her legs slung sideways on the couch. He gazed at her, his eyes traveling over her form in its entirety. He held her by the waist with one hand, the other resting on her thigh. They sat in silence for a while, Cato beginning to gently stroke the soft skin exposed by her skimpy top.

"You're fascinating," he said quietly, trying to find the best way to explain to her what he was feeling.

"How so?" she asked, trying unsuccessfully to get her mind back to its usual clear state.

"I'm not sure," he said, shrugging slightly. "I couldn't explain if I tried, so I won't."

She nodded slightly. Perhaps this was some crazy dream, or some sort of hallucination. Her heartbeat quickened once again. She had no idea what was happening, why she was sitting on the lap of this older boy, why he was gently stroking her skin, his fingers drumming on her bare leg. All she knew was that he was capable of making her heart flutter with just his voice, and causing her skin to feel on fire at the slightest touch.

When he pressed his lips to hers, cupping her face in one hand, she fell deep into the rabbit hole. She lost all sense of anything, really, and felt herself spiral very far down inside of some sub-reality much different than she had ever known.

He had kissed her on impulse, feeling an almost painful tug deep inside of his subconscious. He kissed her softly and felt his whole body grow warm at the feeling of her lips. He felt like he had lost himself somewhere beautiful and dangerous. He drew his lips away from hers and stared at her for a long while.

"I should go to bed," she said, not breaking eye contact.

He nodded, picking her up and carrying her swiftly upstairs to her room. He laid her in her bed, feeling an uncomfortable emptiness when she left his arms.

"Sleep well, my Clover," he murmured before slipping out of her room and back to her brother's, his mind spinning.

After that moment, she knew. For a reason that was too bizarre to even begin to wrap her head around, she was absolutely his.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks for the few people that added this story to their alerts, it made me smile :) Please continue reading and reviewing, it means a lot and it encourages me to update! Enjoy this chapter, lovelies.**

_"How long, can I go on like this,_

_Wishing to kiss you,_

_Before I rightly explode?_

_This double life I lead isn't healthy for me_

_In fact it makes me nervous_

_If I get caught I could be risking it all."_

The next morning was peculiar. Cato thought he had risen early, 9:41 seeming to be a fairly ambitious time for a Saturday, but when he made his way downstairs and spotted his tiny Clover cooking breakfast, he smiled at the realization that he wasn't the only early riser in the house that morning. He watched her for a while before approaching her, waiting until her hands were safely away from the hot pan she was handling to run a finger down her arm.

"Hello again, sweetheart," he said softly, pushing her hair to one side in order to get closer to her ear.

"Good morning," she said, her skin already feeling charged with electricity by his delightful touch.

"You don't sleep much, do you, little one?" he asked, chuckling and stroking her arm again.

"I don't find sleep very interesting," she said simply, though her heart was thumping so loudly in her chest that she feared he could hear.

He nodded and moved his hand from her arm to her hip, brushing the exposed skin with his large, yet gentle fingers.

The hazy feeling from the night prior returned to Clove as Cato stroked her bare skin, and it was blissful yet terrifying. She was terrified because she had no idea why he had this effect on her, or why he was so fixated on her in the first place.

"I should probably finish breakfast," she whispered. "Can you tell my brother to come down?"

He nodded, his hand lingering on her side before stepping away and starting up the stairs.

Clove finished cooking and carefully set the table, placing three sets of forks and knives and a bottle of maple syrup down before arranging the plates of steaming pancakes, piled with fresh strawberries on the side. She waited in the kitchen for the boys (technically, men) to join her for the meal. They bounded down the stairs, her brother grinning as he smelled the delicious food.

"Looks good, Clo," her brother said, ruffling her hair before sitting down at the circular dining table. Cato grinned as well, talking the next seat. Because the table was a circle, of course Cato's little Clover sat herself next to him. His hand slipped undetectably under the table as she sat down, coming to rest on her thigh. He unscrewed the cap of the syrup with one hand and poured a large amount onto his pancakes before setting the bottle back down, never meeting Clove's eyes with his own. As the blonde chatted with the girl's brother, his hand traced light patterns across the soft skin of her upper leg.

She could barely breathe as she ate, and she felt as though everything she was feeling could be seen on her face. Her mind was whirling again, and it took all of her concentration to go through the simple motions of eating breakfast.

Cato kept his eyes away from his darling girl, for he knew that if he even glimpsed her blushing face, he would feel that painful tug that urged him to kiss her the night before. The thought of kissing her again was enough to scatter his brain, and his scattered brain significantly increased his very rarely seen clumsiness. His fingers lost their hold on his fork and it clattered to his plate, splattering a bit of syrup on the table. He shook his head and chuckled before picking up the fork and continuing to eat the wonderful food his angel had prepared. The brother of said angel quickly stood up from the table soon after, excusing himself to the restroom.

"Too many tacos last night," he said with a boyish grin, earning a laugh from his sister who quickly covered her mouth with a small hand. Cato chuckled, but at his little girl's reaction as opposed to her brother's words. Once her brother was locked in the bathroom, Cato finally turned to his Clover.

"Open," he said, picking up a strawberry from his plate.

She complied, of course, and opened her mouth, peering up at him. He placed the red fruit between her waiting lips, a slight grin forming on his face as he felt her take the berry between her teeth. He took his hand away from her mouth and stroked her cheek lightly, finally able to behold the lovely blush that had grown there since the beginning of their meal. She continued looking at him, chewing and swallowing the delicious strawberry with her eyes scanning his handsome face.

He looked down at her mouth, now with one or two crimson blotches at the seam of her pink lips. "You've got something there, darling," he murmured, brushing his thumb lightly over her lips.

She nodded as he spoke, and shut her eyes as he slipped a strong arm around her waist and kissed her gently, his tongue darting out to lick the sweet strawberry juice from her lips before pulling away. Her eyes remained closed for a few moments after their lips touched, her brain completely and utterly jumbled. She felt like Alice once again, tumbling down that silly rabbit hole, losing all sense of time and location.

Cato's lips felt on fire as they separated from hers, the stolen taste of strawberry lingering in his mouth. He left his arm tightly around her, never wanting to lose the feeling of his girl's warmth against his skin.

They sat in silence, each reveling in their own confusing wonderland. Clove breathed quickly, her senses overwhelmed by the blonde that had seemingly stolen every piece of her in just one evening. Stolen, not because she wasn't willing to give herself completely, but rather because even if she hadn't wanted to become irrevocably his, she wouldn't have been able to stop it from happening.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks to those of you who are following this story! Please review, lovelies. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

_"You said I was the most exotic flower_

_Holding me tight in our final hour_

_I don't know how you convince them and get them, boy_

_I don't know what you do_

_It's unbelievable."_

Clove's brother took an awfully long time in the restroom, leaving Cato alone with his little girl. He held her waist with one arm, pulling her from her chair to his right knee.

"You confuse me," he murmured, his lips almost brushing her ear. She felt as if her whole body was blushing as he spoke, his breath igniting her senses.

"You confuse me too," she whispered, looking down at his hand that was slowly making its way up her exposed thigh.

"I just want to know you, kitten," he said quietly, his hand moving at a snail's pace over her pale skin. He was confused. In a way, he felt close to this small girl, perching her on his knee as if she were a beloved pet, but in a completely contradictory way he felt like she was world's away and he simply couldn't reach her.

She had nodded as he spoke, though not particularly sure what he meant. She evaluated her current state of mind, though, and concluded that she wasn't sure of anything at all. She closed her eyes as his fingers ventured to the bottom hem of her pajamas.

He didn't dare direct his fingers further than the soft strip of skin between the edge of her panties (lace, notably) and her thigh, even though he was positive she wouldn't stop him. He noticed her quick, soft breaths as he trailed a single finger over the same strip of skin again and again, smiling to himself.

She felt like she was underwater, everything cloudy and muddled. Everything except for Cato's finger, running over the sensitive skin beside the left edge of her underwear. She breathed it tiny gasps, her eyes still closed.

He kissed the back of her head gently. "You're so soft," he whispered into her hair, moving his hand from it's very dangerous location to a safer one on her smooth thigh.

She whimpered softly as he relocated his hand, but the sensitive place where his finger had been moments before felt branded by him. She knew she would never forget how it felt to have him touch her there.

"You're so soft, and small, kitten," he mused with a content smile before moving her hair so that it fell over her left shoulder. He planted a gentle kiss on the back of her neck, her skin warm against his lips.

Her breath hitched as he kissed her, and she could have sworn she felt her heart stop as his lips traveled to the side of her neck and elected a particularly sensitive spot to attach to. He sucked lightly on her skin, eager to test her reaction.

"Oh," she said, or rather quietly exclaimed, as Cato sucked her neck. He flicked his tongue over the area before sucking again, hard enough so that he knew he would leave a very suspicious mark on her otherwise untouched skin.

"So you'll remember you're mine, little Clover," he whispered, his lips brushing her earlobe ever so slightly.

She nodded, dazed as she felt strong arms remove her from her comfortable perch back to her respectable seat at the round table. She ran her fingers through her hair as her brother returned from the bathroom in a feeble attempt at arranging it to cover the rather large, blooming mark on her neck. He stared at her with a peculiar expression.

"Hey Clo, can we talk in private for a second?" he asked, motioning with his head to the hallway nearest the staircase. She stood up quickly and followed him down the hall until they were out of earshot of Cato, who sat patiently at the table. Clove's heart beat quickly, fearing that somehow her brother knew about the intimate events that had just transpired. She nervously twirled her hair around her finger, avoiding eye contact with her brother.

"Does my little sis have a hickey?" he asked in a hushed voice, a slight smirk on his face. She blushed furiously and bit her lip, shrugging slightly. "Come on, move your hair," he said, chuckling quietly. She rolled her eyes and moved her hair back over her left shoulder, sighing and looking up at him as her incriminating love-bite was revealed.

"Oh my God," he said, laughing. "You'd better hide that when mom and dad get home," he said, shaking his head with a smirk.

She nodded, still blushing as he pulled her into a protective hug. "If whoever gave you that does anything to hurt you, tell me and I'll kick his ass," he said, still holding her tightly. "Oh, and use protection," he added with a chuckle, knowing it would embarrass her. She laughed quietly and hugged him back, nodding.

They sat back down at the table, Clove still blushing and her brother chuckling and shaking his head as he glanced at her hickey again. Cato looked at both of them, mentally sighing in relief as he realized her brother didn't know about anything that had transpired between himself and his little angel.

"How long are you in town?" Clove's brother asked, turning to Cato.

"Not sure, I don't really know what I'm doing yet," Cato said, shrugging. He had just finished his second year of university abroad, studying in Europe for a much needed change in scenery, and was taking a year off with no real plan on his mind.

"You should stay with us for a while, my parents never shut up about when you're going to visit. I think they love you more than they love me."

Clove laughed, knowing there was a high chance of it being true. Her parents had always harbored a strong affinity for the blonde, fawning over him whenever he visited. Clove had never thought of him in a way that suggested she would like to be any more than family friends, and they barely spoke when he was in town previously. That just added to the general confusion of the current situation at hand, in which she was deeply entangled.

Cato glanced at his Clover, grinning at her laughter, and nodded. "If it's not a problem, staying here would be cool. But only to hang out with your parents," he said, smirking.

"Sounds like a plan," Clove's brother said, grinning and standing up from the table and grabbing his keys from the counter. "Hey, so I have to go take care of some stuff at the store," he said (referring to the store he worked at), "I'll be back in a couple hours. Just don't let this one invite any boys over," he said, chuckling and raising an eyebrow at his sister who laughed and shook her head.

As her brother pulled out of the driveway, the air suddenly felt thicker, harder for Clove to inhale as she attempted to process the thought of spending "a couple hours" alone with Cato, someone who had claimed her as his own, and to whom she had become the willing property of.

Cato could feel his whole body grow warm as his little one's brother left, not fully comprehending the prospect of two hours alone with his angel. He gazed at her, watching her take shallow breaths, knowing the she was thinking the same things as him.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I think you'll all like this one. That's all I'm going to say, thanks for following and please keep reviewing!**

_"Because I'm crazy, baby_

_I need you to come here and save me _

_I'm your little scarlet starlet singing in the garden _

_Kiss me on my open mouth."_

Cato watched his darling as she played with her hair, shifting nervously in her seat. He smiled and reached out to touch her face, but to his surprise she pulled away.

"What's wrong, Clover?" he asked, furrowing his brow as she glanced at him with a sad expression.

She shook her head and sighed. "I'm just so confused by this all, I don't know what to do," she said softly, meeting his eyes with hers.

He nodded, scanning her face. "I don't know either. I just know I like having you near me, kitten." He reached out again to stroke the side of her face, and this time she didn't shy away.

"I like being near you, too," she said quietly. "There's just a lot of stuff I don't quite understand." She looked up at him, searching his eyes for some kind of answer to the questions that made her mind spin out of control.

He tilted his head, studying her face. "I don't understand either," he murmured, before standing up and offering her his hand. "Come here."

She nodded and took his hand, walking with him to the couch. She sighed quietly, curling up into a comfortable ball as he pulled her onto his lap. She felt like she was in an odd dream, her mind fuzzy as she focused on the feeling of his large arms around her, one of his hands caressing her side.

He could feel her heart beating rapidly as he stroked the material of her top, occasionally brushing his fingers over the exposed skin of her hip. He smiled as she pressed a gentle kiss to the crook of his neck, leaving his skin feeling alive with something he couldn't put into words. He slid his hand beneath the hem of her top, drumming his fingers on his sweetheart's spine.

Every movement he made was amplified for her, sending surges of tingling warmth through her body. She scattered small kisses across his neck, reveling in the inviting warmth of his skin against her almost-innocent lips.

His kitten's kisses were so sweet to him; sweeter than the pancakes she had so carefully made for breakfast, and sweeter even than the taste of strawberry they had so discreetly shared.

She smiled softly as his hand moved further up her top, tentatively playing with the trim (also lace, she was fond of matching underwear) of her bra. "You can, you know," she whispered against his neck, closing her eyes. "If you want to." Once again, she knew she would let him touch her even if she didn't specifically say he could, but she felt as if clarification would give her some sense of control in such an unusual, confusing situation.

He raised his eyebrows at her permission. "You want me to touch you, darling?" He asked, his finger tracing a line directly below the underwire of her bra.

She shivered, once again feeling the sensation of a full body blush. "If you want to," she repeated quietly, nuzzling her face into his neck. She gasped against him as she felt his hand cup her small breast, and her heart thumped against his tenderly placed fingers.

He curved his hand around the lace-clad breast of his blushing doll, noticing her erratic heartbeat. "You're so delightful, little bird," he whispered with a small smile, squeezing gently.

She moaned quietly as he squeezed her, then gasped and bit her lip as he dipped an adventurous finger past the top of her bra which soon made contact with her sensitive peak.

His smile grew as he felt her nipple harden at his touch, his finger slowly circling the area of greatest sensitivity. He chuckled softly as she whimpered, never wanting to let the soft sound of her pleasure infused voice leave his head.

She was spinning in wonderland, some mad hatter playing with her deep in the woods. She kissed Cato's neck again and again, small whimpers and moans escaping as his finger explored her tender flesh.

He removed his finger from her bra after a few more moments of tantalizing exploration, trailing his hand across her ribcage.

"You're perfect," he murmured, to which she shook her head, almost unnoticeably. "Little one, you don't believe me. Why?" he asked, holding her tighter.

She laughed nervously and shook her head again. "Because I'm not," she said with a small shrug, looking down at nothing in particular.

He frowned, looking at her sadly. "I don't like it when you say stuff like that about yourself," he said, stroking her cheek.

"I'm sorry," she said, hugging him tightly with her arms around his neck. She pulled away after a moment and watched him as he nodded slightly, his expression softening a bit.

"Are you unhappy?" he asked suddenly. His hand traveled across her stomach, tracing precise circles around her belly button with his index finger.

She shook her head slowly, her mind almost too befuddled by his gentle touch to form a coherent sentence. "Forget what I said, it doesn't matter," she said, looking down again.

He tilted his head slightly. "Well, to me you're perfect, like a doll," he said, kissing her forehead. "And I wish you thought the same."

She smiled softly at his words, planting a chaste kiss at the corner of his lips. Her body was filled with a shock of nervous excitement when he kissed her on her open mouth, which had been captured mid gasp by his lips. Her gasp was due to the change in the location of his hand, which was now very, very close to entering her panties.

He trailed his tongue across her upper lip while his fingers teased at the lace trim of her panties. He smiled as he felt his little one's tentative tongue make contact with his more experienced one, and he swirled his with hers in a frenzied dance, eager to memorize the feeling of her soft mouth.

She let his tongue lead hers in the wild dance, and moaned quietly as he took her bottom lip between his teeth. She didn't pull away as his large hands grabbed her waist and pushed her gently onto the couch, his body above her.

He slowly trailed his hand down his angel's taut stomach, finally hooking two fingers over the top of her pajama shorts. He looked at her face, smiling at how beautiful she looked. His darling's hair was spread around her head, and her faced was flushed to a blooming, rosy shade.

"Oh, little one," he said, tugging on her shorts which slid easily off of her hips. "You look gorgeous like this." He pulled her tiny shorts down her body to her ankles, adjusting on the couch so his face was positioned between his lovely girl's legs.

She felt as if she was going to explode, the sensation of his hot breath on her bare thighs making her lose all concepts of reality. She was back in wonderland, tasting dangerous sweets that made her feel crazy. She fell away, her mind replaced with a fuzzy curtain of delicious pleasure as Cato's mouth traveled over the innermost surface of her thighs. His tongue swirled over her skin, light kisses were scattered, and he sucked and nibbled the tender flesh closest to her lace covered center.

He traced the left edge of her panties with his tongue, grinning as his little flower emitted quiet sounds of pleasure. He then indulged himself, his rationality long gone since first entering this inexplicable labyrinth with his sweetheart, and pressed his lips to her, through the lace of her underwear (which he liked very much.) He kissed her center again upon hearing her moan so beautifully the first time, then began sliding the lacy garment down her legs to meet her shorts with a finger hooked in each side.

She had no control over anything at the current moment. She gave up of trying to suppress her moans and whimpers as he removed her underwear, or as she felt his breath once again on her most private place. She gripped the couch in both of her fists as he tenderly kissed her exposed core, feeling a warm, lively pleasure settling in her lower half.

He lightly kissed the secret place of his angel several times, lost in the sounds of her pleasure ridden voice. He then explored her pink folds with his tongue, her gasps and squeaks acting as encouragement.

"Your lips are so soft," he murmured with a slight smirk, his face still buried between her legs. He looked up at his little flower, her face blooming with even more color as she whimpered in response. He chuckled softly and licked her again, pushing his tongue into her. He brought a hand to her center to caress her swollen bundle of nerves as his tongue slid in and out of her heated core.

She moaned in pure ecstasy, the sensation of his tongue sliding in and out and all over the most intimate part of herself clearing her mind of anything but the warm sensations shooting through her body. She gasped as his teeth grazed her most sensitive spot, sending her into a new wave of high pitched whimpers.

He smiled against her as he worked with his tongue, her sounds filling him with a feeling of satisfaction he had never felt. He wanted nothing more than to make his kitten feel amazing, and as she climaxed, emitting soft mewls of bliss, he knew he had succeeded. He licked her clean of her sweet juices before adjusting on the couch so he was hovering over her body, his forehead pressed to hers.

"You sound just like a kitten when I play with you, little one," he whispered, grinning.

"You taste like me," she murmured against his lips as he kissed her, tracing her tongue across his lips.

"Much better than strawberries, kitten," he said, his voice low as he leaned away from her and pulled her panties and shorts back up her legs.


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: Please keep reviewing, reading your reviews makes me super happy! I'll only keep updating if you keep reviewing, and you know you want me to update. (Especially after this chapter, I guarantee. )**_

_"Well this is torturous_

_Electricity between both of us_

_And this is dangerous_

_'cause I want you so much."_

Cato held his little one in his lap, her head nuzzled into the crook of his neck. He was in awe of her. He couldn't have gotten the beautiful sounds of her moans and whimpers out of his head if it was his intention to do so, and it wasn't. He rubbed her back gently for a while, smiling at her content sighs, before looking up at the clock and noticing an hour and a half had passed since her brother left for his errands.

"Your brother will be home soon," he said, looking down at her, stroking her hair. He lifted her from his lap, setting her standing on the floor.

She sighed at the loss of her warm cocoon, having been so comfortable in his arms. She pecked him on the cheek before scurrying upstairs to shower, a small smile on her pink lips.

Cato smiled as he watched his kitten ascend the stairs, but his smile quickly disappeared as he turned to the front door and saw her brother's confused face peering through the glass pane.

Clove's brother had witnessed Cato lift his sister off of his lap, and seen her kiss his cheek before running upstairs. He entered the house, looking at his friend with pure and utter confusion on his face.

"What was that, then?" he asked, motioning with an outstretched arm towards the staircase his little sister had just occupied. He didn't sound angry, but his tone was definitely not as friendly as usual.

"When you left she seemed upset," Cato said, quickly racking his brain for a believable lie. He kept his face neutral, wanting it to seem like the most casual situation possible. "I asked her what was going on, she said it was just some stuff with a guy. I gave her a hug, we sat down, she told me about it, said thanks for listening, and ran upstairs."

His friend's face had changed once Cato mentioned the boy, a smirk crossing his face. "Must've been about the boy who gave her that massive hickey," he said, shaking his head with a chuckle. "She's too young for this sort of drama already. So what happened? He hooked up with someone else?"

"Something like that," Cato said, nodding with a slight smirk. "She didn't want me to tell you, she's embarrassed," he said, mentally sighing with relief that his lie was convincing.

Clove showered, her mind racing at a mile a minute as the hot water washed over her body. She was in a state of dangerous bliss; she had fallen for Cato the night before, and was quite certain the same had happened to him regarding herself, but she knew that everything they had done was taboo and would be looked down upon if anyone were to find out. Cato was 4 years and 10 months her senior. He was an adult man, she was a young girl. She knew it was wrong, so very wrong, but to her it felt so very right. She shampooed her hair and washed her body, her hands traveling over all the places Cato's had been. She stayed in the shower a long time, trying to calm herself to a state of normality. She turned off the shower once she felt a little less dazed, drying off and getting dressed in white denim shorts and a tight grey tank top, her underwear once again a matching set. She looked at herself in the steamed mirror as she combed her hair, not noticing anything different appearance but feeling like she was someone completely new. She pondered this as she applied her usual eyeliner and mascara, not knowing how someone could change so much on the inside with the outside staying the same. Cato had made her forget who she was, and it was very hard to find that girl again. It seemed she had been left at the entrance to the labyrinth Clove now found herself inside.

Cato's conversation with his sweetheart's brother had quickly moved on from the topic of the strange encounter said brother had witnessed, and they were in the midst of discussing plans for a party when Cato spied his girl coming down the stairs. Her hair hung in damp waves around her freckled face, bouncing slightly with each of her steps. She walked past the guys, grabbing her book from the counter they leaned on, and curled up in her usual spot on the couch. She opened to the page she had last stopped on in a feeble attempt at thinking about something other than Cato and their secret encounters, but she couldn't keep her eyes away for long enough to save herself from the blushing that seemed to occur every time he entered her thoughts.

"I'll invite all the guys," Clove's brother said with a smile, his thumbs tapping away at his phone. Cato nodded, smiling at the thought of reuniting with his old crew of friends.

"I haven't seen them all in forever," he said, shaking his head and chuckling as he remembered all the stupid things they'd done in high school. He was surprised so many of them had stayed in the area, himself being the only one who took advantage of his new freedom and left upon his first opportunity.

Clove couldn't help but listen to their conversation, noticing how different Cato acted with her brother than with her. She glanced up at him, his chuckle putting a smile on her face before she turned her eyes back to her book.

"Oh, shit," her brother said, his phone buzzing with a new text message. "Apparently Glimmer is stopping by. Should I tell her not to come?"

Cato's heart nearly stopped. Glimmer, his ex girlfriend. They had dated from sophmore through senior year, and he had truly loved her. They experienced everything for the first time together. He hadn't seen her since she betrayed him, cheating on him the night after graduation. She was part of the reason he had left so quickly. He left and spent most of his time for the past two years in Europe studying alone, and he came back a completely different person. Having that much time to think about who he was made him realize how different he was from Glimmer, and he matured very much in the span of his break from reality. The thought of her seemed so distant, so very foreign, and quite unsettling indeed.

"It's fine, I don't mind," he said, glancing at his little Clover, curled up on the couch with her nose in a book. "She doesn't matter to me anymore," he said, shrugging.

Clove's brother nodded, answering his phone as it vibrated again. "Hey, yeah tell everyone to come at 8," he said, stepping into the hallway to go over details of the evening with one of the invitees.

Clove got up off of the couch as soon as her brother was out of sight, walking to Cato and placing her book on the counter next to him. She looked up at him, her brow furrowed slightly.

"What's bothering you, kitten?" he asked, his voice hushed. He reached out and stroked her cheek, the feeling of her soft skin making him remember every reason why Glimmer didn't matter to him anymore. She was never angel, or little one, or kitten. She was always just Glimmer, and he saw now that the small girl that stood in front of him was very, very much more than that. She was able to make him crazy, and confused, and uncontrollable in a deliciously wrong way that he craved so much more than anything else.

"She was yours, wasn't she?" she asked, though her voice made the question more of a statement. She looked up at him, chewing her lip.  
"Not in the way that you're mine, little one," he said, picking her up gently and seating her on the counter. "She doesn't make my heart do this." He grabbed one of her small hands and placed it on his chest, allowing her to feel his heartbeat.

She nodded, leaving her hand on his chest as she gently kissed his jaw. "I'm yours in a special way, right?" she asked, her voice a tentative whisper. The thought of him touching another girl the way he touched her made her feel sad. She felt important with him, like she was his special secret that he had to keep safe.

He nodded, trailing his hands from her hips to her knees, her legs on either side of him as she sat on the counter. "You're mine in a very special way, angel," he murmured, kissing the large lovebite on her neck, smirking as he pulled away and noticed her face flushing pink. "And you won't let anyone else have you," he whispered into her ear, a simple command.

She shivered at his words, now understanding what Glimmer had done to destroy what she had with him. Cato soon set Clove back on the ground and she scampered back to the couch, lazily wasting the day away, finally finishing her book as well as several paintings and a poem. She was in a good mood, the hazy wonderland feeling that had lingered since the previous evening casting a beautiful glow over her perception. Cato had changed her. He had changed her innocence and her knowledge of herself, and it truly made her see things differently.

Cato ran around with Clove's brother most of the day, in preparation for the party that evening. They bought bottles of champagne, a chocolate cake, and plenty of appetizers. It wasn't to be a wild party, more of a nostalgic get together. Cato was looking forward to it, having missed many of his friends, but he couldn't help but feel anxious about his little sweetheart seeing Glimmer. In his stolen moments with the young girl, it had become clear to him that her self esteem was quite low. Glimmer was a conventionally pretty girl, and he feared that his angel would question his infatuation with herself after laying eyes on the tall blonde.

He was glad when they returned home with the various components for the party, his eyes brightening at the sight of his lovely Clover. He grins to himself as she helps the two men set up for their party, sneaking quick touches behind her brother's back. It made him feel so wrong, and dangerously excited. Each time her brother was distracted, he slipped a stealthy hand beneath his kitten's top, or placed a searing kiss on the back of her neck and watched her shiver and squirm.

She hadn't stopped blushing since Cato returned home, his scandalous behavior right under her brother's nose making her cheeks completely scarlet. She gasped as she felt his large palms on her backside as she bent over, picking up an escaped grape from the large platter of fruit that rested on the counter.

Cato smirked at his little girl's quiet gasp, glancing at her brother who was placing hors d'oeuvres in the oven. He squeezed his hands gently, his heart racing at the risky action. He flushed red, feeling his pants grow tighter as he touched her. He quickly shoved his hands into his pockets as she stood up.

She whipped around to face him, her mouth slightly opened and her face feeling as if it could catch fire at any moment. Her brother turned to face them, only moments after Cato's hands had rested in a very, very incriminating position. She walked to the other side of the counter, trying to look busy while arranging the fruit platter. Cato followed her, though, as her brother placed the champagne in the fridge to chill. He pressed himself against her, his hand finding it's way between her legs and brushing, light as air, over the front seam of her shorts.

"Those strawberries look absolutely delectable," he murmured before stepping away from her and off to the restroom to calm himself down, not to mention the growing situation in his trousers.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This chapter is pretty delightful, I'd say. Enjoy! Please review, I'll only keep updating if you review :')**

_"And if you're in love, then you are the lucky one,_

_'Cause most of us are bitter over someone._

_Setting fire to our insides for fun,_

_To distract our hearts from ever missing them."_

Clove changed her clothes when her brother announced the guests were on their way, slipping into a fitted black dress and spritzing herself with a rosy perfume before descending the stairs to open the door for a group of around ten people, all around her brother's age. They greeted her as they entered the house, but grew much more excited as they saw Cato for the first time in around a year. Clove watched as the old friends caught up, eating the food she had helped lay out and sipping the bubbling champagne that she was dying to try.

"Clover, get over here," a girl called, smiling with two glimmering glasses of champagne in her hands. Clove walked over to her and gave her a hug, careful not to make her spill. "I haven't seen you all summer, every time I come over you're out doing something."

Clove pulled away from the girl, Katniss, who had always acted as an older sister to the little brunette. It helped that she was in a relationship with her older brother, but they would probably stay close regardless. The older girl offered Clove one of the champagne flutes which she eagerly accepted, taking a hasty sip.

Katniss laughed. "How've you been, freckles?" she asked, taking a sip of her own drink.

"Really good," Clove said, absentmindedly glancing across the room at Cato as her lips met the edge of her glass again. "How about you?"

"Good," Katniss said with a nod, before leaning in close to Clove's ear. "I'll give you as much champagne as you want, this probably isn't going to be the most exciting party for you. Just don't say anything to your brother," she chuckled, patting Clove on the head with a devious smirk.

Clove giggled and downed her glass of champagne, smiling as the bubbles tickled her throat. "I won't say a word," she said as Katniss refilled her glass.

Cato watched as Katniss gave his darling more alcohol, smiling as he sipped his own. He kept an eye on her over the next few hours as she and Katniss slipped into the kitchen periodically. His angel always returned with a full glass.

When Katniss pulled Clove's brother onto the couch, kissing him hungrily and sloshing champagne on the carpet, Cato took the opportunity to go check on his little girl's sobriety, or rather lack thereof.

"Hello there, mister," Clove said, her voice laced with champagne induced giggles. He had approached her as she ate a strawberry from the fruit platter, an amused smile on his face. She giggled more as he kissed her on the cheek, her skin feeling warmer at the touch of his lips.

"You're drunk, kitten," he whispered into her ear, the smirk almost audible in his voice. He stroked her sides gently, tracing the curve of her waist. "And your dress is very cute," he added with a grin, nipping at her earlobe with his teeth.

She laughed, the sound bubbling out of her throat with a cheerful tone. "Champagne is wonderful," she said quietly, a silly grin on her face. "And thank you," she added, the combination of his compliment and the quick nibble of her earlobe making her face flush. "You're being so sweet, even in front of your friends," she mumbled as one of the guys from the living room stepped into the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

"Aw , someone got little Clover drunk," the guy laughed, shaking his head and turning on the sink.

Cato just smirked and stroked his little one's face gently, the alcohol in his system making his brain fuzzier than it usually was around her. The moment the guy left the kitchen, Cato gripped his angel's backside, pulling her close to him.

"You're adorable when you're drunk," he whispered, smiling widely at her bursts of giggles and her cheery, though quite relaxed face. "Can I have a kiss, you pretty little thing?" he asked, his eyes hazy with lust. He grinned as her lips, tasting of alcohol and strawberries, crashed against his in a feverish kiss.

"Champagne makes you a bit frisky, kitten," he murmured, pulling away slightly for a quick breath.

"Frisky," she giggled, pulling away as well. "Cute word," she mused before wriggling from his arms and returning to the living room, in search of Katniss. She spotted a tall, well dressed blonde, her gorgeous smile endearing the three men who stood before her with their eyes longingly scanning her body. Clove frowned as she realized this beautiful girl must be Glimmer, and her stomach did an uncomfortable flop as the blonde brushed past her on the way to the kitchen.

Cato stood by the counter in the kitchen, still sipping champagne as he spotted Glimmer slinking over to him. He shook his head as she wrapped her arms around his neck whispering in his ear.

"Baby," she purred. "We should go somewhere private, to catch up. It's been ages, Cato..." She trailed a hand down his chest as she spoke, toying with the buttons of his shirt.

He shook his head again. Glimmer, I don't want to catch up," he muttered, dodging her lips as she went in for a kiss. "Please, go bother someone else," he said, lightly placing his hands on her hips in an effort to escape her grasp. He didn't notice as his sweet, drunk, stumbling Clover peered at the scene from the doorway of the living room, her expression one of shock and hurt as she followed his hands with her eyes. She noticed Cato gripping Glimmer's hips tightly, and Glimmer pressing herself against him, whispering in his ear.

"Katniss," Clove called, walking (stumbling perhaps) dejectedly to the couch where Katniss rested in her brother's arms. "Is there any more champagne?" She actually felt quite nauseous, but she wanted to drink more nonetheless.

Katniss chuckled and stood up, leading the woozy little girl to the cooler where the last bottle was stored. "Just don't vomit, okay?" the older girl warned, kissing Clove on the head before sauntering away. Clove poured herself another glass, the bubbling liquid frothing over her arm as her unsteady hand tilted. She slumped down next to the cooler and finished the glass, letting a warm blanket of drunkenness envelop her. She sighed, noticing a smattering of tears rolling down her cheeks. She had another glass, shutting her eyes and sinking into a darker wonderland than the one she had found herself in previously, one where the mad hatter who had played with her so sinfully now held some other lost girl in his arms. She felt as though she was floating, or falling (she really couldn't decide). She opened her eyes and her vision swam, though with escaped tears or the effects of the alcohol in her system she wasn't positive. She stood up, wobbling precariously, and quietly made her way upstairs to her bedroom. She shut the door, peeled off her dress, and climbed into bed, burying herself in the covers.

Cato finally managed to get Glimmer off of him, only after much pointless and irritating arguing. He frowned as he meandered around the living room, not able to spot his pretty little flower. He hoped she wasn't being sick somewhere, and decided that if she didn't return in ten minutes he would go check in her room, considering the possibility that she had gotten tired and gone to sleep. Ten minutes he waited, finishing another glass of champagne as well as a slice of chocolate cake. He checked the time and didn't see his sweet one anywhere, so he quietly snuck up the stairs and opened the door to the room he knew was hers.

Clove woke up from her intoxicated nap, seeing the fuzzy figure of that damned mad hatter standing at the foot of her bed. She frowned slightly, chewing her lip as the confusing one leaned down and stroked her cheek.

"Princess, what's the matter?" he asked, furrowing his brow at his drowsy pet.

"You say I'm your princess, your pretty kitten, but Glimmer got to be in your arms," she mumbled, looking into his eyes with much trouble due to her still swimming vision.

"I didn't want her in my arms," he whispered, shaking his head which now felt much too light. "You are my princess, and my pretty kitten. She's nobody," he said. He couldn't tell if his words were slurring, but his little girl's definitely had been.

"Come here," she demanded, her voice soft and dreamy. "Hold me like I'm yours." She smiled softly as he complied, sliding beneath the covers with her and pulling her by her waist so her back was pressed to his chest.

"Silly kitten," he murmured into her hair. "You are mine. You're all mine." His hand slid down the soft skin of her stomach to cup her gently between the legs. He listened to her quietly whimper at his touch, smiling to himself. "Remember in the kitchen before the party, angel?" he asked, his fingers grazing the cloth of her panties. He continued speaking after she nodded and whimpered again, his voice husky. "I wouldn't do those naughty things to someone like Glimmer. And she wouldn't do to me what you did." His index finger rubbed careful circles around her sensitive bundle of nerves as he spoke, eliciting more sweet moans from his pretty girl.

"What did I do?" she asked quietly, biting her lip. She gasped as he took her hand and moved it behind her back, pressing her palm to the erection that strained against his jeans.

"You did that to me in the kitchen," he whispered, letting go of her hand. His other hand was still rubbing her, and she writhed against him as she approached her climax. He slipped his hand into her panties, rubbing and caressing her directly. Her soft cries of pleasure made him grin and coo her name as she came, her back arching in ecstasy.

She breathed deeply, her mind an utter mess. Earlier that evening, she had been drunk, elated, and frisky (his word). Next, she was woozy, tired, tearful, and stumbling. Then she was warm, comfortable, and asleep. But then the mad hatter came into her room, her bed, and brought the dangerous, lovely, secret feeling back. She had been upset with him, jealous beyond belief, but now she squirmed against him in the afterglow of her sweet climax, slowly rubbing his hardened member through his pants.

He groaned as her small hand felt him, but couldn't let things get any further. He reluctantly pulled her hand away, suppressing the moans of pleasure that had begin to build in the back of his throat.

"Little one, you shouldn't do that," he whispered, squeezing her hand lightly and removing his fingers from her panties. "You're very drunk, kitten..."

She nodded slightly, then shook her head. "But you...you made me...oh," she sighed, not able to form the sentence in the way she wanted. Her mind was too filled with bliss and alcohol and confusion to be coherent at this point.

He chuckled quietly. "Angel, go to sleep," he said, kissing her cheek softly and leaving her bed.

She nodded, yawning quietly and curling up in her nest of blankets. Her mind felt cushioned and light now, and her eyelids heavy. She fell asleep within mere minutes and remained in a quiet, undisturbed slumber until late the next morning.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Please keep reviewing! Reading your reviews makes me want to write more :) The musical that I'm in closes this weekend and then I'm flying to NYC for a dance trip, so there's a chance you might have to wait a week to find out the resolution to the cliffhanger ;)**

_"If you're going crazy_

_Just grab me and take me_

_I'd follow you down, down, down_

_Anywhere, anywhere."_

Clove woke up at noon the next day, rising from her bed with a throbbing headache and many scrambled details of the previous evening swimming in her head. She saw her dress on the floor and vaguely remembered undressing, but couldn't seem to recall what happened after that. Then it came back to her, the hazy details of Cato's visit to her room floating into her mind and causing her to feel wobbly. She pulled on a large sweatshirt and a pair of yoga pants before walking downstairs, the smell of coffee and waffles greeting her nose.

Cato had woken up about fifteen minutes before his little hungover doll, and he smiled sleepily as she descended the stairs. Her hair was disheveled and her face flushed, and he found it quite endearing. He also quite liked her big sweatshirt, mentally noting to give her one of his when he had the chance.

"Morning, sleepy," Katniss said, turning away from the pan of hash browns she was cooking to shoot a smile at the groggy brunette.

Clove returned her smile, yawning softly and placing a hand at her temple. She opened a cabinet and located a bottle of aspirin, shaking a couple of the pills into her hand.

Cato watched his sweetheart swallow the pills with a large gulp of water. He hoped she didn't feel too ill, because from the details he gathered from Katniss before the little one woke up it seemed like she had consumed quite a lot of alcohol indeed. He chuckled slightly, shaking his pounding head as he recalled bits and pieces of the drunken evening.

Clove sat down next to Cato at the table, gladly accepting the hot cup of coffee Katniss placed in front of her. She smiled slightly as Cato's hand found her knee, squeezing gently. She took a long drink of coffee, Cato's fingers lightly caressing her knee beneath the table.

"He's going to be asleep all day," Katniss said, placing the plates of food before the two already seated, chuckling as she addressed the missing member from the table. She was wearing one of Clove's brother's shirts, which definitely filled in the blanks for what had happened in his bed after everyone left. She sat down in one of the empty seats with a small smirk, one that neither Clove nor Cato knew the cause of.

Clove giggled slightly at Katniss' comment, taking a bite of food. She groaned, her head not appreciating the feeling of laughter.

"On a scale of one to ten, how drunk was I?" she asked, glancing between Cato and Katniss. She truly didn't know, her memory very unclear after her fourth trip to the kitchen with the older girl.

They both laughed, and Katniss responded. "Sweetie, you were a definite twelve, at least."

Clove sighed, not able to hide the small smile on her lips as Cato's hand slid further up her leg. "You weren't far off, Kat," she responded with a smirk, raising her eyebrows in an accusatory way.

Cato nodded in agreement, chuckling and taking a huge bite of food. He ran his fingers over the material of his angel's yoga pants as he ate, smiling as he looked up and saw her blush.

"I'm going back to bed," Katniss said as she finished her food and stood up from the table. To Clove's confusion, she leaned over to Cato's ear before walking away, keeping her voice low. "When her brother wakes up, keep your hands to yourself," she said, smirking and walking back to her slumbering boyfriend's room.

Cato turned completely red, placing his incriminating hand on the table. He drummed his fingers, embarrassment filling his body. He glanced at his darling, whose head was cocked in a curious manner.

"She told me to keep my hands to myself," he said with an amused smile, scanning her face for a reaction. He got the one he wanted, a lovely blush spreading across his doll's cheeks.

She stayed silent for a while, looking down at her unfinished plate of food. She pushed it away and chewed her lip, her appetite gone.

He watched his kitten with a slight frown. "What are you thinking about, princess?" he asked, cupping her cheek in his hand.

"What if she tells my brother something?" she asked, her voice very small. She didn't think Katniss would mention Cato's wandering hands, but she couldn't help her heart from beating quickly in dread.

"She won't," he said quietly, brushing his thumb beneath her eye to catch a stray lash. "You guys seem very close, and she didn't sound angry. She wouldn't have given me a warning if she was planning on saying anything."

She nodded, feeling quite relieved. She stared at him for a moment, sighing contentedly as he stroked the side of her face. "We fooled around last night, didn't we?" she asked, a slight smirk playing on her lips.

"Do you remember, little miss frisky?" he asked, returning her smirk and relocating the hand at her cheek to her knee once again.

"Only when you were in my room," she said, her whole body feeling hot as she recalled the drunken, dazed interactions for the second time that morning. She could only remember fragments, strung together in a strand of writhing, moaning, pleasure-filled moments.

He grinned, sliding his hand up her thigh and to the hem of her sweatshirt. "That wasn't all," he murmured, his hand creeping up her stomach as he spoke, feeling the goosebumps that formed due to his touch. "I touched you when we were in the kitchen," he said, his voice low and laced with something his Clover couldn't decipher. "And you kissed me very, very hard."

She shivered at his words, releasing a small moan as his hand found its way to her breast. He squeezed gently, kissing her cheek and letting his lips linger for a moment, barely brushing her warm, soft skin.

"You're quite bold when you're drunk, angel," he said with a grin. "And I still think 'frisky' is a good word." He squeezed her breast again, brushing his thumb across the tender skin at the top edge of her bra.

She didn't know it was possible for herself to blush as much as she did around him. She moaned again, her heart now throbbing more than her head. He made her feel nervous, confused, and so delightful she could barely handle it. He made her feel completely insane, and she was becoming addicted to the feeling.

He continued kneading her breast, her moans intoxicating him in a way that no alcohol ever could. He drank in every sound he caused her pretty little mouth to emit, and he felt like the luckiest man in the world because the sounds were his to keep. She was his heavenly poison, and he wasn't letting her go.

She pressed her needy lips to his, satisfied as he kissed her back with slow, gentle movements. She slid her arms around his neck, whimpering against his lips as he maneuvered his hand beneath her bra to caress her bare breast.

He kissed her over and over, his tongue venturing out of his mouth to taste hers. He was still awed by how innocent she was when she kissed him, and how tentative her tongue was when it met his. He couldn't get enough of her soft mouth, her velvety tongue making his senses feel clouded.

"Why is it that you always taste like strawberries?" he asked, his voice a husky whisper and his mouth only an inch from her slightly parted lips. He looked into her eyes, noticing the same misted over look they adopted whenever he kissed her, or touched her the way that he was at the moment.

"They're my favorite," she said with a slight shrug, sighing quietly as his hand left her chest and returned to the table.

"I'd feed you strawberries every day, if I could," he whispered, kissing her cheek softly. He took her hand and stood up, smiling as she stood up as well, and led her to the couch. He placed her on his lap in the same position they were in the day before, here arms loosely slung around his neck.

"Do I do that to you," she murmured quietly, her breath tickling his ear, "when we sit like this?" She made a point of wriggling on his lap, pressing a kiss to the spot below his ear.

He smirked as he realized what she was referring to, trying to contain a throaty groan as she shifted against him.

"Yes, kitten," he responded, his voice still husky and low. "You do that to me." His breath hitched in surprise as she scooted onto his right knee and turned slightly, her hand gripping him through his sweats. He glanced at her, raising an eyebrow as she squeezed softly.

She squeezed and caressed him through the material of his pants, blushing intensely as she felt him grow harder still. She smiled to herself as she heard him utter a low moan, sounding more like a growl than anything.

"Doll," he breathed his breath catching in his throat as her curious hand slipped beneath his waistband. "What are you doing?"

She gasped as she realized he wasn't wearing boxers, her small hand tentatively wrapping around his length.

She ignored his question, gently sliding her warm hand up and down his member at a slow, even rhythm. Her heart was beating quickly, and she was very nervous, but she couldn't get over the feeling of him in her hand, hard because of her.

He groaned deeply, shutting his eyes and tossing his head back on the couch. He couldn't believe what she was doing, and he almost lost it as he felt her crawl off of him, kneeling on the floor between his legs and pulling his pants down to the middle of his thighs with shy hands.

She bit her lip, looking up at him. The sight of his head tilted back in pleasure made her smile, and she gently flicked her tongue over the tip of his length, closing her eyes.

"God, kitten," he groaned, his hands gripping the edge of the couch. He knew she had never done this before; he knew she was an innocent girl besides what she had done with him. Somehow knowing this made his senses catch fire, her wet tongue exploring him in a most fevered way. He growled in pleasure as she finally took him in her small mouth.

She barely knew what to do, acting purely on instinct. For a few minutes she licked and sucked him, bobbing her head and taking in as much of him as she could fit. She didn't know what to do with her teeth, or if he liked when she swirled her tongue around the tip, but she kept going. She couldn't stop the small, involuntary gag that occurred as he climaxed, a hot, bitter substance hitting the back of her throat. She shuddered slightly as she swallowed his load, looking up at him from her spot between his legs.

He groaned her name as he climaxed, her inexperienced little mouth and her teeth lightly grazing his length sending him over the edge. He opened his eyes, which had been shut in ecstasy, in time to see her swallow. He smirked slightly as he pulled his pants up, watching her rosy face with interest.

"Was that okay?" she asked quietly, still kneeling in front of him. She had been quite nervous, embarrassed by her gag reflex and her lack of knowledge on teeth placement.

He sighed contentedly, sitting up and leaning over to kiss her on the head.

"It was perfect, kitten," he said, his voice low and smooth with the after-effects of his release. "I'm surprised you swallowed your first time." His lingering smirk increased in size as he wiped a bit of whitish substance from the corner of her mouth. "Missed a drop, though," he murmured, stroking her hair.

She blushed, flicking her tongue out to the corner of her mouth where his thumb had been and tasting a trace of salty liquid. She giggled slightly, peering up at him and offering a quiet, playful meow.

"Come here, pretty kitten," he said, chuckling slightly and motioning for her to sit next to him on the couch. He wrapped an arm around her small waist as she curled against him, stroking her side lightly.

She placed her hand on his chest and toyed with his hair with the other. She sighed quietly, the peculiar taste of him still in her mouth. Her lips met his jawline with many small kisses, her eyes fluttering shut.

He smiled slightly, feeling pleasantly serene. He held her close, just shutting his eyes for a moment (or so he believed). He soon drifted off into a light sleep, snoring softly in a post-climax, hungover state of relaxation with his kitten slipping into a similar slumber in his arms.

They were in the same position on the couch when Katniss woke up, her sleepy boyfriend trailing behind her on the way to the living room. Upon spotting the napping pair, Katniss let slip a small laugh before turning to her boyfriend, whose face was one of utter confusion.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: I'm leaving for NYC on Tuesday night, but I managed to write this chapter in between scenes in Legally Blonde and edit between shows :) I just love you all that much. Next one will be up soon, maybe I'll write on the plane ;)**

_"I can be your china doll if you like to see me fall_

_Boy you're so dope, your love is deadly_

_Tell me life is beautiful, they all think I have it all_

_I'm nothing without you."_

Clove's brother frowned slightly at the scene before him. He had let the first time go, when he saw his little sister in his best friend's lap, but this looked intimate. This looked like something he and Katniss did, not something for family friends.

"They're...cuddling," he said, tilting his head and looking at Katniss, who chewed her lip and shrugged in response.

Katniss decided not to say anything about what she had seen that morning at breakfast. It wasn't her business what was going on between them, and she really wanted to respect that. She didn't want to destroy her sisterly relationship with Clove over something she didn't know much about, so she kept her mouth shut.

"That's just fucking bizarre," her boyfriend said, motioning at the sleeping pair with one hand and running the other through his hair.

When Cato slowly opened his eyes, looking up at his sleeping kitten's brother through shocked eyes, he quickly slid his arms from around her waist and crossed them awkwardly in front of him.

"We should probably talk," her brother said, nodding his head towards the outdoor balcony. He walked outside with Cato behind him, who slid the door shut upon stepping out into the warm air. The tension was sizzling between them, neither boy knowing what to say.

"She's fifteen, Cato," her brother said, shrugging slightly. "And she's my sister. It's a...It seems like a dangerous situation."

Cato nodded, looking away. "I know. I...I just don't know what to do, honestly. It's confusing," he couldn't put into words what he felt for her. He was enamored, and it was almost painful.

"Do you love her?" his little one's brother asked, his brows still furrowed. He couldn't understand how he hadn't actually considered anything serious going on between them in the past few days.

Cato froze, his heart beating quickly. Did he love her? He was obsessed, addicted, and he never wanted her out of his life. All he could muster was a slight nod, too overwhelmed to verbalize.

Her brother sighed. "I just don't know what I'm supposed to say. She's my little sister, I'm supposed to hate her boyfriends and try to scare them and keep an eye on them, but you're my best friend. I can't tell you to get away from her, because all I want is for her to be happy. I just...I don't know, Cato. It's a lot to think about. And she's so, so young..."

"She is, and I don't want to be the cause for her to get some kind of reputation," Cato responded, shaking his head. "I just want whatever's best for her. If it means I should stay away, then I'll go." He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. "I'd wait." He didn't truly know if he could handle waiting almost three years for her to turn eighteen. That would be three years without touching her, hearing her whimper in pleasure because of him, feeling her squirm against him as pleasure overtook her body. He would suffer withdrawal, as if she were a drug. He knew now that he needed her, more than anything.

Her brother nodded. He could tell this wasn't a simple thing for his friend, and he saw that he truly cared about her in a way that would make sacrifices logical.

"It's really up to the two of you," he said, sighing. "I have my own thoughts on everything, and I'd like to talk to her when she wakes up." His voice was calmer now, and his face relaxed a bit. "But I trust you, Cato, and I'm trusting you not to hurt her."

Cato nodded as his friend walked inside, following him through the sliding glass door.

Katniss was seated on the couch, rubbing the back of a now awake and seemingly upset Clove. Frowning up at her boyfriend, Katniss spoke softly. "She's afraid you're angry at her," she said sadly. She had waited on the couch for Clove to wake up, and when she filled her in on what had happened the young girl became terribly worried that her brother was mad.

Clove lifted her head from where it was buried in her knees upon hearing her brother enter, and when he suggested that they go speak in his room she was quick to obey. Her heart thumped in her chest and her head was pounding again; she was so afraid that he was furious.

"Clo, don't look so frightened," he said, wrapping his arms around his little sister in a reassuring hug. He rubbed her back gently before pulling away, wanting her to know he wasn't unhappy with her. "He said he loves you."

Clove's heart seemed to skip several beats, and her cheeks returned to their now frequently seen shade of red. He loves her. Nobody had ever said that before, excluding family of course. Not even her horrible ex boyfriend, who'd been much too handsy but never wanted to kiss her before he betrayed her completely. But Cato loves her, and the wonderland just got much more complicated.

"I don't know anything about love," Clove murmured, looking up at her older brother with nervous eyes. She knew what she read in countless books, or saw in movies, but the intimacy she had shared with Cato was alien and unfamiliar, and she was learning every moment.

"I know," he said, nodding slightly. "That's why this worries me. You're so young, Clover, and he's an adult man. You must realize that people will talk, if you two continue whatever it is you have with each other. They'll say nasty things about you, and him, and probably me and our parents. I don't want you to get hurt, Clo, by anyone. It's my job to look out for you, that's why this is so hard."

She stayed silent as he talked, nodding occasionally. Her mind was too loud, the word 'love' filling every empty space. Love was overwhelming. It meant true feelings, and care, and commitment, and trust. It scared her.

"It's wrong, isn't it? For him to love me?" she asked, chewing her lip and looking down.

Her brother sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"It's not seen in a particularly good way," he said, trying not the be harsh with his words. "I trust him a lot, but I also know him well. If he expects things from you that he would expect from a woman his age, you can't just give them to him because it's him and he's the first one to love you, alright? If things happen between you two, adult things, and people find out, there will be huge consequences for him, and you won't be able to stop them."

"I know," she responded softly, looking down. She didn't want to get him in any trouble for being with her. She fidgeted with her hands, realizing the weight of the situation. Phrases like 'statutory rape', 'child molester', and 'paedophile' crawled into her head, making her stomach hurt. She didn't think of him that way at all, she was willing to do everything they had done, but she wasn't at the age of legal consent so it truly wouldn't matter what she said if word got out.

"You're a smart girl, Clo, but you're naïve. I'm so afraid of you having your heart broken," he said, looking down at her with a sad smile. "Do you love him?"

"Yes," she whispered without hesitation. "I love him. It's overwhelming." She wrapped her arms around her brother, taking a deep breath with her face buried in his chest. She squeezed tighter when he hugged her back, relieved that her brother was still there for her. When he loosened his arms she pulled away, kissing him on the cheek. "You're still my favorite guy, don't worry," she said with a small smile.

Her brother chuckled, patting her on the head. He still had many things to think about, like the situation with his parents. He had already promised Cato he could stay with them, but it might complicate things if they knew about the love between him and their daughter. Their parents were free spirits, very liberal and open, but he didn't know how they would feel about this, his father especially.

"And you're still my baby sister."

The two walked back to the living room, finding a nervous Cato and an excited looking Katniss. Cato was freaked out, that her brother had warned her to stay away from him. He had no idea what Katniss was so damn excited about, but it was making him even more nervous than he already was when he saw the unreadable expressions on the faces of his angel and her big brother.

"Let's go on a double date," Katniss said with a grin, easily being able to tell that the conversation between her boyfriend and his sister had ended on a positive note. She looked at Cato, chuckling at his expression, then at her boyfriend, and finally at Clove. Predictably, Clove blushed furiously, covering her face in her hands. This made Cato's sickly nervous face relax into a smile, and his kitten's brother caught his eye with a slight nod.

"Sounds good," Cato finally said, breaking the silence.

"Wait, clarification," Katniss said, not able to hide her joy. "You guys are officially together now, right?"

Clove's face remained in her hands, a semi-permanent blush on her cheeks as her lips spread into a wide grin.

Cato chuckled, nodding. "I'd say yes, and I think Clover agrees," he said, glancing at his blushing little doll.

"Okay okay, very cute," her brother said with a slight smirk. "I think showers are in order, me and Katniss first," he said, grabbing his girlfriend's hand and earning uncomfortable glances from the brand new couple. They walked briskly up the stairs, leaving Clove and Cato alone.

Cato got up from the couch where he was sitting, walking to his little princess' open arms. He picked her up, holding her by her thighs and placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

"You're my girlfriend," he said, a grin on his face. "I'm so happy, kitten."

"I'm so happy, too," she said softly, resting her forehead against his with a smile. "I was yours ever since you first touched me. I fell for you so fast, Cato. It was unbelievable."

"You were so nervous, angel. I wasn't thinking about what I was doing at all, you...you make my mind completely blank. I couldn't think about anything except for you, and how good it felt to be close to you."

She shivered in his arms, remembering the night. "Was that when you fell for me, too?" she asked, hooking her ankles together behind him.

He shook his head before answering, a small smile on his lips. He squeezed her thighs lightly before speaking, just so see her blush.

"It was when I saw you reading your book," he said, his smile growing. "I don't know what it was, but I couldn't stop thinking about you after that."

Clove smiled and kissed him softly, her lips barely brushing his. She was glad when he kissed her back, moaning as he took her lip between his teeth and bit softly.

He bit her again, harder, the delightful sound of her moans intoxicating him. He moved one of his hands to palm her backside, rubbing and squeezing her as he continued to kiss her and nibble on her lip.

She melted against him, allowing his tongue to lead hers, and his teeth to bite her lip, then her neck. She tilted her head sideways as his teeth made contact with the sensitive skin of her neck, craving more of the tingling sensations that seemed to settle right between her legs.

He bit her neck again, his teeth leaving an indentation right above the slightly faded hickey from two days prior. He sucked the spot as well, and she squirmed against him with a series of cat-like whimpers. He chuckled against her skin before pulling back.

"Kitten likes to be bitten," he said, smirking as she pretended to pout.

"Oh, shut up," she said quietly, moaning loudly as he bit her again.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: I've just closed my show & gotten home from NYC, and as an apology for the wait I wrote a pretty...steamy chapter. Enjoy and review! xoxo**

_"Likes to watch me in the glass room, bathroom,_

_Chateau Marmont. _

_Slippin' on my red dress,_

_puttin' on my make-up. _

_Glass room, perfume, cognac, lilac fumes,_

_says it feels like heaven to him."_

Cato held his little one by her thighs, pressing her against the wall. He bit her neck again, the delectable sounds of her moans arousing him greatly. He groaned softly as his kitten squirmed against him, her hips moving and creating a sort of delicious friction. He ground himself against her, his hardened member rubbing her between her legs.

She whimpered quietly as she felt his erection rubbing against her, and louder as his hips moved against hers once again.

"God, Cato," she murmured, her breaths quick and shallow. "You're so hard, it feels so good..." She gasped as he ground harder against her, his hands on her waist.

He held her tightly, using his hands to bring her closer to him as he bit her neck once again. He was overwhelmed with feeling, baffled at what her words alone could do. This time, as he bit her, her hips shifted involuntarily, causing him to groan deeply.

"Kitten, you don't know what you're doing to me..." he said, his voice close to a low growl. "You feel so good against me, little one."

"Let me do what I did earlier," she said quietly, grinding against him again, on purpose this time. "I can tell that you want me to touch you." She could feel how hard he was against her, and it made her crazy. She couldn't focus on anything else.

He shook his head. He would truthfully love for her to perform her clumsy oral on him again, but he knew it wouldn't be the most comfortable situation if his angel's brother and Katniss walked in on him receiving said deed from little Clover. He wanted to do a lot of things with her, actually, but he knew she was young and nervous and he didn't want to force her or pressure her into anything. He was never the sort of guy that took advantage, and he never wanted to be seen that way.

She tilted her head, confused. She had pleased him earlier, and she was offering to please him again, but he declined. "Why don't you want me to do things to you?" she asked softly, one of her hands creeping between the two of them and brushing over his hardened length, causing him to gasp. "You clearly enjoy rubbing yourself on me," she whispered in his ear, pleased with the groan he emitted.

"It's complicated," he said, shaking his head again. "And your brother and Katniss are probably going to be out of the shower soon. Don't worry about it, kitten."

She frowned slightly as he set her down, and couldn't keep her eyes off of his erection. She stroked him again, looking up at him with wide eyes.

He grabbed her wrist, moving her soft little hand away from him, and pushed her back against the wall. He slid a hand from her chest to her stomach, then into her panties.

"Princess," he said, tracing his middle finger across her now wet center. "It's so easy for you to see how you affect me, but I have to feel what I do to you." Her quiet whimpers and soft moans built as he slid his finger into her. "You make me want you so bad with the slightest touch, but I can't let you please me all the time." He pumped his finger in and out of her, rubbing her little bundle of nerves with his thumb as he did so.

She writhed against the wall, coming undone at his touch. She whimpered and moaned as his fingers caressed her, rubbed her, and slid in and out of her. She reached out and slipped her hand into his sweats, gripping his length.

He groaned, pushing another finger into her and curling them, feeling her coming close to climax.

"Kitten, stop it," he murmured as she began stroking his member up and down with her soft little hand. He curled his fingers inside of her again, knowing it felt good based on her quick breaths and frenzied moans of pleasure. He grinned as she orgasmed, groaning as she involuntarily squeezed his length.

"Please, kitten, paws off," he said through gritted teeth, trying to suppress another moan. He sighed as she removed her hand from him, her eyes still shut in pure bliss. "Here, kitten, taste," he murmured, pressing the fingers that had been inside her to her soft lips.

She tentatively licked his fingers, sucking lightly as she took them into her mouth. She licked them clean, tasting herself with a small smile. She looked up at him, biting his index finger gently.

He chuckled quietly. "Yummy, right?" he asked, pulling his fingers from her mouth with a grin. His grin widened as she nodded, the beginning of a smile on her lips as well. He kissed the top of her head softly, holding her close. "Time for you to shower, angel," he said as he heard his doll's brother and his giggling girlfriend leave the bathroom.

She nodded, kissing his cheek quickly before venturing upstairs, first to her room to select clothing for the double-date that evening. She chose a short dress made of navy lace, and a set of matching underwear just in case Cato would see. She entered the bathroom and turned on the shower, undressing as steam filled the room. She left the door unlocked, half purposely and half because she had forgotten by the time she stepped behind the shower curtain. She stood under the stream of hot water, sighing and closing her eyes.

"Gale, can you drive me to my house to pick up something to wear? All I have is my skank dress from last night, and your sweats," Katniss called to Clove's brother, who was still upstairs. He followed her out of the house, his keys jingling in his pocket.

Cato smiled to himself, walking upstairs as soon as Gale's car was out of the driveway. He knocked gently on the bathroom door. "Kitten, can I come in?"

"Sure," she said over the sound of the water, her heart beating quickly. She was nervous, and scared that he wouldn't like how she looked which was silly because he was clearly smitten.

He opened the door and stepped into the steamy room, grinning slightly at her silhouette behind the shower curtain.

"Darling, can I look at you?" he asked, not wanting to make her uncomfortable. He just wanted to see his little doll in her purest form; the thought of her completely unclothed was overwhelming.

She blushed deeply, hesitating for a moment.

"Okay," she said softly, turning towards the stream of water and letting it hit her face. She ran her hands through her wet hair as Cato pulled back the shower curtain, her eyes closed.

"Oh, kitten," he said, smiling. "You're so beautiful." His eyes traveled over his angel's naked body, taking in every detail. He was in awe. He loved the curve of her waist, her smooth skin, and her small, round breasts. He loved her hair, her cheeks, and her slender legs. He loved everything about her.

"Come in, with me," she said quietly with a slight smile, her eyes still closed. Her smile grew as she heard his clothing drop to the bathroom floor before he stepped into the shower behind her.

He squeezed some of his darling's sweet smelling body wash into his palm and placed his hands on her shoulders, massaging the soap into a lather.

She sighed contentedly as his hands traveled from her shoulders down her back, and then to her waist. Her mind almost melted as she felt his slippery hands glide to her breasts, squeezing gently.

He smiled to himself at the sound of his kitten's quiet moans in response to his hands on her bare skin. He soon moved a hand between her legs, rubbing her slowly and recieving a few intoxicating whimpers in response before sliding both of his hands to her hips and pulling her close.

She gasped as she felt his erection pressing into her back, biting her lip. She arched her back slightly, feeling his member slide against her.

"Cato, please let me touch you," she murmured, placing her hands on top of his.

He smirked slightly and turned her around, pulling her close to him and switching his hands to be on top of hers. He guided one to wrap around his length, curling her fingers around him.

He kept his hand on top of hers, leading her hand up and down his shaft. He groaned, replacing both of his hands at her waist once she began moving her hand on her own. His doll's slippery little hand squeezed him firmly, pumping up and down like he had shown her.

She went faster, hoping she was doing what he wanted. She didn't know why he got to touch her whenever he wanted, but she wasn't allowed to please him as frequently. It was odd to her, her one previous boyfriend had only wanted her to do sexual things with him, and she didn't want to at all. With Cato it was different, and better.

Cato felt himself coming close to climax, watching his soapy, naked little kitty using her hand to squeeze and stroke him. "Princess, you're doing so well, I'm so close," he murmured, earning a pleased smile on his little one's face as she went faster still.

She gasped softly as he came on her chest, looking up at him and biting her lip. She let go of his member, placing both of her arms around his neck.

"I like how you look with my cum on your chest, sweetheart," he whispered huskily in her ear, sliding a hand up to her breast.

She blushed and whimpered quietly as he gently pinched her nipple, pleasure shooting through her veins like a drug. "Again," she mumbled as his finger traced a circle around her now hardened peak.

He raised an eyebrow, surprised by her request. "You like when I do that, darling?" He grinned as she nodded, pinching her again.

She kissed him softly, then pulled away. "It's crazy what you do to me, Cato," she said quietly, looking into his eyes.

"I could say the same about you, Clover," he responded, smiling. "Finish your shower, baby, I'll meet you downstairs."

She nodded slightly, sighing quietly at the loss of his touch as he left the shower. She rinsed off her body and cleaned her hair and face, humming lightly. She was in a very good mood, and butterflies grew in her stomach for a reason she couldn't explain. Wonderland was beautiful again, and the darkness of the previous night was forgotten. That silly mad hatter only wanted to play with Clove, nobody else, and that made her happier that words could explain.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Hey guys, I'm loving the reviews. Please keep them coming! This chapter is a bit long, but it's got some plot stuff as well as a very...charming ending. Enjoy ;) xx (Also if you were wondering, my tumblr is .com. You know, if you want to stalk my life or something.)**

_"Hey Lolita, hey! Hey Lolita, hey!_

_I know what the boys want, I'm not gonna play_

_Hey Lolita, hey! Hey Lolita, hey!_

_Whistle all you want, but I'm not gonna stay_

_No more skipping rope skipping heartbeats with the boys downtown_

_Just you and me feeling the heat even when the sun goes down."_

Cato dried off and got dressed, applying one of his nicer colognes (of the many he'd brought with him) before waiting patiently on the couch for his clean little darling to return from her shower and join him. He smiled to himself and laid his head back, images of his little angel's pale chest covered in the product of pleasure she'd given him dancing through his mind. He loved how innocent her actions always were, and how he had the privilege of witnessing all of her ventures into such intimacy with another person. He thought only of his kitten as he waited on the couch, sighing contentedly.

Clove got out of the shower, drying off and examining herself in the mirror after wiping away a bit of the steam. She brushed her fingers across the lovebites on her neck, smiling lightly. She liked them very much; they made her feel owned by Cato in the most delightful way. She pulled on her little matching underwear set, her mind wandering to thoughts of Cato seeing said underwear later on. She smoothed lotion over her skin, rose scented, then slipped into her navy lace dress. She blow dried her hair, excited butterflies fluttering around in her stomach. The last time she'd been on a date was with her previous and only other boyfriend, and he'd tried to feel her up in a tacky diner after making her pay for the meal. She straightened her hair carefully once it was dry, the butterflies traveling from her stomach up to her throat. She paid very close attention to her makeup, wanting to look as nice as possible for her boyfriend (she still wasn't over the fact that he was hers) who waited downstairs.

Cato grinned and lifted his head, opening his eyes as his rose-scented doll perched next to him on the couch, feet tucked beneath her. His eyes drifted over her dress, the dark color standing out beautifully against her pale skin, then he looked back to her face.

"Stand up, baby, I want to get a better look at your dress," he said, smiling as she did as he wanted. He nodded slightly as she did a little twirl, her familiar blush appearing on her cheeks. He was always surprised by her clothing choices, and it amused him greatly. First, her miniscule pajamas, then the tight black dress at the very eventful party, a few shorts and almost-see-through top ensembles in between. Now she stood before him in a short lace dress that hit barely halfway down her thighs, the neckline quite modest in comparison to the revealing hem.

She tilted her head, biting her lip and looking down at him. Her lips grew into a smile as his hands found her waist, pulling her to sit sideways on his lap. She studied his face, tracing his jaw with a gentle finger. "Do you like my dress?" she asked, draping her free arm around his neck.

"I like it a lot," he said, nodding. "You're definitely a pretty kitten, and you look wonderful as usual." He stroked her sides lightly, feeling the lace of her dress beneath his fingers and grinning at her shy smile. He kissed her collarbone gently, then nipped at it with his teeth, eliciting a small moan from his sitting little bird.

"You like to bite your kitten," she murmured, her breath hitching as he bit her again.

"Yeah, because as I said, she likes it," he said, smirking and lifting his face to greet her eyes with his own.

She shifted in his lap, leaning down to kiss the corner of his mouth. "You gave me a lot of marks, you know," she said, pulling away enough to show him her neck, indicating with a finger. "I like them, though."

He raised an eyebrow. "You like them? Why?" He was amused; not many girls enjoyed large and prominently visible hickeys on their pale, smooth necks.

"I like them because they show that I'm yours," she said, smiling and absentmindedly tracing her index finger up and down her neck. "They make me think about how it felt, when you made them." Her fingers flitted across her own throat, light as feathers. "I want to give you one." Her voice was curious as she peered at him, her eyes shifting to his neck. "Can I?"

"As if you'd have to ask permission, angel," he chuckled. "You're mine, but it works both ways. I'm yours, too." He smiled as her still shy lips met his neck. She sucked softly, like a little, nervous fawn, her tongue venturing out to taste his clean skin. "You're going to have to suck harder than that if you want to leave a mark, darling."

She sucked much harder, biting him gently before pulling away. She smirked slightly at the low groan he emitted, as well as at the fair sized mark she'd created, all smeared with bright lipstick. "Better?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. She laughed quietly as he nodded, kissing his nose. "Goodie, goodie."

He chuckled. "You're the cutest, Clover." He studied her face, shaking his head with a slight smirk. "Your pretty red lipstick is all smudged now, though. You may want to fix it, kitten."

She blushed and brought a hand to her lips, then to his neck. "You may want to clean your neck, then," she said, imitating his tone. She wriggled out of his arms and scurried up the stairs, back to the bathroom to fix her makeup.

Katniss and Gale returned while Clove was upstairs touching up her lips, Katniss now dressed in a nice dark green top and black jeans. They sat down next to Cato on the couch, Katniss next to him.

"Nice hickey, but you may want to wipe the lipstick off," Katniss whispered in Cato's ear, laughing quietly. She laughed louder as he got up quickly, walking to the kitchen to grab a paper towel. She turned to Gale, talking softly. "How far do you think they've gone?" she asked, not able to hide her curiosity anymore. She had been wondering ever since she noticed him touching Clove under the table. She knew for a fact that Clove was a very innocent girl, or at least she had been. Now she had no idea.

"Hey, babe. I'm just getting used to the idea of them being together, I don't particularly want to entertain the idea of them doing anything more than kissing. It's just...she's my baby sister. I don't want to think about her like that."

Katniss raised an eyebrow. "So you're not curious?"

"Trust me, I am. I just don't really want to know. I wonder, but I feel like if I knew then I'd like, pass out or something." He shook his head, not wanting to think about his sister engaging in more than PG activities with his best friend. He knew Cato well, and in high school, during the times when he and Glimmer were broken up, he knew Cato took quite a few girls to bed. He also knew Cato had changed a lot, and matured, but it wasn't likely that he'd lost his desire for sex. No matter how complicated Cato seemed, he was still a man.

Cato caught the end of their conversation from the kitchen, smirking to himself. Gale would surely not appreciate the details of what Cato had done to his little sister, or what the once daisy-fresh girl had done to him. He returned to the couch, subconsciously rubbing his neck.

"So, what exactly is the plan for this double date?" he asked, his attention turning to the stairs as his kitten descended them again, lipstick in hand. He put his arm around her shoulders as she sat next to him, tucking her feet beneath her again.

"I think food then a movie, yeah?" Katniss said, looking at Gale.

Gale nodded. "There's a nice new place right by the movie theater, then we'll all go see the new horror that's playing. Sound good?"

Clove nodded and peered up at Cato, who nodded as well. She still felt nervous, but in the most excited way possible. She was going out on a date with Cato, and they were officially boyfriend and girlfriend. She was unbelievably happy.

The group left the house, after Clove slipped on her grey heels (much to Cato's liking) and they all piled into Gale's car. Katniss took the passenger seat, leaving Cato and Clove together in the back.

Cato slipped his arm around his angel's waist and kissed the side of her head, smiling at the smell of her perfume. He ran his fingers through her hair with his free hand, sighing and grinning down at her.

Gale turned up the radio, chuckling as his sister started singing along much to the amusement of Cato and Katniss as well.

"One for the money, and two for the show. I love you honey, I'm ready, I'm ready to go. How do you get that way? I don't know. You're screwed up and brilliant, look like a million dollar man, so why is my heart broke?" she sang, moving her hips in her seat.

"You like this song, Clo?" Gale asked, smirking at her in the rearview mirror.

She nodded, grinning as the song ended. She turned to Cato and kissed his cheek softly, sighing. "It's a good song, makes me feel like a stripper," she said, giggling as Cato's mouth gaped open.

She never ceased to surprise Cato. One minute she'd be looking up at him, biting her lip with her eyes wide as saucers, unsure and innocent. The next minute she'd be guzzling alcohol in a tight dress, or letting him touch her in the shower, perhaps talking about stripping. It was baffling.

"Clover, I don't think you have the capacity to feel like a stripper," Katniss said, shaking her head with a smirk.

"Yeah, Clo, honestly," Gale said, laughing. "That's cute, though."

"I'd do anything to see you strip, kitten," Cato whispered in her ear, a smile on his lips. "And I really do love your voice."

She blushed (not surprisingly) and Katniss noticed, raising an eyebrow.

"Keep it PG, you two," she said, feigning a stern attitude and pointing a finger at Cato.

Clove giggled, shaking her head and grabbing Cato's face to whisper a response in his ear. "I don't know how to strip. But I would if I could, for you. And thanks, I'll probably sing for you sometime." She let go of his face and laughed quietly, biting her lip. "And stop looking at me like that," she added, swatting his arm.

He'd been raising his eyebrows, mouth still slightly open as she whispered to him. He chuckled when she hit him, looking down. For the rest of the ride he looked out the window, trying to calm down a growing issue in his pants that had begun the moment the word 'stripper' left his innocent little girl's lips.

She rested her head against his arm, only lifting it when they pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. The group got out of the car, Cato holding Clove's waist as they walked to the front door. Gale let Katniss in first, then Cato held the door for his Clover, smiling and following her inside.

They sat in a booth towards the back of the restaurant, Cato and Clove on one side and Gale and Katniss on the other.

"This place is really expensive," Clove said with a slight frown, looking over the menu. She glanced at Cato, biting her lip. She didn't want to order something that cost too much, and she definitely didn't want to order too much food to eat. She scanned the menu for something practical, kneading her lip.

"Baby, don't worry," Cato said, shaking his head. "Get whatever you want, I'm paying. And I don't mind."

She nodded slightly, deciding on a fancy sounding salad. She grinned slightly, shaking her head as Katniss ordered one of the most expensive things on the menu, then the waitress turned to her. She blushed furiously as Cato placed his hand on her thigh, caressing her skin gently as she tried to order her food.

"I'll have the, um," she began, finding it difficult to focus on her order when Cato was playing with the hem of her dress under the table. "This," she mumbled, pointing at the salad on the menu. The waitress raised a curious eyebrow but didn't say anything, writing down her order and taking the menu from her hands.

Cato inched his hand slowly up his little flower's bare thigh as he placed his own order and her brother placed his. When the waitress left he glanced down at his girl, who was blushing intensely and very intently staring at her silverware with her bottom lip between her teeth.

He leaned over to whisper in her ear, an unconcealable smirk on his face. "Oh kitty, just wait. You couldn't even guess what I'm going to do to you at the movies," he whispers, his fingers barely brushing the edge of her panties. He chuckles before pulling away and turning his attention to the others at the table, who luckily hadn't noticed his hushed promise.

Clove's heart was beating quickly, and she buried her face in her hands. Her mind was running wild. What could Cato possibly think they were going to do at the movies? Near other people, in a public place. She couldn't handle the idea. It was going to be a long dinner, she could already tell.

"Clover, you alright?" Katniss asked, noticing the girl's deeply embarrassed state. "Bathroom, come with me," Clove said, lifting her face for a moment and hopping out of the booth, dragging Katniss with her to the luckily empty restroom.

"Is everything okay?" Katniss asked, slightly concerned. She studied Clove's face, unable to read her expression. "Did he do something?"

Clove took a breath, running her fingers through her hair. "Have you ever done anything sexual in a movie theater?" she asked, her voice hushed and her words coming fast.

"Wait, what?" Katniss asked, chuckling. "What did he say to you, Clove?"

"It doesn't matter, just answer my question," she said seriously, shaking her head. She just wanted to know if it was a common thing for people to go further than kissing at the movies, and if he was being serious.

"Well, yeah, I have. It's pretty fun, actually, once you get over being scared shitless that someone will see you," she says, laughing. "Clo, what have you gotten yourself into?"

"I have no idea," Clove said, shrugging. She started to laugh, hugging the older girl. "I have no idea what I'm doing, at all."

Katniss sighed, hugging her back. "Tell me if you need anything, okay? You can always ask me for help. I'm looking out for you." She rubbed her back lightly, kissing the top of her head.

Cato couldn't help but laugh as Clove and Katniss ran off, shaking his head and running a hand through his hair.

"Girls are so weird," Gale said, watching them disappear around the corner to the restroom. "Did you say something to Clove?"

Cato shrugged. "We were just talking about the movie and she jumped up, I don't know. Girls are weird," he agreed. He was way too excited to go to the movies with his darling, and to give her much more than just a cheesy horror film and a few kisses.

The girls soon returned from the restroom, Clove's face less flushed. Katniss sat down next to Gale again, grinning to herself. She knew she should be more concerned that her boyfriends fifteen year old sister was asking her about engaging in sexual activity in public places, but she couldn't help but find it amusing. Cato was a good guy, and he wasn't an idiot. She didn't think he would do something insane in the same movie theater as Gale.

Clove looked at Cato as she sat down again, the butterflies in her throat coming back to life as his eyes gazed down at her, drifting over her body before returning back to the couple across the table.

They all chatted about miscellaneous things as they waited for their food, Katniss sighing with relief as the waitress appeared with platters of steaming food.

Clove ate slowly, barely making it halfway through her salad before everyone else finished their meals. She was so nervous, and excited, and confused by Cato's whisper in her ear that it was hard for her to eat. She pushed her plate away and took a sip of water, then set it down with a quiet sigh.

"Clo, you didn't eat much," Gale said, frowning slightly. She hadn't been eating a lot the past few months, and he didn't like it. He worried about her, knowing her self esteem was terribly low and she had dealt with serious eating issues through middle school and freshman year.

She looked up at him, shaking her head slightly. "I wasn't very hungry," she mumbled, shrugging slightly. She ignored his worried stare and took another sip of water as the waitress dropped off the check at the table.

Cato and Gale both handed over their credit cards as soon as the waitress appeared, asking her to split the bill between the two. Once she returned, handing each of the men their respective cards, the group left for the movies. Clove stayed silent the whole car ride, and as she held Cato's hand while they purchased tickets.

Gale leant down to whisper to Clove as they stood in line for snacks, a serious look on his face. "Clo, please eat something," he said softly, a hand on her shoulder. He smiled slightly as she nodded, agreeing to get a soft pretzel.

Cato carried her pretzel for her, as well as a large Diet Coke to share in the crook of his elbow. "We're going to go sit up at the top," Cato said as they entered the theater, squeezing Clove's hand.

"Alright, we'll be in the middle" Gale said, nodding and then pulling Cato aside. "Can you make sure she finishes the pretzel?" he asked quietly. "I'll explain later, she just needs to eat."

Cato nodded, confused but not questioning him. He led Clove up to the farthest corner of the very top row, a grin on his face. He didn't let go of her hand as she sat next to him and he handed her the pretzel, then placed their drink in the cupholder between them. For the first fifteen minutes or so of the movie (which seemed pretty typical in his opinion) he rubbed the back of her hand, glancing over occasionally to see if she was eating the pretzel. He smiled as he looked over to see she'd finished, then let go of her hand, moving their drink to the ground and raising the armrest.

"Come here, kitten," he said quietly, not wanting to disturb the few people in the row in front of him.

She smiled slightly as his arm encircled her waist, pulling her to sit on his left leg. She gasped softly as his lips met her neck, but she soon relaxed as he kissed her skin again. "You've barely talked to me at all tonight, angel. What's that about?" he whispered, moving his lips to lightly kiss beneath her ear.

She took a breath. "I was nervous," she mumbled softly, suppressing a moan as he bit her neck then trailed his tongue over the slight indentations made by his teeth.

"Nervous about what?" he breathed, smiling as his breath tickled her ear. He was fully aware of what she was nervous about; he knew that what he'd said about what he was going to do to her at the movies made her feel very flustered. He moved his free hand to her thigh, pushing her dress up slightly as his fingers traces patterns against her skin.

"What you're going to do to me," she whispered, shutting her eyes as his fingers grew dangerously closer to the front of her panties. She gripped his knee as he made contact with her most sensitive point, pressing hard on her bundle of nerves.

"What is it with you and lace?" he asked quietly, to which she shrugged. He chuckled slightly, deciding she was ready to find out what he'd had in store for her, and he kissed her cheek softly before whispering in her ear once again, this time his voice low and gruff. "Sit on the edge of my knee, baby."

She nodded slightly, shifting so that she sat with her own knees towards his right leg, her bottom barely resting on his knee. "Like this?" she whispered, her heart beating rapidly.

"Perfect," he murmured, nodding slightly and bringing his right hand between her legs. His other arm remained securely around her waist as he trailed his middle finger across her slit, feeling a dampness through her panties. He then pushed her panties aside, sliding his finger inside of her.

Her mind was going completely wild. She was in the back row of a movie theater, a movie theater that her own brother was in, and she was sitting on the edge of Cato's knee with his finger buried deep inside of her. She kept her eyes shut and her lip between her teeth, her hands finding their way to his right leg and holding on tightly.

He began bouncing his knee up and down quickly, his thumb hitting her clit each time her body moved back down. He curled and twisted his finger inside of her, smirking to himself as she let out a low, throaty groan.

"Shhhh, kitten, people are trying to watch the movie," he whispered, making a point of bouncing his knee a little higher.

It took all of her energy to stay relatively quiet, occasionally letting out a mewl of pleasure against her will. Each time his heel fell back to the floor she felt his finger hit something wonderful inside of her, making her writhe on the edge of his knee. She gritted her teeth as he curled his finger and hit her clit once again, making her let out a loud sigh.

He could feel her beginning to tighten around him and he went even faster with his knee, his finger going as far into her as possible. He smiled as she squirmed in his grasp, her attempts at quieting her moans becoming more and more futile. He wouldn't be surprised if the people sitting in front of them turned around, to be honest.

Just as the rest of the theater screamed at an apparently startling moment in the film, Clove climaxed spectacularly, muttering quite a few very lovely explicit phrases (Fuck / Jesus fucking Christ / oh fuck, Cato). She could have melted, or perhaps passed out as a woman turned around to shush her, though not taking notice of her compromising position.

"I told you to be quiet," Cato said, removing his finger from her with a massive grin.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews :') For those of you that review frequently, trust me, I notice. This chapter is different than most of the others, a bit more revealed of Clove as a character. I sincerely hope you like it, and please review!**

_"Oh sister_

_What's wrong with your mind?_

_You used to be so strong and stable_

_My sister_

_What made you fall from grace?_

_I'm sorry that I was not there to catch you."_

It had been two hours since Clove had screamed those aforementioned explicit phrases in the movie theater, but as she sat in the car with Cato's arm around her, his fingers repeatedly stroking the seam of her dress, her mind was fixated on what he'd done to her. She leaned against his arm, sighing as she reveled in the delicious memory of him pleasuring her (very creatively) as others gasped in their seats, just for other reasons. She crossed her legs tightly for the second half of the ride home, looking out the window and trying to calm down the odd, needy feelings blossoming in her lower half.

Cato watched his little one squirming slightly in her seat, confused as to the reason why. He was also confused by the issue of the pretzel, and why it was so important for her to eat it. He continued stroking her side as they drove, trying to figure her out. He knew her well in a sense of her body, what made her blush and moan and whisper his name, but he still felt far from her. He didn't know why she didn't particularly agree with his compliments, or what was inside the journal he'd seen on her bedside table when he'd been with her in her room. He didn't know why she was so nervous and shy like an unsure child with him but with her brother or Katniss she was different. Once Galled pulled the car into the driveway, Cato opened the door for his little darling, who wore an expression he couldn't read. She looked flushed and uncomfortable, but not unhappy at all. He raised an eyebrow at her curiously, wondering if she was feeling alright.

She leaned up and whispered in his ear, her voice low and breathy. "I got so turned on in the car that I almost cried." She turned away from him quickly and rushed inside, already on the way up to her room as the others made their way to the doorstep.

Cato gaped at her in surprise for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck as he turned back to Gale.

"Cato, I need to talk to you, about that thing earlier," Gale said, glancing for a moment at Clove as she dashed into the house.

"Sure, of course," Cato said, remembering that Gale had intended to explain what he'd meant earlier about Clove needing to finish the soft pretzel.

Katniss took the hint and went inside the house, eager to get the details of the movie theater from Clove. She took off her shoes and walked into the kitchen, looking through the cupboard for a while and finding something to snack on, then grabbed a glass of water. She finished her snack then traipsed up the stairs.

"Freckles, it's me, let me in," she said, knocking lightly on the girl's locked bedroom door.

"Just a moment," Clove called, her voice slightly wobbly. She was sprawled on her bed with her dress hiked up and her panties yanked down, rubbing herself desperately in an effort to relieve the overwhelming sense of need she'd been trying to ignore the whole car ride home. She had never touched herself before; all the times in her life she'd been in such a state that she was craving such intimate stimulation she was with Cato, and he always satisfied her to a point of unparalleled bliss. She rubbed her bundle of nerves hard and fast, biting her lip and squeezing her eyes shut. She arched her back as she finally climaxed, her heart beating quickly and her stomach jumping nervously at the thought of Katniss right outside of her door.

"Okay, Clo, you really need to give me some details," Katniss said once Clove opened the door for her. "First off, what did he do at the movies?" She sat down on the girl's bed, looking at her expectantly.

Clove flopped down on the bed next to her, lying on her back with her hands on her stomach and emitting a long sigh. "It was insane, Katniss. This whole thing is so insane and I can't handle it."

Katniss frowned slightly. "Insane in a good way or a bad way?" She studied Clove's face, biting her lip.

"In a good way," Clove whispered, laughing slightly. "In such a good way that it's terrifying."

"Aw, little Clover's completely in love," Katniss said, smiling and twirling a strand of Clove's hair around her finger. She just watched her for a minute, wondering how this tiny girl she'd known for three years, the length of her relationship with Gale, had suddenly fallen head over heels for someone she would have never in her wildest dreams matched the girl with. Cato had a reputation in high school, one that didn't quite match up with Clove's naive personality. He'd definitely changed, but he'd changed Clove as well. "If you didn't want him to do something, would you tell him?"

Clove frowned slightly. "I'd let him do anything he wanted, I think. I always like the things he does..."

"What did he do at the movies, then?" She was dying to know, and she figured it would help her understand just how deep into this crazy situation Clove had gotten herself. She knew Clove was innocent, or at least had been before Cato came along and claimed her as his own.

Clove took a breath, flushing. "He kissed me a little, then he started touching me, then he told me to sit on the edge of his knee." She took a deep breath, feeling suddenly embarrassed. She'd never talked about anything sexual that had actually involved her before, and it was making her heart beat quickly. "Um...he started bouncing his knee up and down, like..."

"Like, while his finger was inside of you?" Katniss asked, amused by the whole story, as well as Clove's obvious discomfort at talking about the subject. It sounded like pretty kinky stuff to do in a public place, which surprised her to be coming from the small brunette who lay next to her with her hands now covering her perpetually blushing face.

"Yeah," Clove said softly, nodding her head with her face still effectively hidden. "It was absolutely insane, Kat. I don't know how he...how he does what he does, to be honest."

Katniss laughed quietly, stroking Clove's hair that was splayed on the pillow beside her. "You're still a virgin, right?" After hearing what Cato was willing to do with her in a crowded movie theater, she had no idea what the two were getting up to behind closed doors.

Clove nodded vigorously, taking her hands away from her face and biting her lip. "I'm not ready for that, at all. I don't even know if I'm ready for what we're doing right now. I don't know anything at all."

"He's a lot older than you. He's been with other girls, and now he's with you. For you, this is your first time experiencing everything. I'm disregarding your weird boyfriend from last year, he doesn't count as anything at all. It's scary for you now, trust me, I know."

Clove nodded, sitting up slightly. "You've felt this way too, right? Like someone could shatter you with one touch because you're so completely theirs?" she asked, although she doubted Katniss had ever wandered as deep into wonderland as she had. She doubted that Katniss had ever felt so disarmed and confused and contented and scared all at the same time, seeing everything through rose tinted glasses and having tea with the maddest hatter in the world.

Katniss nodded, smiling. "Clo, just don't rush too much, okay? It's all exciting and new, and he loves you a lot. I just don't want you to give it all up if you're not ready. You're basically my baby sister, and I care about you a lot." She kissed her cheek gently and got off of the bed, running a hand through her hair. "You can always talk to me, freckles," she said, shutting the door as she left the room.

Gale had stayed outside with Cato when the girls went inside, wanting to speak with him in private. "Did she finish the pretzel?" he asked, wanting to get that detail out of the way first and foremost.

"Yeah, she did," Cato said, nodding. He was still confused as to what exactly the conversation was about, or why Gale looked so serious, and it worried him.

"I don't know if she wants me to tell you this," Gale began, nervously toying with the hem of his shirt. "I'm actually positive she doesn't, but as someone who cares about her a lot, you should know what's going on." He watched Cato's face, noticing his worry, and took a deep breath. "She was suffering from an eating disorder a little while ago, we thought she was better but now it seems like she may be relapsing. She's started eating less again...I don't know, I guess I just want you to keep an eye on her when you can."

Cato nodded, a bit delayed. He stayed silent, trying to process the information. His little doll had monsters in her head; the thought was terrifying to him, and it broke his heart. "You think she'd talk to me about it?" he asked, his voice weak.

"I honestly don't know, she's really sensitive about it. You can try, though, I need to know if she's alright or if I should tell our parents," Gale said. He hated that his sister had to deal with something so awful, and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't understand it. He just wanted her to be a happy girl, but he'd seen her crumble under the stress and sadness that riddled her brain when her disorder was at it's worst. He thought she was doing a lot better, and he hoped it was true.

Cato nodded again, running a hand through his hair. "I'll go talk to her now," he said, opening the front door and making his way upstairs to his angel's room. He knocked softly on her closed door, trying to think of a way to bring up the fragile subject of her past, or perhaps her present.

Clove sat up in bed, having changed into a baggy sweatshirt and a pair of pajama shorts and lying down with a book once Katniss went back downstairs. "Come in," she called, smiling slightly as Cato entered, but her smile soon faltered as she saw a pained expression on his face. "What's wrong, what happened?" she asked, furrowing her brow and closing her book.

He walked to her bed and sat down, pulling her into the comfortable spot in his lap that she frequently occupied. He held her in silence for a while, his mind fuzzy; he wasn't confused in the usually light and airy way he was usually around her, he was confused in a painful way, like his head was filled with prickly stems of dying roses that he couldn't save in time.

"Life hasn't treated you fairly, has it, darling?" he asked softly, looking into her eyes.

Her heart started to beat quickly with dread. "What are you referring to?" she asked in a whisper. She had a sinking feeling deep in her stomach, like he'd found out about the skeletons in her closet whose bones creaked with the frightening desire to come out once again.

"Gale told me you've had troubles with eating," he mumbled, not knowing how to put it. He watched as her face turned to one of hurt, and he cursed himself for causing it.

"Why would he tell you about that? Is he trying to make you leave me?" she asked, feeling tears stinging in her eyes. "That's not fair." She hated how she was, how her mind tried to trick her into thinking that eating until she was full was bad, and that people loved her more when she was thin as a rail. They cared more when she was skinnier, she could see that when she was at her smallest and people checked in on her frequently, but she hated when people knew; it humiliated her and made her feel small on the inside.

He frowned, squeezing his eyes shut. "Princess, please don't cry. He's not trying to make me leave you, I never would. He's just worried it's happening again, is all," he said, trying to keep his voice level though his mind was not level at all. He felt terrible already for bringing it up and making her feel victimized, but he had told Gale he'd speak with her about it.

She sniffled, nodding slightly. "I guess you could say life has treated me pretty unfairly," she mumbled. She really didn't want to be having this conversation. She wanted to go back to the pretty part of wonderland, where the mad hatter didn't know about the skeletons. But she was in the scary part, and she knew the tea parties would be different now. She knew even the silly mad hatter would be counting the bites of food she took.

"Are you feeling bad again?" he asked, reaching up with one hand to brush a stray tear from her cheek. He didn't know how to go about things like this at all, and he was scared he'd say something wrong to upset her further.

Initially she shook her head, not wanting to admit that she was indeed feeling bad again. It had started out as a small thought that she could push away, but the thought was slowly growing back into many thoughts, like a poisonous fungus. She took a quiet breath, shutting her eyes and letting another tear roll down her cheek. "Actually, I'm not sure," she whispered. "I just don't have much of an appetite lately."

He nodded slowly, rubbing her lower back with small circular patterns. "Kitten, you can trust me. Please, tell me if it's more than that." He was fairly certain she wasn't telling the whole truth, but he didn't want to pry or accuse and lose her trust so early on.

She sighed, sniffling again. "I'm fine," she whispered, knowing she wasn't. She knew she wasn't eating enough, and she knew she'd started losing weight again, but she didn't want to bring Cato into any of it at all. "I really am fine, I'll eat more."

Cato wanted to believe her so badly that he almost convinced himself to, but he just couldn't. Nevertheless he nodded, kissing her cheek softly. He could tell she was struggling, fighting with herself. He didn't speak of it any more as he sat, holding her as silent tears rolled down her cheeks.

She cried because Cato had called her perfect, and now he knew for a fact that she wasn't. She cried because she hated lying to him, and she hated worrying her brother. She cried because she was scared that he would stop loving her, and she cried because she hadn't let anyone see her cry in so long that her tears never seemed to end.

Cato didn't leave her room that night and laid down with her curled against him, tears soaking through his shirt. He rubbed her back until he heard her breathing even out, then he drifted off himself. He held her tightly to him the entire night, trying to protect her from things he had no control over.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Here's another long chapter, because I love you guys so much :* Thanks once again for the reviews! I'm sorry to those of you that are anxiously awaiting the loss of Clove's virginity, but it'll happen in due time. This chapter contains some important plot-ish things, so you definitely won't want to skip ;)**

_"Pick it up, pick it all up._

_And start again._

_You've got a second chance,_

_you could go home._

_Escape it all._

_It's just irrelevant."_

Cato woke up early the next morning, a sad smile on his face as he took in his fragile girl whose tear stained cheek rested in the crook of his elbow. She looked so peaceful in her sleep, the way her lips were parted ever so slightly and her breaths came in a slow, easy rhythm. He thought as he watched her, about how such a sweet, lovely girl could struggle with such a horrible problem. He didn't know what evil little thoughts had snuck their way into her mind, making her see herself in a way that wasn't at all correct. He thought back to when Gale had left the two of them alone in the house, and he'd called his little one perfect as they sat on the couch. She'd denied it, in the soft way she did, and he'd dismissed it as her apparent shyness, or nerves, or just the fact that she was a fifteen year old girl and she was perhaps going through a phase of low self confidence. He had no idea that she truly didn't accept being viewed as perfect in his eyes, or anyone else's. He had no way of knowing how deep down her disbelief was, and how much it affected her to feel like she was being lied to.

Clove woke up around twenty minutes after Cato, yawning quietly and blinking her eyes which were puffy from the night's tears, then kissed his neck gently. She sighed against his skin, not wanting to look him in the eyes, or look at him at all. She felt like once she did she would lose the wonderful fantasy she'd been in, where she was his perfect little girl and he was her wonderful man. He'd been the first person in her life who showed care for her without knowing her flaws; he'd seen a desirable version of herself that she'd shown him in the hope that she'd never have to reveal anything more. She didn't enjoy being pitied, and she definitely didn't enjoy being watched as she ate (or didn't eat). She liked the focus to be on happier things, so she could keep the bad things to herself and try to deal with them on her own.

"Morning, princess," he whispered, drumming his fingertips lightly on her lower back. He frowned slightly as she didn't respond, just staying still in his arms. He held her a bit longer, tracing tiny shapes on the material of her sweatshirt, then sighed. "Would you like me to go?"

She nodded slowly, squeezing her eyes shut. She swallowed back a small sob as she felt his warmth leave her and her head dropped to her pillow, listening to his tentative footsteps as he crept from her room and shut the door behind him. She buried her face in her pillow, pressing the sides to cover her ears with her hands. She wanted to disappear completely, or dissolve, or just float away. She screamed into her pillowcase, in anger at her brother for telling Cato; though the anger was really at herself for being a source of concern in the first place. She just wanted to be Cato's perfect princess, his pretty angel, his darling sweetheart, and sit with him and kiss him and let him know her in every physical way, because it made them both so happy. Everything was perfect, perfect, perfect, just as she'd wanted it to be. Now there was a problem that he felt he needed to take care of, or look out for, or fix. She didn't want him to spend his time fixing her. She cried hard, because she already knew that would be the very case.

Cato walked downstairs, feeling completely horrible. He had no idea how to fix what he'd done, and he was still befuddled as to what exactly it was that had happened. He knew it wasn't his fault, but he'd heard her pained, choked sob as he left her bed, and it hurt him. It hurt him because he had no idea what he could do or say to make her feel as happy as she'd appeared to be for the past few days. He saw Gale in the kitchen making coffee and walked to where he stood, leaning against the counter.

"Morning," Gale said when Cato entered the kitchen, reaching into the cabinet for a coffee mug. "Want a cup?"

"Yeah, thanks," Cato said, nodding and taking a deep breath. "So, I talked to Clove last night about the whole...eating thing," he said, graciously accepting the hot cup of coffee that Gale handed him.

"Did she talk back?" Gale asked, knowing that the subject of her eating was one that Clove didn't handle well. When the problem wasn't spoken about, she was a nice, funny, thoughtful girl. She read poems and shared them with their family at dinner, or painted pictures of flowers and hung them in her room, or sang along to all of her favorite songs on the radio. But when her issues were brought to the surface, she shut down. She didn't like opening up about things that troubled her.

"She cried, a lot. But she said she was fine. I don't know, Gale. I'm not sure if I believe that," Cato said, staring into the black pool of his coffee. "I don't think she would have been so offended that I asked if there was nothing wrong, you know?"

"What do you mean offended?" Gale asked, frowning.

"She thought you were trying to get me to leave her," Cato said, looking over to his friend whose eyes were downcast into his drink as well. "She made it sound like you weren't on her side, like you were trying to get her in trouble."

Gale took a deep breath, shutting his eyes for a moment. "That's what happened the first time I found out about all this. I- I found diet pills in her desk drawer, when I was looking for a phone charger...She was so mad when she came into her room and saw me, Cato, it was terrifying. She screamed at me, and she'd never, ever yelled like that before. She punched me, even. She cried when I flushed the pills down the toilet, then she locked herself in her room. I didn't know what to do, so I told our parents, and she didn't speak to me for a week. She didn't speak to anyone, really."

Cato's stomach dropped to his toes as Gale mentioned the pills. He shook his head as the story continued, his heart shattering even further for his princess. "Has she used them since?" he asked, taking a long sip of his coffee, which was much too hot.

"Not that I know of. Our parents started checking her drawer every day for a while, while she was at school. I don't know when they last checked, but I...I don't know. I really don't know how bad it is now, I guess. I thought she was doing so well."

Cato nodded, sighing. "I think you should talk to your parents. Maybe she'll be able to tell them what's going on, exactly."

The two stayed in the kitchen in silence as they drank their coffee, each thinking about the girl who remained in her room upstairs. Gale had driven Katniss home that morning, so it was just the three of them, Gale, Cato, and Clove, in the house until the siblings' parents returned.

Clove stopped crying eventually but remained beneath her covers, falling back to sleep for an hour on so, curled up around her pillow like a child. She stood up upon awakening and stretched her back before walking to her dresser and pulling out a pair of spandex shorts and a black tank top, deciding to go for a jog after having a shower. She just wanted to get out of the house; she felt suffocated and anxious and she didn't want to be in such an awful mood when her parents arrived home from their trip. She entered the bathroom and locked the door before turning the shower faucet to it's hottest temperature and letting the bathroom fill with steam. She undressed and stood before the clouded mirror, biting her lip. she looked like a ghost, her pale body only a fuzzy silhouette in the steam obscured glass. She liked it better that way, when she couldn't see her flaws as clearly.

Cato and Gale busied themselves with cleaning up the house as Clove showered, trying to keep their minds off of the lost girl that each of them cared about most. They tackled the kitchen first, then cleaned up the living room and the downstairs bathroom. Cato tried not to focus too much on his Clover, but he was unsuccessful. His mind went in unproductive circles, making him more unsettled than he already was by the monsters in his own darling's head. He turned around quickly as he heard her coming down the stairs, his eyes scanning over her. He took in her attire, her tiny black shorts and top contrasting strongly against her pale skin. Her hair was slicked back into a high ponytail that swung behind her as she quickly made her way down the stairs, and her eyes were still puffy and red. He watched her as she put on her running shoes, tying them carefully, his eyes still on her as she grabbed a $20 bill from her purse and slipped it, folded, into the waistband of her shorts.

"Clo, are you going out?" Gale asked, walking towards her with a cautious expression. He really didn't want to set her off, but he was worried and she seemed very intent on getting out of the house.

"Yes," she said, her voice quiet and monotonous and her eyes towards her feet. "I'm going for a run. I'm not taking my phone, I'll be back before mom and dad get home." She left hastily, the front door swinging shut behind her. She started running, houses and trees a blur as she made her way out of the neighborhood, heading downtown. She slowed down as she made it to a small tea shop, one of her favorite places to go when she didn't feel like talking to anyone. She ordered a pot of green tea and sat in the far corner, holding her face in her hands as she waited for her tea to arrive.

Gale grew worried as an hour and a half went by without Clove returning home. She usually only ran through the neighborhood, taking at most 45 minutes. Since she didn't take her phone, he had no way of checking to see if she was alright. He knew his parents would be home soon, and if Clove wasn't home he was certain they'd be upset at him for not keeping an eye on her.

"Cato, come on. We're going to go pick her up," he said, grabbing his keys and slipping on his shoes. "I think I know where she is."

Clove looked up, alarmed as Cato and Gale entered the tea shop. "What are you doing here?" she asked quietly, glancing towards the man behind the counter.

"Clo, come on, we're going home," Gale said quietly as Cato walked to her table.

Cato crouched next to her, finding her hand with his. "Baby, let's go home. Your parents are almost back, they'll want to see you," he murmured, brushing his thumb against the back of her hand. He was relieved when she nodded and stood up, squeezing his hand.

Clove rested her head on Cato's chest as Gale drove them home, tracing small patterns with her finger. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, knowing they were both probably worried. "I just wanted to be alone for a while."

Gale sighed. "I know, Clover, you were just gone for a while. Don't be sorry," he said, glad he'd been correct about her location.

Clove disappeared upstairs for a while once the group returned home, emerging from her room only as she heard the familiar sound of his father's car pulling into the driveway. She bounded down the stairs and greeted her parents with a smile that didn't reach her eyes, the evidence of her tears hidden with eyeliner and thick mascara.

"Cato, you're here!" Mrs. Rusakova exclaimed, beaming up at the blonde as she hugged her daughter tightly.

"Yeah, Gale said it would be fine if I stick around here for a while, while I'm in town," Cato said, nodding with a slight smile.

"You're always welcome in our home," said Mr. Rusakov, clapping him on the shoulder with a strong hand. He truly liked Cato and saw him as an interesting, intelligent, and respectable young man. He was intrigued by hiss sudden departure to Europe after graduation, and impressed that he handled being on his own so well.

They all chatted for a while, each of the three younger people in the house asking polite questions regarding the trip. They eventually found themselves all seated on the couch, Mr. Rusakov having brought back a bottle of wine to share with everybody (excluding Clove, naturally). He opened the bottle and poured a glass for himself, his wife, and the two boys seated with a silent Clove between them.

"So, Victor," Cato said, taking a sip of wine and turning his attention towards Clove's father. "There's something I'd like to tell you, as well as Eva," he began, figuring he might as well address he and Clove's relationship at a point when everyone was in a good mood.

"Go ahead," Victor said with a nod, smiling warmly at the blonde as he set down his glass.

"Well, I'd like to ask something rather than tell, actually," he said, taking a breath. "I'm asking your permission to date Clove." He swallowed, so nervous he couldn't even place his emotions as Eva squealed with glee.

"Oh, how wonderful that would be!" the brunette woman said, grinning widely. "Vic, what do you think?" She absolutely loved Cato, and though she would never say so, she would be more than thrilled if he and Clove were married someday.

Victor pondered for a moment. "Cato, my only qualm would be the whole age situation," he said. "It's not a particularly responsible decision for a father to allow his daughter to be in a relationship with a man while she is just a child. I trust you understand my reservations?" He continued as Cato nodded. "I, however, would be a hypocrite if I forbade it, due to the fact that Eva and I were married when she was just sixteen and I was 23. So yes, you two may be together, but please, Cato, don't give me any reasons to change my mind."

Clove blushed (not surprisingly) as Cato asked her parents permission to date her, to have her as his own. She hadn't expected what her father said and a genuine smile spread across her lips, relieve flooding through her. She sighed happily as Cato put an arm around her shoulder and continued speaking to her parents, charming them to a state that would keep her safe in his arms for quite a while. She didn't speak much for the rest of the night, trying to occupy her thoughts with her love, now approved by her parents as well as Gale. She was still upset, of course, by the fact that he knew her secrets, but she was overwhelmingly glad that he still wanted her. She tried desperately to ignore his eyes as they lingered on her fork during dinner, knowing he was carefully watching each bite of food it raised to her lips. She ate for him, finishing almost everything on her plate in an effort to please him, to make him believe she wasn't going back to the bad, bad place Gale had told him about.

Cato was glad when victor and Eva went off to bed, exhausted from their flight and the long day they'd had. Gale stayed downstairs as Cato carried Clove up to her room, allowing the two time to be alone, in a much happier state than before. Cato laid his princess down on her bed, a small smile on his lips as he gazed at her small form.

"Kitten, I'll always be here," he said softly, running a hand from her ribs down to her hip. "I'll never, ever leave, no matter what. I love you so much, baby, I'll never let you go." He leaned down and kissed her gently, a bit surprised as she looped her arms around his neck and opened her mouth just enough for him to slip his tongue inside.

She kissed him passionately, with everything she had. She never wanted to lose the feeling she had when she was with him like this. She let him explore her mouth with his tongue, moaning quietly as he sucked on her bottom lip. "I love you, too," she breathed. "I'm glad I'm yours."

He only broke the kiss to climb into bed with her, his hand at the small of her back beneath the hem of her top. "Clover, I love you everywhere," he whispered, trailing a finger across the waistband of her shorts. He kissed her neck softly, the fingers of his free hand reaching to dance across her collarbone. "I love you here," he whispered before pressing a soft kiss right below her earlobe. He moved his hand down to her chest, lightly tracing his index finger beneath the curve of her breast. "I love you here," he said once more, smiling slightly. He continued caressing her body, expressing his love for each of her features.

She gasped quietly as his hand found it's way between her thighs, cupping her through her shorts. She ground ever so slightly against his hand, his touch taking her back to the bright, warm, sunny wonderland she'd come to crave.

"And I love you here, kitten, I love you so much right here." He slid his hand past the waistband of both her shorts and her panties, quickly finding her bundle of nerves with his middle finger. He rubbed her slowly and gently, knowing by her tiny mewls of pleasure that she was forgetting her troubles, even if just for a moment. "I love you here because it makes you feel good, and that's all I want for you, angel. I want you to feel good. I never want you to feel bad," he murmured, kissing her neck again.

She nodded slightly, arching her back as she began feeling the slow build of pleasure beginning deep in her lower abdomen. He was going tantalizingly slow, giving her the ability to drink in every delicious moment of his expert fondling. She held him tightly as her climax erupted slowly throughout her body, causing her toes to curl and his name to escape her throat.

He stayed in her bed again that night, but there were no tears. He kissed her to sleep this time, his lips still lightly brushing over her skin as she dropped off into dormancy.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Your reviews make me very happy :D Please keep reviewing, because that's what keeps me updating so fast. Once again I hope you enjoy this chapter, and I hope you're enjoying seeing more of Clove than previously revealed.**

_"You've got a warm heart,_

_you've got a beautiful brain._

_But it's disintegrating,_

_from all the medicine."_

Gale woke up early to talk to his parents, knowing that his mother had pilates at 9 and his father never liked to sleep in before work. He wanted to talk to them about his worry for Clove before she was awake, knowing she would be hurt and upset if she heard him speaking about her.

"Morning, sweetie," Eva greeted him from the kitchen. She turned off the blender and poured her morning smoothie into a glass before sitting down at the table with her husband, motioning for Gale to sit down as well. "How are you this morning? You're up awfully early."

Gale sat down, tapping his foot nervously. He didn't like worrying his parents, but he hated watching his baby sister suffer even more. "I got up early so I could talk to you guys about something, actually." He takes a breath, his eyes scanning his parents' intrigued faces. "It's Clove, I think she's having problems again. I'm just a little worried about her, I guess. She's started eating less, like last time, and when Cato tried to talk to her about it she got very upset, and she cried all night. I just thought you guys should know."

Eva set down her smoothie, pain evident on her face. "Should we start checking her drawer again?" she asked quietly, looking over at Victor.

Victor sighed. "I honestly don't know what to do about it. I don't want her to stop talking to us again. I just want her to be happy again." It devastated him that his little girl did this to herself, and that she didn't seem to want help from anybody.

Gale frowned, still tapping his foot. He had no idea how to let her know it was okay to get better, either. "Maybe she'll let Cato help her. She didn't yell at him or punch him in the face when he talked to her. I think she might let him help."

Victor nodded slowly. "That's logical, yes, I just feel odd about making it Cato's responsibility to take care of her. She's our daughter, we can't just sit back and let someone else be there for her when we don't know how."

"He has a good point, though," Eva said with a small nod. "If she really trusts Cato, which it seems that she does, then it's at least worth a try for us to see if she improves with him keeping an eye on her. I don't want to make her feel like she's in trouble, I think that's how she takes it when we talk to her."

They discussed the situation a bit longer before Eva heads off to pilates and Victor to work. Gale makes himself coffee, trying to stop worrying. He trusted that Cato would do all that he could to help.

Clove woke up to light kisses across her cheek, smiling as she blinked her eyes open. She felt warm and protected in Cato's arms with his lips brushing against her skin, making her feel carefree and light. "Morning, Cato," she whispered, capturing his lips with her own as he went in for another kiss on the cheek.

He kissed his darling back gently, smiling against her lips and dancing his fingertips up her side. "Good morning, kitten," he whispered in response upon pulling away. He stroked her clothed side for a while, sharing sweet kisses with the soft lips he'd come to crave more than anything else. He rolled onto his back, pulling her with him so that she laid on top of his torso, her knees on either side of his hips and her palms on his chest.

She kissed his whole face, smiling as he chuckled and nipped at her bottom lip. She gasped softly as his hands found her backside and squeezed, making her hips flex against his lower abdomen.

He grinned and began a series of kisses down her neck, her lovely mewls of pleasure keeping the smile on his face. "You're so adorable, princess," he murmured against her skin.

"You adore me?" she asked softly, looking down at him with a playful smile.

"Of course I adore you, baby," he said, nipping at her collarbone. "I completely adore you. I'm smitten, Clover."

"Smitten," she repeated, leaning down to kiss him once more. "I'm smitten, too. Smitten kitten." She giggled and pressed her forehead to his, letting out a contented sigh.

He chuckled, propping himself up on his elbows. "Cute," he said with a wide grin, standing up and scooping her up into his arms with his hands at the backs of her smooth thighs. He carried her downstairs, setting her down on the floor once they reached the kitchen table.

"Hey, Gale," Clove said, leaning down and kissing her brother on the cheek.

"Hey, Clover," he said, smiling and ruffling her hair. "Mom said you can have the rest of the smoothie in the blender," he continued, standing up from the table with a yawn. He was happy when she walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass. It relieved him that she wasn't at the point of flat out refusing food, which was what had happened when she was at her very worst.

She glanced at Cato as she poured the smoothie, his quick nod of encouragement enough to chase the guilt away for a while. She took small sips, looking up with a grin as Cato's arm encircled her waist from flushed red as she remembered the first time he'd held her like this, almost in the very same spot in the kitchen.

"Baby, you're so wonderful," he whispered, beaming as his tiny girl finished her smoothie. He kissed the top of her head lightly and held her for a while, tracing his fingers in small circles over her hip.

"You're wonderful, too," she whispered in response, tilting upwards to press her lips to his jaw.

Gale got up from the table, walking upstairs. "I'm going to shower, then I have to go to work," he called before shutting the bathroom door, deciding that it would be nice for Clove to spend some time alone with Cato. He saw how happy she was with him, and he knew she could use some time to get away from the topic of her eating.

Cato turned his angel around in his arms, his hands firmly placed at the small of her back. He kissed her cheeks and her neck, murmuring against her skin. "I love you, little bird, I love you so much."

"I love you, too," she whispered, toying with the hair at the nape of his neck. She hugged him tightly, resting her cheek, blushing from the kisses, against his shirt.

He slid his hands beneath her sweatshirt, his fingers light as feathers as they traveled up the smooth, bare skin of her back. He smiled slightly at the realization she was without a bra, tracing a line across the area beneath her shoulders that lace usually occupied. He moved his hands to her chest, slowly running his fingers across her ribs before cupping her softly in his hands. He brushed his thumbs over her hardening peaks with a small smirk, looking down upon her upturned face.

"Your hands are cold," she whispered, feeling her face become red as the pads of his thumbs rubbed small circles against her excited flesh.

"You're just warm," he murmured, a slight smirk remaining on his lips. He continued with the movements of his thumbs, enjoying the view of his dolly's wonderfully pink cheeks and her fluttering eyelashes. Her eyes were shut and her lips were parted slightly, her breaths coming quickly as he continued feeling her, his hands kneading her breasts tenderly.

She moaned quietly, bringing her hand down to the front of his sweatpants. She looked up at him with a small smile as she felt his hardened member through his clothing, stroking him up and down.

"Kitten," he mumbled, his voice husky and low. "Gale is right upstairs." His voice hitched and he shut his eyes as her soft, warm hand entered his pants and gripped him directly. "Clover, if he sees...Sweet Jesus..." She was suddenly on her knees, tugging his pants down with dainty fingers and looking up at him, a mischievous smile on her lips.

She stroked him a few more times, taking his length in both of her hands. She bit her lip, still looking up at him. "He won't see me if he comes down the stairs," she whispers, smiling and placing a light kiss on the tip of his member. She paused and looked at him, tilting her head to the side. "I promise, he won't see."

He nodded slowly, sighing and tangling his fingers in her hair as she took him in her mouth. He noticed that she seemed more confident this time, and he couldn't decide if he liked it more or less than her previous clumsy innocence. She was still clumsy, yes; her teeth occasionally peeked out to graze his skin, and occasionally she took him in a bit too far, resulting in tiny coughs that she tried (quite adorably) to hide.

She tried to go fast, worried that her brother would come down before Cato finished. It was sort of thrilling to do such an activity in her own kitchen with her brother upstairs and it got her quite hot and bothered as she continued. She licked, sucked, and swirled her tongue, hearing his breaths becoming more shallow and noticing the slight tugging on her hair as his hips began rocking back and forth.

He let out a low growl, unable to hold it in any longer as his kitten worked her sweet little tongue in a most devious way. "Angel, I'm so close." He tugged lightly on her hair again, his breath hitching and his stomach clenching as he reached his climax, Gale reaching the foot of the stairs at the very same moment. Cato groaned deep in his throat, letting go of his little one's hair as he heard Gale's keys jingling near the stairway.

"Bye guys, see you later," Gale called, seeing the top half of Cato over the counter as he made his way to the front door.

"Later," Cato managed, his voice still husky and his breathing labored. He could barely contain the obscenities that were begging to exit his mouth as his princess not only swallowed, but proceeded to return her soft tongue to his member and lick off the excess, all while her brother stood mere feet away.

She flicked her tongue to the corners of her mouth with a small, innocent smile as Gale left the house, the door clicking shut on his way out. Tucking her feet beneath her and remaining on the kitchen floor, she gently pulled Cato's pants back up, looking up at him.

"Kitten, I don't know what you were thinking," he said, an amused and equally satisfied smile on his face. He looked down at her, sighing deeply and running a hand through his hair. His little angel, red in the face after performing the act of fellatio on her kitchen floor, was peering up at him with the most self-impressed smile he'd seen her wear.

"Well," she began, not shifting from her position on the floor. "I was thinking of revenge for the movie theater," she said quietly, biting her lip. "And I think I did pretty well." She couldn't conceal the small giggle that bubbled past her lips as she'd recalled the look on Cato's as her brother said goodbye. She then sighed, her mind drifting to a less delightful place.

He chuckled slightly, shaking his head. "To that I'd say 'bad kitty', but I mean it in the very best way. It was possibly the most enjoyable revenge I've ever suffered from, actually." He raised an eyebrow at her as she stayed on the floor, idly twirling a piece of her hair. "Why don't you stand up and kiss me, pretty baby?"

She grinned and got up quickly, standing on her toes and pressing her lips to his. "Sorry, I was spacing out," she mumbled upon pulling away, shaking her head slightly. She kissed him again, though he didn't kiss back.

"What's wrong, Clover?" he asked, a bit concerned by her sudden spacey disposition and poorly hidden frown. He held her hips lightly, waiting in silence for her to answer.

She managed a smile and shook her head. "Nothing's wrong, I was just thinking about something," she said softly, shrugging. "I'll be right back, okay?" She slipped from his arms and started upstairs, her mind racing. She was tumbling quickly back to the bad part of wonderland, where the tea parties were bad and all of the signs were switched. It was the tiny bottles labeled 'eat me', not the cakes. She made it into her room and frantically searched through her bottom drawer, where her winter things were stored during summer and vice versa. The desk hadn't seen the bottle in a long time, not since her parents began checking. She located the bottle ('eat me, eat me, eat me') and shook two blue capsules into her hand, replacing the bottle in it's secret corner and shutting her drawer before placing the capsules ('eat me!') on her tongue.

Cato went upstairs after her, making it to her room just as he saw his broken little bird bring her hand to her mouth, tilting her head back. It took him a moment to realize, but he knew. "Baby, spit them out, now," he said quietly, walking cautiously to where she knelt on the floor. He crouched next to her, holding out his hand. "Now," he repeated.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Please keep reviewing! Although I love this story a lot (like a lot a lot), it'll be hard for me to continue if it seems like nobody cares if I update :o So keep reviewing, and I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

_"I don't care if it hurts_

_I want to have control_

_I want a perfect body_

_I want a perfect soul_

_I want you to notice when I'm not around_

_You're so fucking special_

_I wish I was special."_

Clove shook her head, tears threatening to spring from her eyes as Cato held out his hand expectantly. She'd been told ('eat me') to swallow the pills, but her throat wouldn't let her. She tried again, but she just could not make her mouth work. She was torn; she wanted to swallow them, because that was what she was supposed to do. Those were the rules in this part of wonderland, this grey area full of bushes with thorns and ghosts in all the corners. But she didn't want to hurt Cato, and she didn't want him to be upset with her. She shut her eyes, which resulted in a large tear rolling down her cheek.

Cato was relieved when she spit the pills into his hand. "Give me the bottle, Clover." He kept his voice low; he didn't want her to become hysterical or angry at him. He frowned when she shook her head, reaching to stroke her hair with his free hand. "Hey, kitten, you don't need those. Please, give them to me."

She scowled at him. She didn't mean to, she just couldn't help it. She scowled at him and she saw the hurt in his eyes, but she refused to give him the bottle. She refused when he asked again, and when he moved his hand from her hair to her shoulder she roughly shook him off as if he'd hurt her. Everything was all wrong. She wanted him to hold her and flush the pills away and kiss her and coo lovely names in her ear, but something (the skeletons, probably) wouldn't allow her to have what she wanted.

He sat a few feet away from her after she shook his hand away, trying to understand what exactly was going on. He watched her carefully, afraid his little angel would shatter at any moment.

"I do need them," she whispered, still frowning. "They're mine, and I paid for them. I don't see why I can't keep my things." She knew that she didn't mean her words, but the skeletons were messing with her mind, terrifying her beyond belief. "Cato, Please, go away."

He shook his head. "No, Clover. I'm not going to leave. I need you to give me the pills right now." He was trying to hide how worried he was. He'd never seen her angry before, and the only time she'd been upset before it was also related to her eating issues. He knew it was hard for her, but if looks could kill the scathing expression of his little girl would have murdered him in a moment.

She scowled again as she yanked her drawer open, quickly locating the bottle of pills and tossing it at Cato with an uncharacteristic glare. She felt horrible, so very horrible for how she was acting. It simply wasn't something she could control as the moment, she was too overwhelmed.

He caught the bottle in his free hand and stood up, walking to the bathroom. He dropped into the toilet the two capsules she'd spat into his hand first, then opened the bottle and poured the entire contents inside. He washed his hands after flushing and sighed, trying to understand why she was acting so cold towards him all of the sudden.

She'd calmed down a bit by the time Cato returned to her room empty handed. She stood up and wrapped her arms around his neck, letting out a deep breath as he picked her up and held her like a child. She nuzzled her face in the crook of his neck, pressing a gentle kiss to his skin. "I am so sorry," she whispered. "Thank you for taking them away."

He nodded slightly, holding her close to him. "Angel, don't apologise. Please just promise me that you won't buy those anymore, okay? I don't like seeing you so sad and angry."

She nodded, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment before speaking again. "I didn't mean to be so rude rude to you," she says quietly. "I just wasn't thinking clearly."

He sat down on her bed, cradling her in his lap. "Hey, don't worry," he murmured, stroking her hair. "I understand. I just want you to be safe, darling. That's all I want."

She sighed quietly, trying to collect her thoughts. "Why do you still love me if I'm not perfect?" she asked, her voice barely audible.

He leaned closer to her (cooing, just as the skeletons tried to prevent) and kissed the soft skin beneath her earlobe before speaking."Clover, you are perfect to me. You don't see it, I know. But you are. You're my pretty flower, my kitten, my princess, my angel. You're so wonderful, baby. I love you because there's no way I couldn't."

She smiled slightly. She was getting what she'd wanted, and the foul creatures in her head couldn't take it away. She kissed his neck over and over, only stopping when he captured her cheek in one hand and caught her lips with his own.

He kissed his angel slowly and gently, his unoccupied hand finding it's way to her thigh. "Princess, never question my love," he mumbled, kissing her again. He traced soft circles on her inner thigh with his index finger, trailing small kisses and bites down her neck.

She relaxed in his arms, letting his lips travel across the skin of her throat. "I love you so much," she whispered, letting out a small whimper as his teeth latched onto her skin and he sucked hard enough to create a noticeable mark. She held onto him tighter as he trailed his tongue from one collarbone to the other, nipping lightly at her flesh.

He kissed her skin tenderly once he was finished with his teeth. "You're mine and I'll never let you go, kitten. I'll keep you safe," he mumbled, looking back up to her face. "I don't want you to cry anymore, or bother with those pills, or worry about your eating. I want things to be easier for you, I just don't know exactly how to help."

"Everything you do helps me," she said, and she was being sincere. "I'm not depressed, I know that I was but I haven't felt that way in a while, and I don't think I could ever be that sad again now that I am with you. I don't want to take those pills anymore, either. It's just that...I- I just can't shake some of the feelings, you know?" She was struggling to articulate the thoughts that swirled in her mind, sometimes positive and helpful and other times breaking her down into a small, fragile frame of who she truly was.

He nodded, slowly coming to understand how she felt. It saddened him that she'd felt the need to take diet pills to be small, and that she felt a need to be small at all. He didn't like the idea of her ever starving herself or restricting food, and it made him angry that some horrible set of thoughts snuck into her head and led her to this. "You can talk to me when you need to, alright kitten? You don't need to be scared when I'm here."

After that she nodded, not pulling away as his lips connected with hers. She let her mind become completely enveloped in the feeling of his lips against hers, and the feeling of his hand tracing a searing trail of light caresses from her knee to the hem of her spandex shorts.

He lifted her carefully from his lap and laid her down on the bed, catching a glimpse of her already blushing face as he began a purposely slow and indulgent assault of tender kisses up the inside of her right leg, beginning at her knee. Her feet dangled over the edge of the bed as he slowly pulled her shorts off, tossing them to the floor. He brought a finger to her panties, stroking up and down the small patch of dampness that was forming between her legs with a slight smile and a low whisper.

"Do you want me to kiss you there, princess?" he asked, peering up at her. Her hands were both gripping her pillow behind her head, and her tank top had ridden up to expose her hips as well as a delightful portion of her taut stomach. He chuckled quietly at her response, a small whimper, and removed her panties as well.

She bit her lip as he lifted her legs from behind her knees, positioning her feet to rest spread apart on her comforter. She could feel his breath between her legs and it made her whole body tingle, from her toes to the very top of her head. "Cato..." she breathed as his tongue barely met her slick center, dipping only slightly into her before pulling back, replaced by his breath once again.

"You're so lovely, like a flower," he murmured with a grin, kissing her fully in the place that made her moan and squirm. He moved his lips against her as he did in a heated kiss, his tongue venturing out once again to taste every spot he could reach. He held her hips as he continued, vaguely noticing her quick breaths as a series of his darling's high pitched mewls filled his ears. He let his teeth graze over her bundle of nerves occasionally, knowing by the moans that erupted from deep in her throat that she enjoyed it very much.

It didn't take long for the now familiar approach of release to fill Clove's body with heavenly warmth, starting between her legs. She moaned loudly as his teeth met her sensitive button once more, biting down tenuously and sending her into a splendid climax. Her lower abdomen clenched and her toes curled as she rode out the blissful orgasm, her mouth open slightly and her breaths quick and shallow.

He tasted the intoxicating result of her pleasure before pressing a gentle kiss directly beneath her belly button. "Oh, you are just a peach, baby. So sweet," he murmured, kissing her stomach once more. "And so very juicy, princess," he added, smirking slightly at her quiet gasp.

"God, I love when you talk like that," she breathed, letting her legs drop back down to rest on the soft mattress. She smiled slightly as he got up and selected a new pair of panties from her top drawer and slid them up her legs, sighing as he did so.

"You've got the cutest panties, Clover," he said, lying next to her on the bed and trailing a leisurely finger along her side. He watched her face, her usual blush making him smile. He pulled her against him, her small body tucked easily into his own. "I can take you shopping if you'd like, to buy you some more," he murmured, his face buried in her hair.

She laughed quietly. "I'd let you pick them out," she said softly, a smile on her lips. They laid together for a while, matching each other's breathing and enjoying their shared heat. Clove drifted to a contented state, bordering between asleep and awake as she listened to the low thrum of Cato's heartbeat.

He ran his fingers repeatedly across her hipbone as they remained in silence, closing his eyes and letting his thoughts wander. "Baby, are you awake?" he asked after a while, his voice hushed.

She smiled slightly, nodding. "Yeah, just thinking," she said, her voice dreamy and a little far off. She unmatchable bliss she felt when she was with Cato was so beautiful to her, and she never wanted to lose it. She thought of nice and happy things, like the flowers she'd recently painted and Cato's tender kisses. She did all that she could to keep the bad things folded up and hidden away in the furthest corner of her mind, willing them to stay away.

"Penny for your thoughts, little flower?" he asked quietly, holding her a little tighter. He smiled as she shifted around in his arms, pressing her forehead to his.

"I'll tell you a poem," she said, her voice still a bit floaty. "I haven't really been thinking of much in particular, but I do really like the poem." She took a small breath as he nodded, closing her eyes for a moment to make sure she got the words right.

"Let me show you  
Sweet smell of a delicate whisper  
Behind the vision of gardens  
Go and read of your life  
Tiny ripping at the heart  
Drunk from a rose."

He smiled widely, brushing his lips near the corner of her mouth. "That was very fitting, angel. If you were a rose I'd surely be drunk from you." He smiled at her small giggle, nuzzling her nose with his own. "Whose poem?"

"Erica Caitlin Lee," she said, smiling. "I've got one of her books, that was my favorite poem of the short ones I could memorize."

"I'll buy you a poetry book soon," he murmured, his fingers flitting up and down her side. "A big one, so you'll have plenty to read." He kissed her eyelids gently as she closed them, then the tip of her nose.

She giggled again, opening her eyes. "You're sweet, Cato," she whispered, mimicking the soft path of his lips. "It tickles on the eyes, yeah?"

He laughed and nodded, sighing happily. "Hm, so what do you want to do today? Gale is out, your parents aren't home until later. We should go out and do something, don't you think?"

"I'd like to go out," she said, nodding. "Can we go on a walk and then get coffee? And go to the park? We can sit and watch weird old women try to feed squirrels from their hands," she says, beaming.

"Anything you want, princess," he said, smiling. He was glad that she appeared to be in such a good mood, and he wasn't going to dwell on negative things if she was past the topic for the time being.

Once they'd both showered and gotten dressed (with a bit of kissing in between), they left the house with their fingers intertwined. Clove's white sundress brushed mid-thigh as they walked, the bottom fluttering occasionally when the pleasant breeze picked up.

Cato smiled down at her, swinging their hands as they got closer to the coffee shop. He pulled the door open for her and let her in first, noticing the way her hair bounced slightly as she turned around to grin at him. "What do you want to get, kitten?" he asked, glancing up at the chalkboard menu.

"Café au lait with soy, please," she said before looking at the menu, knowing it would be too overwhelming to have so many options. She walked with him up to the register, leaning her cheek against his arm as he ordered her coffee for her, as well as a large black coffee for himself.

He glanced around the coffee shop after paying, to his dismay spotting a tall, overdressed blonde standing and waiting for her drink at the other end of the counter. He didn't want Clove and Glimmer to meet, especially after what had happened at Gale's party. "Baby, I'll grab our drinks. Want to grab a seat by the window?" he suggested, wanting to keep her out of Glimmer's sight. He knew Glimmer's personality well, and he also knew she would do anything to get her vindictive little claws into his Clover at her first chance.

Unfortunately, Glimmer turned their way and looked up from her phone in time to see her ex's lips meet those of the small brunette before the two separated and Clove went to find a seat. When Cato walked over to the counter to wait for their drinks, she raised an eyebrow and snickered. "Wow, see you're cradle robbing now. That's cute, Cato, but I never really pegged you as a paedophile. You're shacking up with your best friend's baby sis?"

Cato rolled his eyes, already tired of her. "Glimmer, would you please mind your own fucking business?" He didn't want to cause a scene in a coffee shop, but he had a bad feeling that Glimmer wouldn't mind stirring up drama in an instant.

"No, I won't mind my own business, actually. I'm worried about you, Cato. I'm pretty sure you've gone insane. There might have been something in the European water, because you're literally acting like a lunatic." She was raising her voice, making the few employees shoot glances at each other.

He laughed. "You're worried about me? Give me a break, Glim. That's really, really funny of you to say. Now could you please stop bothering me, you're like a fucking parasite." He was baffled as to how she'd cheated on him with no qualms, but suddenly claimed to be worried about him, and wanted to 'talk'.

The barista set Glimmer's drink on the counter, but the blonde ignored it and continued her obnoxious stream of idiocy. "I'm like a fucking parasite? Cato, please, get over yourself. One thing happened and you're acting like I'm the worst person in the world. You're being crazy."

When the barista set out two more drinks, he grabbed them and quickly turned away from Glimmer, ignoring everything she said. He found Clove at a table near the window, handing her the coffee she'd ordered. "Café au lait for the princess," he said, grinning. His smile faltered, though, as he heard the clicking of Glimmer's heels growing nearer.

Clove looked at the girl with confusion as she sipped her drink, not sure as to why the girl who'd caused her to cry a few nights before was standing beside their table. She looked back down at her drink, completely uncomfortable.

"Cato, I was fucking talking to you and you just walked away. That's hideously rude, baby."

"Glimmer," Cato said, through clenched teeth, turning slightly to face her. "You're hideously rude. You're worse than that, but I'm not trying to start shit here, which you clearly are. Now please, can I have come coffee with my girlfriend?"

Glimmer scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I get that you're trying to do the whole jealousy thing, but you couldn't have at least picked someone like, half your age? I understand that you were sort of pissed about, you know, what happened, but you totally overreacted. You've stooped pretty low if it means you're trying to get back at me by hooking up with some little kid. Honestly, she's sort of pathetic."

Clove slammed her drink down on the table, not even flinching as hot coffee splashed onto her hand. She shoved past Glimmer and walked outside, trying hard not to let the angry, hurt tears fall from her eyes as she made her way towards the park. She was furious, because it was getting back to the point where she seemingly couldn't go a day without feeling as if she was going to cry. She bit her lip, forcing the beginnings of tears away. The words still stung, though, and seeing Glimmer made her feel completely sick to her stomach.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: The ex makes an...appearance or two in this chapter, I hope it helps you all piece some things together :) Enjoy, and continue reviewing!**

_"What are you like?_

_Where did you get to?_

_Know what I think?_

_You didn't hold me for any longer."_

"Meet me in my room in five minutes," Clove said with a small grin as she started upstairs, shopping bag in hand. She and Cato had both rushed into the house, and she knew that the only thing on his mind was seeing her in something new, with lace. She was excited as well, her heart fluttering as she imagined what he would do to her once her saw her decorated in pretty, frilly things.

Cato nodded slightly, running a hand through his hair as he watched her disappear into the upstairs hallway. He checked the clock, glad to see they had an hour before anybody would be returning home. He watched the minute hand for five mundane rotations, the time crawling by.

Clove arranged all of her new lingerie on the floor of her room, trying to decide what would be the best to wear first. She decided on the light pink set Cato had chosen, remembering a pair of thigh-high stockings with light pink satin bows she'd kept from last year's Halloween.

_"Baby, you'll look so hot. Please, just try it on."_

_"Marvel, I'm not dressing up as Slutty Bo-Peepshow for Halloween, that's ridiculous."_

_"Come on, seriously? You have to be something sexy, Clover. That's just what girls are supposed to do. It's basically the point of Halloween."_

_She rolled her eyes, shoving the hanger with the costume back into his hands. He shoved it back at her with a warning glance, one that made her quite uncomfortable. She continued refusing, though, even though he wasn't being very nice about it at all._

_Clove eventually gave in, though, trying on and purchasing the obnoxious costume. She let him parade her around all night at the Halloween party, showing off his little prize to all of his friends and groping at her whenever he could get her somewhere secluded. He barely ever kissed her, though, and when he did they were hasty and unenjoyable pecks. It was one of her least favorite nights with him, and she hated the things people assumed about her after she and Marvel disappeared upstairs for an extended amount of time. He vomited in the toilet twelve times and she stayed with him, rubbing his back and humming sweet songs to soothe him, but for some reason he never cared to set the story straight._

She pulled the stockings from her drawer and placed them on the floor with the rest of the lingerie, smirking at the irony. Marvel had forced her into buying them in the first place, but now she was going to wear them (very willingly) for the enjoyment of someone else, her wonderful Cato. She undressed completely and slid the tiny pink panties up her legs, then fastened the matching bra behind her back. Once the garter belt rested above her hips and her stockings were clipped into place, she stood in front of her mirror and inspected herself. She turned around, looking over her shoulder and biting her lip; the panties really didn't cover anything in the back. She tightened the bra straps a bit and arranged her hair around her shoulders, turning with a slight smile as she heard Cato knocking on her door. She threw all of the other charming articles back into the shopping bag and took a deep breath before opening the door, her cheeks already tinged with Cato's favorite rosy shade.

He was in awe, more so than ever as he gazed down at his blushing little flower. He placed his hands on her hips and guided her further into her room, kicking the door shut behind him. He removed his hands for a moment and drank her in; his eyes trailed from her colored cheeks to her lace-clad breasts, over the plain of her taut stomach and to the enticing area between her small legs. He especially enjoyed the garter belt and corresponding stockings, wondering vaguely when and for what occasion she'd acquired them. "Turn around, little one," he said, smiling as she did so with compliance.

She shut her eyes and let out a soft breath as she felt his palms on her backside, reaching her arms behind her to trail her fingers lightly along the back of his neck. "Are you happy with your choice?" she asked quietly, her breath hitching as he squeezed her tenderly. She felt his hot breath near her ear as he leaned down, sending shivers down her spine.

"I like it very, very much," he murmured, nipping at her earlobe. "The stockings are a lovely touch, by the way." He slides his hands first to her stomach, then her prettily adorned chest. He ran his fingers over the delicate lace cups that covered her breasts, kissing her exposed shoulder blade as her breathing picked up. "You always seem so nervous, doll. I can feel your heart."

Her mind traveled back to the first night he'd touched her, when he made her brain feel hazy and her skin completely electric. He hadn't lost the effect he had on her that night, and each time after that. "That's just what you do to me," she whispers, leaning her head back against him. "You make my brain stop and my heart beat twice as fast."

He chuckled, placing his hands back at her hips and turning her around to face him. He ran his hands up and down the curve of her waist then kissed each of her cheeks, feeling the warmth of her skin against his lips. "My little kitty, so pretty and sweet," he whispered, lifting her at her waist and carrying her to her bed.

She smiled softly up at him as he laid her down, her hair falling against her pillow in soft waves. Her skin tingled as he outlined each garment she was wearing with his finger, making her sigh and squirm slightly on the bed. She giggled softly as he tickled her sides, squirming even more. "Cato, stop," she mumbled through small bursts of laughter as he continued tickling her. "Stop that, please..."

He eventually stopped, chuckling to himself at her bell-like laugh and the way she tightened her stomach as defense against his small attack. He kissed her softly right beneath her ribcage, then finally met her lips with his own. He was pleasantly surprised by the eagerness with which she returned his kiss; it almost resembled her ferocity in the kitchen when she was delirious with champagne. Her kisses were hungry yet delicate, much as his little flower was herself.

She brought a hand to the back of his head, running her fingers through his hair as she assaulted his mouth with her own, receiving the very same assault in return. He wasn't rough with her, but his passion was evident and it matched her own in a delicious sort of way.

He maneuvered one of his hands to expertly unclip the stockings from her garter belt, only breaking away from her now-wet lips to roll both of the adorable thigh-highs down her legs and toss them to the floor. His lips trailed a tantalizing pattern of kisses up the inside of her thighs, alternating between each of the porcelain surfaces. He smiled slightly and nuzzled his face between her legs, just wanting to tease her a bit more. She was so lovely when she was teased, letting out small squeaks and whimpers of want that made his heart pound and the lump in his trousers grow firmer by the moment.

She sighed softly as his his face left it's pleasant location and he continued undressing her, the miniscule panties as well as the garter belt soon meeting the stockings on the carpet. She was soon rid of her bra as well and she lay before him, completely exposed. She smiled slightly as his strong hand caressed her cheek, and as he ran his fingers through the hair that was splayed around her head in a disorganized halo.

Her small gasp-squeal of surprise as he thrust two fingers into her intimacy would remain one of his favorite of her many sounds for quite a while; her eyes had fluttered shut in a most beautiful way and he couldn't help but notice as she spread her small legs wider apart just for removed his hand from her cheek and brought it to her waist, holding her tightly as he thrust his fingers into her again and again.

She felt his fingers curl and twist inside of her, each new movement sending bursts of pleasure through her nerves and exclamations past her lips. If she tilted her hips a certain way as he buried his fingers deep inside of her, she felt something incredible unlike anything before. She matched this small adjustment of her hips with the rhythm of his fingers, and with his hand that tightened simultaneously at her waist each time his fingers were brought forward.

His writhing kitten's orgasm was magnificent to behold, her back arching and her mouth opening to form the prettiest little 'o' he'd seen. Her little mewls of contentment as he pulled his fingers from her filled him with joy, and he grinned as she brought both of her hands to grab his arm and bring his glistening fingers to her mouth. He watched intently as she licked his fingers thoroughly, wondering what made her want to taste herself without his asking.

She shut her eyes and relaxed against her pillow when she finished with his fingers, sighing. She knew it made him happy when she cleaned him up, and after how he'd made her feel she didn't mind one bit. Not that she ever minded what he asked her to do, she'd always do whatever he wanted. She smiled and opened her eyes as he kissed her forehead, placing her hand at the side of his neck and leaning up to kiss his lips. She pulled away slightly as her phone vibrated from the bedside table, sitting up and wrapping the sheets around herself at Cato handed it to her. She had an incoming call from an unknown number, but she'd recently gotten a new phone so it could be practically anyone. "Hello?"

Cato sat down next to her in her bed, not wanting to eavesdrop on her conversation but not particularly wanting to leave. He watched her furrow her brow in confusion and shake her head, furrowing his own brow as well.

"How did you get this number?" she asked, trying to keep her voice calm and level although she felt very unsettled.

Marvel laughed at the other end. "Don't be stupid, Clove. It wasn't hard, I just got it from someone. It doesn't matter. I was just wondering how you are..."

She scowled. "Don't say that, that's complete bullshit," she said, getting out of bed and holding the sheets tightly around her with her free hand. "You remember what happened, it's your fault. Just leave me alone."

"How is it my fault everyone thinks you're a slut with mental problems, Clo? I didn't say any of that," he said, chuckling. "They were just dumb rumors, I don't know why you're still pissed about it."

"What do you mean how is it your fault? You never denied it and you never defended me. And I know you added to it, Marvel. I know what you said about me." She bit her lip, more frustrated than anything at how mean he was being, and how he was bringing up things she'd just wanted to forget. She hadn't spoken to him since November, after the Halloween party and after the rumors started circulating that she'd given it all up to him in the bathroom when they'd gone upstairs.

"I made a couple jokes, so what? God, you really are fucking crazy, Clovey..."

"Don't call me that," she said coldly. "Don't do this to me, you fucking asshole. Please, please don't..."

Cato frowned and stood up, wrapping his arms around his darling's waist and kissing the side of her head. It sounded to him like an ex on the phone, one that had really messed something up. He hated the idea of someone else with his Clover, especially if they hadn't treated her well.

"Fine, Clove. But when you pass out at school again because you're too good for eating, or you're too damn cute or whatever the fuck your reasoning is, don't come crying to me. I don't know why everyone felt so bad for you-"

She hung up and dropped her phone to the floor, shaking her head as tears stung in her eyes. She leaned her head back against Cato's chest, taking a long breath before letting out a weak laugh. "I should just smash my phone into a million pieces," she said, shrugging slightly. She'd gotten a new phone as well as a new number after her previous one had filled with nasty messages about how she was an attention seeker, a whore, a pathetic, pathetic, pathetic excuse for a person.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: The ex makes an...appearance or two in this chapter, I hope it helps you all piece some things together :) Enjoy, and continue reviewing!**

_"What are you like?_

_Where did you get to?_

_Know what I think?_

_You didn't hold me for any longer."_

"Meet me in my room in five minutes," Clove said with a small grin as she started upstairs, shopping bag in hand. She and Cato had both rushed into the house, and she knew that the only thing on his mind was seeing her in something new, with lace. She was excited as well, her heart fluttering as she imagined what he would do to her once her saw her decorated in pretty, frilly things.

Cato nodded slightly, running a hand through his hair as he watched her disappear into the upstairs hallway. He checked the clock, glad to see they had an hour before anybody would be returning home. He watched the minute hand for five mundane rotations, the time crawling by.

Clove arranged all of her new lingerie on the floor of her room, trying to decide what would be the best to wear first. She decided on the light pink set Cato had chosen, remembering a pair of thigh-high stockings with light pink satin bows she'd kept from last year's Halloween.

_"Baby, you'll look so hot. Please, just try it on."_

_"Marvel, I'm not dressing up as Slutty Bo-Peepshow for Halloween, that's ridiculous."_

_"Come on, seriously? You have to be something sexy, Clover. That's just what girls are supposed to do. It's basically the point of Halloween."_

_She rolled her eyes, shoving the hanger with the costume back into his hands. He shoved it back at her with a warning glance, one that made her quite uncomfortable. She continued refusing, though, even though he wasn't being very nice about it at all._

_Clove eventually gave in, though, trying on and purchasing the obnoxious costume. She let him parade her around all night at the Halloween party, showing off his little prize to all of his friends and groping at her whenever he could get her somewhere secluded. He barely ever kissed her, though, and when he did they were hasty and unenjoyable pecks. It was one of her least favorite nights with him, and she hated the things people assumed about her after she and Marvel disappeared upstairs for an extended amount of time. He vomited in the toilet twelve times and she stayed with him, rubbing his back and humming sweet songs to soothe him, but for some reason he never cared to set the story straight._

She pulled the stockings from her drawer and placed them on the floor with the rest of the lingerie, smirking at the irony. Marvel had forced her into buying them in the first place, but now she was going to wear them (very willingly) for the enjoyment of someone else, her wonderful Cato. She undressed completely and slid the tiny pink panties up her legs, then fastened the matching bra behind her back. Once the garter belt rested above her hips and her stockings were clipped into place, she stood in front of her mirror and inspected herself. She turned around, looking over her shoulder and biting her lip; the panties really didn't cover anything in the back. She tightened the bra straps a bit and arranged her hair around her shoulders, turning with a slight smile as she heard Cato knocking on her door. She threw all of the other charming articles back into the shopping bag and took a deep breath before opening the door, her cheeks already tinged with Cato's favorite rosy shade.

He was in awe, more so than ever as he gazed down at his blushing little flower. He placed his hands on her hips and guided her further into her room, kicking the door shut behind him. He removed his hands for a moment and drank her in; his eyes trailed from her colored cheeks to her lace-clad breasts, over the plain of her taut stomach and to the enticing area between her small legs. He especially enjoyed the garter belt and corresponding stockings, wondering vaguely when and for what occasion she'd acquired them. "Turn around, little one," he said, smiling as she did so with compliance.

She shut her eyes and let out a soft breath as she felt his palms on her backside, reaching her arms behind her to trail her fingers lightly along the back of his neck. "Are you happy with your choice?" she asked quietly, her breath hitching as he squeezed her tenderly. She felt his hot breath near her ear as he leaned down, sending shivers down her spine.

"I like it very, very much," he murmured, nipping at her earlobe. "The stockings are a lovely touch, by the way." He slides his hands first to her stomach, then her prettily adorned chest. He ran his fingers over the delicate lace cups that covered her breasts, kissing her exposed shoulder blade as her breathing picked up. "You always seem so nervous, doll. I can feel your heart."

Her mind traveled back to the first night he'd touched her, when he made her brain feel hazy and her skin completely electric. He hadn't lost the effect he had on her that night, and each time after that. "That's just what you do to me," she whispers, leaning her head back against him. "You make my brain stop and my heart beat twice as fast."

He chuckled, placing his hands back at her hips and turning her around to face him. He ran his hands up and down the curve of her waist then kissed each of her cheeks, feeling the warmth of her skin against his lips. "My little kitty, so pretty and sweet," he whispered, lifting her at her waist and carrying her to her bed.

She smiled softly up at him as he laid her down, her hair falling against her pillow in soft waves. Her skin tingled as he outlined each garment she was wearing with his finger, making her sigh and squirm slightly on the bed. She giggled softly as he tickled her sides, squirming even more. "Cato, stop," she mumbled through small bursts of laughter as he continued tickling her. "Stop that, please..."

He eventually stopped, chuckling to himself at her bell-like laugh and the way she tightened her stomach as defense against his small attack. He kissed her softly right beneath her ribcage, then finally met her lips with his own. He was pleasantly surprised by the eagerness with which she returned his kiss; it almost resembled her ferocity in the kitchen when she was delirious with champagne. Her kisses were hungry yet delicate, much as his little flower was herself.

She brought a hand to the back of his head, running her fingers through his hair as she assaulted his mouth with her own, receiving the very same assault in return. He wasn't rough with her, but his passion was evident and it matched her own in a delicious sort of way.

He maneuvered one of his hands to expertly unclip the stockings from her garter belt, only breaking away from her now-wet lips to roll both of the adorable thigh-highs down her legs and toss them to the floor. His lips trailed a tantalizing pattern of kisses up the inside of her thighs, alternating between each of the porcelain surfaces. He smiled slightly and nuzzled his face between her legs, just wanting to tease her a bit more. She was so lovely when she was teased, letting out small squeaks and whimpers of want that made his heart pound and the lump in his trousers grow firmer by the moment.

She sighed softly as his his face left it's pleasant location and he continued undressing her, the miniscule panties as well as the garter belt soon meeting the stockings on the carpet. She was soon rid of her bra as well and she lay before him, completely exposed. She smiled slightly as his strong hand caressed her cheek, and as he ran his fingers through the hair that was splayed around her head in a disorganized halo.

Her small gasp-squeal of surprise as he thrust two fingers into her intimacy would remain one of his favorite of her many sounds for quite a while; her eyes had fluttered shut in a most beautiful way and he couldn't help but notice as she spread her small legs wider apart just for him as he removed his hand from her cheek and brought it to her waist, holding her tightly as he thrust his fingers into her again and again.

She felt his fingers curl and twist inside of her, each new movement sending bursts of pleasure through her nerves and exclamations past her lips. If she tilted her hips a certain way as he buried his fingers deep inside of her, she felt something incredible unlike anything before. She matched this small adjustment of her hips with the rhythm of his fingers, and with his hand that tightened simultaneously at her waist each time his fingers were brought forward.

His writhing kitten's orgasm was magnificent to behold, her back arching and her mouth opening to form the prettiest little 'o' he'd seen. Her little mewls of contentment as he pulled his fingers from her filled him with joy, and he grinned as she brought both of her hands to grab his arm and bring his glistening fingers to her mouth. He watched intently as she licked his fingers thoroughly, wondering what made her want to taste herself without his asking.

She shut her eyes and relaxed against her pillow when she finished with his fingers, sighing. She knew it made him happy when she cleaned him up, and after how he'd made her feel she didn't mind one bit. Not that she ever minded what he asked her to do, she'd always do whatever he wanted. She smiled and opened her eyes as he kissed her forehead, placing her hand at the side of his neck and leaning up to kiss his lips. She pulled away slightly as her phone vibrated from the bedside table, sitting up and wrapping the sheets around herself at Cato handed it to her. She had an incoming call from an unknown number, but she'd recently gotten a new phone so it could be practically anyone. "Hello?"

Cato sat down next to her in her bed, not wanting to eavesdrop on her conversation but not particularly wanting to leave. He watched her furrow her brow in confusion and shake her head, furrowing his own brow as well.

"How did you get this number?" she asked, trying to keep her voice calm and level although she felt very unsettled.

Marvel laughed at the other end. "Don't be stupid, Clove. It wasn't hard, I just got it from someone. It doesn't matter. I was just wondering how you are..."

She scowled. "Don't say that, that's complete bullshit," she said, getting out of bed and holding the sheets tightly around her with her free hand. "You remember what happened, it's your fault. Just leave me alone."

"How is it my fault everyone thinks you're a slut with mental problems, Clo? I didn't say any of that," he said, chuckling. "They were just dumb rumors, I don't know why you're still pissed about it."

"What do you mean how is it your fault? You never denied it and you never defended me. And I know you added to it, Marvel. I know what you said about me." She bit her lip, more frustrated than anything at how mean he was being, and how he was bringing up things she'd just wanted to forget. She hadn't spoken to him since November, after the Halloween party and after the rumors started circulating that she'd given it all up to him in the bathroom when they'd gone upstairs.

"I made a couple jokes, so what? God, you really are fucking crazy, Clovey..."

"Don't call me that," she said coldly. "Don't do this to me, you fucking asshole. Please, please don't..."

Cato frowned and stood up, wrapping his arms around his darling's waist and kissing the side of her head. It sounded to him like an ex on the phone, one that had really messed something up. He hated the idea of someone else with his Clover, especially if they hadn't treated her well.

"Fine, Clove. But when you pass out at school again because you're too good for eating, or you're too damn cute or whatever the fuck your reasoning is, don't come crying to me. I don't know why everyone felt so bad for you-"

She hung up and dropped her phone to the floor, shaking her head as tears stung in her eyes. She leaned her head back against Cato's chest, taking a long breath before letting out a weak laugh. "I should just smash my phone into a million pieces," she said, shrugging slightly. She'd gotten a new phone as well as a new number after her previous one had filled with nasty messages about how she was an attention seeker, a whore, a pathetic, pathetic, pathetic excuse for a person.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: After reading your reviews/mentally kicking myself a few times, I made a revision to the previous chapter. If you don't feel like going back to re-read, the change in pretty evident in the first few lines of this chapter. I hope you enjoy, and I hope you like the fix as well :') This chapter has a lot of plot, I hope it's fun to read!**

_"There's treasure maps well hidden_

_And diamonds in the dirt_

_There's a golden thread weaved into your shirt_

_There's a kiss for every tear_

_That rolls down your cheek_

_And words I shouldn't hear and words you shouldn't speak."_

Cato frowned, taking a deep breath and kissing the top of Clove's head. "Baby, who was that? Do I need to go kick someone's ass?" He hated how hurt she'd sounded talking to them, and he really didn't enjoy seeing her angry and upset. He figured it was some immature ex of hers, probably from her grade, trying to make her feel guilty about something. He already didn't like this guy at all, whoever it was.

"My ex," she mumbled, taking a breath as well. "Marvel. He's horrible, Cato. I can't get away from him, he keeps trying to talk to me." She bit her lip, knowing how protective Cato was, and that he'd probably like to snap the neck of anyone who treated her badly.

Cato's stomach dropped and he shook his head in disbelief. "Marvel, as in last year's quarterback at your school?" he asked quietly, wanting to be positive before completely losing it. "You cannot be serious, angel. Oh, shit..." His mind was spinning, and he could barely even concentrate.

"Yes, Marvel as in quarterback. Why? I take it you know him?" she asked, opening her eyes and wiggling around in his arms to face him with her hands resting against his chest. She was a bit scared; he looked completely livid.

"I know him pretty damn well," Cato said, his tone not one that he often used around his Clover. "He may or may not be my least favorite person on this planet, actually. I'm not sure I even want to know what he did to you, I might just kill him."

Clove swallowed. "H- How do you know him?" she asked, reaching up to stroke his cheek lightly. She didn't very much enjoy seeing him mad; she liked it better when he was relaxed and happy. She brushed her fingers lightly across his skin as she watched him take a careful breath, knowing he was trying his hardest to stay calm.

"I never really explained what happened with Glimmer, or anything about Europe," he said, his voice noticeably calmer. He took another deep breath as his confused angel nodded, then continued on. "I was on the football team senior year, and we had this huge party after graduation. Marvel was there, naturally, since he was on the team. He wasn't quarterback then, because I was, but that's beyond the point. I brought Glimmer to the party, since we were together at the time and...she slept with him, Clove. She cheated on me with someone younger, at my party. She knew what she was doing, too. She knew that it would hurt me. It really messed me up, Clover. I left to Europe because I couldn't handle being around all of the people that knew what had happened, that got to go on to college and be happy with their relationships after everything I'd known since sophmore year shattered in front of me. Marvel didn't have any remorse, he was just some kid who got lucky with a girl at a party. He thought it was really great that he hooked up with the quarterback's girlfriend."

Clove was shocked, disgusted, and confused beyond belief. When Cato and Gale had graduated, she'd just finished her first year of high school and Marvel was headed towards his last. She shook her head as she remembered how soon after that party he'd asked her out on a date after a bonfire at the beach that she'd been invited to when her social life was still impressive. It had barely been two weeks into summer, and she'd immediately said yes. She'd heard a couple rumors, but she was too excited by the idea of an older boy showing interest in her to pay them any mind.

"So if I'm correct, we've both been screwed over by the same guy," Cato said, still angry beyond belief. He wanted nothing more than to run Marvel over with his car at this point, because it truly hurt him to know that he'd done something to the loveliest girl he knew. "Want to tell me what happened?"

Clove nodded slightly, glad when Cato led her back to her bed and sat her on his lap. She wrapped the blankets around both of them, nestling her head in the crook of his neck before beginning her pitiful tale. "We started dating that summer, and to be honest he was a horrible boyfriend. But I didn't know anything, it was my first experience with a guy and I liked the idea of someone wanting to be with me. He took me out on cheap dates and told me what to wear, but I didn't really mind as long as he held my hand at school." She swallowed, shaking her head. "He never really kissed me, which made me sad because I hadn't been properly kissed yet. He always just pecked, like he hated the idea of anything else. He took me to this diner and felt me up in a booth in the back, then I had to call Gale to pick me up because afterward he said he had forgotten to do something important at home."

Cato squeezed his eyes shut, nauseous at the thought of Marvel's hands anywhere near his doll's body. He didn't know if he'd be able to control himself the next time he saw the guy, if Marvel was ever unlucky enough to cross his path. He kissed his little one's temple and tried to keep his anger in check as she continued her story, but he noticed as her voice became shaky and quiet, as if it hurt to talk about it too loudly.

"Then there was the stupid Halloween party that ruined everything." She took a breath, sighing as she felt Cato's fingers brushing along her bare side. "I dressed up as Slutty Bo-Peepshow, as per Marvel's request, and we didn't even kiss. He just walked around with me at his side and got completely wasted, then vomited upstairs. I stayed with him the whole time, and I guess somebody got the idea that we were doing something..."

Cato shook his head, not liking where this was going at all. He continued stroking her side as he felt her heartbeat quicken, wanting to do anything he could to soothe her, to make it easier for her to talk about what had happened.

"When I got to school on Monday everyone had something to say to me, about how it was really skanky what I'd done, losing my virginity to my boyfriend of four months in the bathroom at a party." She bit her lip, trying to hold back tears that resurfaced. "My phone never stopped vibrating with nasty texts from people I didn't know, random cheerleaders who claimed that Marvel slept with them, too, and people that I thought were my friends calling me a trashy whore. I hadn't done anything wrong, Cato, I just...I was just trying to be a good girlfriend, I was only trying to make him feel better when he was being sick... The worst part was that Marvel never denied it. When I stopped speaking to him he betrayed me in a way that I never thought even he was capable of, and he...he went on my Facebook and posted a bunch of links, for everyone to see, to eating disorder help websites and therapist references and articles about d- dieting. He called me and told me I was pathetic." Her eyes flooded with tears and she cried against his shoulder, shaking in his arms as he held her tightly. "He told everybody, Cato. I deleted my Facebook, changed my phone number, didn't show up to school, but when I came back everyone was so cold to me. Nobody felt bad, they just treated me like I was nothing. I lost all my friends because of him, and a stupid rumor that only started because he got too drunk."

Cato had no idea what to say. Marvel had not only let people assume something about her that wasn't true, exploiting her for their own immature entertainment, but he'd taken one of her most private, painful secrets and exploited that, too. He could understand now why she didn't seem to use her phone much, or go hang out with friends. She didn't have anybody, because of this massive idiot who felt that it was okay to damage people at his leisure. "Clover, I am so, so sorry," he murmured, resting his forehead against hers once she lifted her wet eyes from his shoulder. "You didn't deserve any of that, I'm sorry."

She sniffled and kissed him softly, but only for a moment. "I just don't know why he feels the need to constantly remind me," she whispered, her eyes a melancholy mess of smeared mascara and heavy tears. "It's not fair. It would be easier to get over losing my entire life because of him if he'd stop rubbing it in my face."

Cato nodded slightly, the sadness he felt for her overpowering. He couldn't believe what an awful time she'd had, trying to grow up in a world that seemed to have it out for her. "Baby, do you want to take a nap before your parents and Gale get back?" he asked, cupping her cheeks in both hands and wiping away some of the blackness beneath her eyes with his thumbs.

She nodded, sighing. "I think I'll have a shower, then rest," she said softly, biting her lip. "You should probably take my phone, just in case he calls again. I don't want to hear it," she mumbled, shaking her head.

"I've got quite a few things to say to him, anyways," he said, nodding and removing her from his lap before standing up from her bed. He walked to where she'd dropped her phone and picked it up, slipping it into his pocket and turning to her. "Have a nice nap, angel. Don't think too much," he said quietly before leaving her room, shutting the door behind him.

She ran a hand through her hair, closing her eyes and standing up as well. She hated how much she'd been crying lately, it was getting to be too much like the very bad times again. The bad times in the foggy, dark wonderland where everyone was mean and the rabbits were just vultures in disguise. She left her blankets in a pile on the floor and put on a fluffy white robe before gathering her most comfortable pajama pants and Cato's sweatshirt before making her way to the bathroom and soon letting her mind empty itself down the drain of the hot shower.

Cato walked downstairs, flipping on the T.V. to distract himself from the unpleasant and rage-induced thoughts in his head. He had a strong urge to punch something, but he didn't want to damage anything in the home he was a guest in, and he didn't want to scare his sweet, betrayed princess. He watched a few shows, a crime drama and two episodes of a reality show, before he felt a buzzing in his pocket. He pulled out his little one's phone to see an unknown number flashing on the screen, but he had a pretty good feeling of who it was as he pressed 'answer'.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: I'm sorry it's been so long! I had some awful writer's block and re-wrote the chapter around 4 times or so :') I hope you like it! Wow, Marvel's a little shit...**

_"I will stay_

_You have asked me to hold you_

_In a way_

_There's nothing else to do._

_The frost is slowly falling_

_In my heart it's calling you_

_Ice is slowly melting away_

_Let's forget all the things that we say."_

"Hello?" Cato said, his tone cold and sharp as he answered his darling's phone.

"Wait, who's this?" Marvel asked, confused to hear a male's voice at the other end. He looked down at his phone, checking that the number he'd dialed was correct on his screen. "Is Clove there?"

Cato took a breath, organizing his words in his mind and trying to keep himself fairly calm even though all he wanted to do was scream at the idiot on the other end of the line. He wanted to yell at him and threaten him and tell him how awful he was, but he couldn't risk creating more problems for his Clover. "This is Cato speaking, actually."

Marvel was completely taken aback, and confused as to why he was speaking to Cato as opposed to Clove. He would never admit it, but he'd been sort of terrified of Cato ever since he slept with Glimmer. "Why do you have Clove's phone?" he asked, his voice faltering a bit.

"I don't even want to hear you say her name," Cato said, his voice stony. "I don't think it matters why I have her phone, Marvel. I think the important thing is that you need to leave her alone, you piece of absolute shit."

Marvel furrowed his eyebrows. "What the fuck, Cato? What happened between me and her has nothing to do with you. You can't tell me not to talk to her."

"It has to do with me now, Marvel. And it wasn't just between you and her, it was between her and the entire fucking school, all of the people she thought she could trust. So don't even start with that. You fucked with me, and now you're trying to mess with her again and that really, really isn't going to work for me."

Marvel shook his head. "Why is it your problem, Cato? Why do you have her phone, and why are you acting like my ex has something to do with your grudge against me?"

Cato clenched his fist, taking a breath. "It's my problem because I care about my girlfriend, asshole. I want you to stop calling her, and I never want to hear about you saying anything regarding her ever again. I have her phone because she doesn't want to deal with you anymore, because you're fucking terrorizing her and I'm not letting that happen."

"Wait, your girlfriend?" Marvel was struggling to wrap his head around it all. If Cato was really dating her, then he was as good as dead, because if she'd told him what happened then Cato had twice the reasons to hate him. And he knew Cato wasn't one to let things go.

"Yes, my girlfriend. If you ever try to contact her again I will not be forgiving, Marvel. Next time I see you, I won't hesitate to knock you unconscious. Delete her number, and don't even think about trying to talk to her again."

"Don't fucking tell me what to do, I probably know more about her than you ever will. Sounds like she hasn't changed much, either. She's still pathetic," Marvel growled before hanging up, though his heart was beating fast and he had an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach. He was certain he'd just gotten himself into trouble with someone who could easily take him out, but he wasn't one to show fear.

Cato put the phone back in his pocket, clenching his jaw and leaning his head back on the couch. He couldn't believe how obnoxious Marvel was, and how he seemed to have no regrets about what he did to either of them. He was disgusted that he'd put his hands on his little flower, and it made him sick to just think about what people had thought they'd done. He went upstairs to check on her, having heard the shower stop about about try halfway through his conversation with Marvel.

She heard a knock on her door and sighed, getting out of bed and rubbing her eyes on the sleeve of her borrowed sweatshirt. "He called, didn't he?" she asked softly as she opened the door, noticing how angry Cato looked. When he nodded she wrapped her arms around his waist, hugging him tightly with her cheek against his chest. "I don't want to know what he said, do I?"

He shook his head, toying with the ends of his angel's still damp hair. "No, I don't think so. I'm sorry if he ever calls again, I did my best to get him to leave you alone." It unsettled him that Marvel hadn't seemed like he planned on letting Clove forget about what had happened any time soon, and it scared him because he wouldn't always be there to monitor her phone or who she ran into when she was out and about.

"It's okay, I'll block his number," she murmured, sighing. "Thanks for talking to him, I- I couldn't do it," she said, lifting her head to look up at him. She shut her eyes as he gently pressed his lips to hers, cradling the back of her head with one hand.

He kissed her slowly and deeply, smiling slightly as she opened her mouth for him to slide his tongue inside. He massaged her lower back lightly with his free hand, pulling her closer. "Kitten," he murmured, pulling back just enough to speak against her lips. "I don't want you to worry about him anymore, okay? He's not worth your tears. He's really not."

She placed a hand at the side of his neck and the other against his cheek, kissing him softly. "Thank you," she whispered, kissing him again. "You're so nice to me, thank you."

He returned her delicate kisses, spreading them from her lips to her cheeks, and her eyelids once they fluttered shut. "You don't have to thank me, angel. All I want to do is keep you safe, and try my best to make you happy."

She smiled slightly resting her cheek against his chest and shifting her hands to his shoulders. "I love you, Cato. I really do," she whispered, gasping with a small grin as he swept her legs from under her, holding her so that her feet dangled off to one side.

She trailed tender kisses down his neck as he carried her downstairs, sitting down with her curled up next to him on the couch just as Gale arrived home. She waved at Gale as he came inside, standing up to give him a hug with a small smile.

"Clo, are you okay?" he asked quietly, wrapping his arms around her. He'd noticed her red eyes immediately, and her smile didn't quite reach them. "What happened?" He hated that she was having a hard time recently, and it made him upset that he couldn't be home all day to help her. He knew that Cato cared about her very much, though, and that he probably helped her a lot when she was sad.

She took a breath, shaking her head slightly. "Marvel called me, he said some really mean stuff," she whispered, knowing Gale had never liked Marvel at all. "He brought up all the things that happened last year, all the bad stuff..." She trailed off as Gale stroked her hair, hugging him tighter. "I hate him so much, Gale."

"Clo, I'm sorry," he said, sighing. "I really am. You don't need to be reminded of all that." He let go of her after a while, glancing at Cato and smiling slightly, knowing Clove would be sobbing and hysterical if he hadn't been there for her. "I love you, Clo. Mom and dad love you, and Cato loves you. Katniss loves you, too. You don't need to listen to people who don't."

She nodded slightly, sighing. "Cato talked to him though, I don't think he'll bother me anymore," she said, rubbing her arms. She sat down on the couch next to Cato again, and Gale sat on her other side. "At least I have my boys," she said, chuckling slightly and leaning her head against Cato's shoulder. She smiled as Gale kissed the top of her head, sighing. She was very glad to have such a caring brother and wonderful boyfriend, and it made her feel safe to know that both of them would protect her from anyone who tried to hurt her.

She stayed on the couch until her parents get home, sandwiched comfortably between Cato and Gale. She toyed absently with the material of Cato's shirt, sighing as Gale ran his fingers through her hair. "You guys make me feel better," she mumbled, shutting her eyes and taking a deep breath.

"That's what we're here for, Clo," Gale said, dragging his fingers through her hair again. "I don't like when my little sis is sad, and I'm meant to keep her happy." He smiled, reassured to know that he was someone who could make her day more bearable when she was feeling down.

"And I don't want you to be sad, either," Cato said, kissing her forehead lightly. He waved at her parents as they came through the front door, Mrs. Rusakova toting several grocery bags.

"Gale, could you please help your father and I bring in the rest of the groceries? And Clove, your ballet teacher called," Eva said, setting several bags of groceries on the counter. "She misses you, she really wants you to come back to class. You were one of her best students, she really likes you."

Clove sighed, shrugging slightly. The idea of going back to dance was a bit scary, just because lately she'd been wavering between her old ways and her newly developed happiness with Cato; the mirrors and critiques and leering eyes of other dancers made her nervous to say the least, and she feared they could push her back over to the edge into the twisted wonderland she dreaded the most. "I haven't even worn pointe shoes in months, I can't just go back to class," she said, frowning slightly. "It would be embarrassing, I'd probably snap an ankle."

"Just take a few easier classes while you get your strength back, then," Eva responded, raising an eyebrow. "Or start practicing in the kitchen again, like you did when you first got your pointe shoes," she added, smiling. "At least consider it, alright?"

Clove nodded, smiling weakly. She didn't want to say no immediately; perhaps going back to ballet would help her get some of her confidence back after everything that had happened. It would probably get her parents off her back about eating for a little while if she started excelling in something again, which would make dealing with the nagging thoughts in her mind a bit easier. Sometimes it was just easier alone.

"You didn't tell me you're a ballerina," Cato said, tilting his head as Gale got up to help with the groceries. His doll couldn't be any more perfect in his eyes, despite everything she'd gone through. He loved everything about her, and the thought of her dancing across a stage in some glittering outfit, leaping and turning and receiving applause, made him smile. "I can see it though, you're a lovely little fairy."

She laughed slightly, leaning her head against his shoulder. "Well, I'm not currently dancing," she said with a light shake of her head. "I guess I should start again, though. I do miss it." She smiled and shut her eyes as he stroked the back of her hair softly, kissing her forehead and making her feel secure, as he always did.

He continued playing with her hair as he spoke, twirling soft strands around his finger and letting them fall away. "If it makes you happy, then I think you should go back," he said, nodding. They stayed on the couch, just enjoying the feeling of being together as Gale went upstairs to call Katniss as his parents talked quietly in the kitchen.

"I called her therapist yesterday, to give an update," Mr. Rusakov said, his voice hushed. "He said that it would be beneficial for her to get out of the house, try and see friends again, start back with dance. He doesn't want her to have so much empty time to think herself into...moods, and whatnot."

Eva sighed quietly. "She hasn't gone to him in ages, did you really need to call? Anyways, I talked to her about going back to dance, I just don't know about it. I mean, she compares herself to all of those girls, Vic, I don't know if it's good for her..."

Clove frowned, lifting her head. "I can hear you both," she called, shifting on the couch and facing the kitchen. "I have ears, I can hear everything you're saying."

Cato bit his lip, having heard most of their conversation as well. He felt bad, knowing his Clover hated when people discussed any of her troubles. He brushed his thumb across her cheek, taking a breath. "Kitten, it's alright, they're just trying to help," he whispered, searching her eyes.

"I want to go back to ballet next week," she said, shrugging. She wasn't lying, she truly wanted to dance again, she just knew that it might not be the most responsible decision she'd made. "I can handle it, I'll be fine. I miss dancing, and my friends from class. So I'll go back. And I won't get into 'moods', okay? I promise, I won't..."

Victor looked at Eva and raised his eyebrows, sighing. "Alright, sweetheart. We'll sign you up for your usual classes again. Cato, would you mind driving her?"

"No problem," Cato responded, nodding. "Which days?" He rubbed Clove's back lightly, trailing his fingers up and down the material of her sweatshirt in random patterns.

"Monday and Wednesday," Eva answered with a smile, knowing Clove would definitely prefer being driven by Cato that herself or her husband. "Monday's class is at 6 for an hour and a half, and Wednesday's is at 7 for two hours with a fifteen minute break."

Dinner that evening went fairly well, and Clove did her best to ignore Cato's intent glances as she picked at her chicken before finishing two servings of vegetables. She found his hand beneath the table and squeezed lightly, trying to reassure him that things were fine. She cleared away the dishes as Gale left to pick up Katniss for a date and her parents went upstairs, leaving her alone with Cato. She let out a breath, closing her eyes as he cupped her face in both hands and kissed her forehead softly.

"Princess, do you really want to go back to dance class?" he asked, his thumbs traveling across her cheeks. "You didn't sound so happy when your mom first asked if you wanted to go back."

She kept her eyes closed, not wanting to look at him and silently wishing it wasn't so impossible to lie when his fingers brushed against her skin. "I really want to go back, it's just...it's all mirrors, Cato. It's about looking perfect and doing things perfectly and sucking in and being better than everyone else in my class. I want to be able to handle it again, I just don't know if I can."

He nodded, understanding why she'd been debating returning to a place where she wasn't only criticized by herself, but by others as well. He was happy that his angel wanted to try and not let the pressure get to her, but in the back of his mind he knew she was being a bit reckless by throwing herself back into it without much thought. "Princess, will you promise me that it it gets to be too much you'll take a break?" he asked, sighing as she nodded.

She was relieved when his lips met hers tenderly, his lips chasing the overwhelming thoughts of food and ballet class and mirrors back into the corners of her mind. She tilted her head slightly, deepening the kiss as he hoisted her easily to sit on the counter. She stroked the side of his neck lightly as his hand quickly found it's way inside of her sweatshirt, each brush of his fingertips against her waist making her brain feel even more muddled.

His hand soon reached the swell of her breast and his fingers grazed and lightly kneaded the hardening peak he found there, eliciting sweet sounds from his lovely girl. "Kitten, hush," he murmured, smirking slightly and kissing her cheek. "Your parents are upstairs."

She took a shallow breath, resting her forehead on his. "I don't care," she breathed. "I sucked you off in the kitchen, ten feet from my brother. You feel me up in here all the time..."

"I don't know if I can handle when you talk like that," he said, pressing his lips to the hollow of her neck. It made him completely crazy in the best possible way when she talked about anything of that nature, anything that countered her innocent disposition. When her soft lips formed expletives, or whispered phrases about being too turned on to sit still, he felt a tug deep inside that made him need to touch her, and make it all happen again.

She gasped softly, holding back a moan as he pushed her knees apart and slid two fingers past the waistband of her pajamas and began a tantalizingly slow massage of the spot he'd grown to know so well. "Ah- Cato," she whispered, squirming slightly on the counter and tilting her head back as a pleasant feeling settled in her lower half. "Please, more..."

He chuckled slightly, shaking his head and continuing at his relaxed pace, nipping at her earlobe. "I'm going to make you cum, nice and slow," he whispered, swallowing as she whimpered her reply. He continued at the same speed, his fingers pressing and pinching lightly as she began fidgeting even more.

He unraveled her as usual, capturing her mouth in a searing kiss as she let out a soft cry and curled her toes. She panted quietly as the waves of pleasure and satisfaction dissipated through her body, realizing she'd been holding her breath for the final few movements of his fingers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let her body relax against him, sighing at the overwhelming feeling of contentment only he could bring.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Sorry for all the long waits recently, I've been having the worst writer's block. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I feel like many of you will :)**

_"Give me love like never before,_

_'cause lately I've been craving more,_

_And it's been a while but I still feel the same,_

_Maybe I should let you go."_

Cato held his still-mewling and flushed princess in his arms, trailing his fingers in abstract patterns across her back as she caught her breath. "Little one, I really love touching you like that," he whispered into her ear, smiling slightly. He loved being able to make her the way she was at the moment, breathless and coursing with bliss.

"Mm, I love it, too," she mumbled, her lips pressed to the crook of his neck. "You make me feel so crazy, Cato. It's indescribable." She sighed softly, welcoming the hazy, dazed feeling he'd brought to her with his skilled touch. She loved how she felt with him, even though along with the pleasure and comfort there were nerves as well. He always made her a bit anxious, just as he had the first night and all the times following. It hadn't been long at all since they'd begun this confusing relationship, and although he knew more about her than anyone else at this point, she still felt intimidated by his experience where she lacked it.

He carried her to the couch, holding her on his lap and stroking her cheek gently. He gazed at her face, taking in her rosy cheeks, freckled nose, and green-flecked eyes. He kissed the corner of her mouth lightly, never tiring of the feeling of her skin beneath his lips. "You're so beautiful, Clover. I love doing that to you, I love when you say my name," he murmured in her ear, knowing he'd give her goosebumps with his warm breath.

She sighed softly at his words, pressing her lips to his neck. "I love when you say my name, too," she said quietly, grinding her hips slowly against his. "Oh, I really love it when you say my name." She continued rolling her hips, gasping softly as she felt his firm grip holding her in place, helping her move against him.

He groaned slightly, shutting his eyes as he felt himself growing hard at her movements. He squeezed his hands slightly, the slight friction and pressure of her body engulfing his brain in desire. "Clo, you don't know how good that feels," he whispered, kissing her neck lightly.

She shivered unnoticeably, turning her head to press a kiss to his cheek before moving her lips to his ear in response. Her heart was beating quickly, an excited and needy thump in her chest. "Cato, I want to go all the way with you," she whispered, lightly stroking the back of his neck. "I want you to take me, I want it to be you." She'd been thinking about it too much recently, the prospect of losing her virginity. Each time he touched her she knew she wanted it to be him, but she was terrified, because he knew what he was doing and she was learning each time they engaged in any sort of activity. She knew he'd had sex before, it was obvious in his movements and it was an easy assumption based on his history with Glimmer and his looks alone. When he'd told her that she would never let anyone else have her, she took it to mean nobody else would have her innocence, or her purity. She was all his, she'd resigned willingly to that fact already.

He swallowed at his angel's request, surprised by her quiet desire. He was completely aware that he'd taken almost all of her other firsts, but the idea of ruining her in such a way, destroying the only thing that left her as innocent, made him feel strange. Their relationship, though he hated to admit it, had begun as purely lust. He'd acted on a secret yearning for the little Clover that he couldn't explain, nevertheless control. He'd already lost his self-control with her, and he'd already done reckless things that a more rational version of himself would have avoided at all costs. It disgusted him to think that he was taking advantage of her naive heart, taking her hand and leading her into something that his princess knew nothing about. He knew things about her now, things that made him care about her even more than he had, and that made him love her truly and deeply. But when he thought back to the first night, when he acted on wanton desire and bizarre instinct alone, he felt conflicted. It wasn't as if the thought of being with her in the truest form of intimacy hadn't entered his mind.

The long pause made her feel uneasy, as if she'd done something wrong. She began to worry, thinking that perhaps he was upset with her, or he didn't want to do anything more with her than what they'd already done because she was an unexperienced child and he was a man who could have anybody else. She chewed her lip, studying his face. "Please, say something." She whispered her plea, feeling her stomach grow heavy with dread.

He took a breath, cupping her cheek. "Baby, please don't feel like you have to offer that to me, as if I'm expecting it," he said quietly, gauging her response. "You're fifteen, kitten. You don't need to lose your virginity. It's not something important right now."

She frowned slightly, shaking her head. "What do you mean it's not important? All you do is touch me. You like touching me and making me feel good, and you like when I do it to you. And I know I'm fifteen, are you aware that you're twenty?" She was confused and frustrated; he was making it sound as if the thought of sleeping with her had never crossed his mind. She wasn't unintelligent, she knew that the pace of their relationship was incorrect from the very start, but she didn't mind. She didn't mind that he wrapped his arm around her in the kitchen, or stroked her thigh as he held her close without explanation before having shown any previous interest in her at all. She didn't care at all that the entire thing was baffling and wrong, because it was her wonderland, and she knew Cato was mad anyways. She knew he was mad, but it was fine because she figured she was mad, too.

Her comment stung with truth, but it also made him feel sad. It made him feel as though she saw herself as his little play-thing, and she saw the comforting and help with her troubles as something he did out of politeness rather than out of his care. "Darling, if you think that I'm using you-" he began, stopping when his kitten let out a frustrated groan.

"I know you aren't using me, but you want me, don't you? It's obvious that you want me," she said, completely confused. She wasn't sure if they were arguing, but whatever it was she didn't like it. The feeling in her stomach was unwelcome and uncomfortable, making her frown. She got off of his lap and sat next to him, staring at the floor and trying to push away the feeling that he was unhappy with her. "It sounds like you don't want to do that with me..."

"Of course I want to do that with you," he said quietly, holding his head in his hands. "Clover, all of this has happened because I want you. You're my princess, I want you more than anything. I just don't want you to make a decision without thinking it all the way through."

"But...but I just told you that I want to, doesn't that mean I've thought about it?" she asked, fiddling with the fringe on a pillow from the sofa. "I don't understand what you're trying to say, Cato. If you don't mind doing all of those other things with me, then why should this be different? Is it because I'm too young and you don't want to...to take my innocence away so early?" She swallowed, feeling tears forming in her eyes and the uncomfortable twisting feeling in her stomach travel to her throat. "Because you already have, you've taken it already. And I don't mind."

He felt his heart drop like a block of ice to his stomach as she spoke, her broken voice and wet lashes making him feel like the worst person on the planet. He took a deep breath and swallowed thickly, shaking his head. "You don't mind, Clover? You don't mind that I've made you a filthy girl because of what I wanted, because of my own desire to do those things to you?"

She shook her head, biting back a small sob. "You think you've made me filthy? Filthy to who, myself? I don't care, Cato, I don't care about myself anyways, let me be filthy. It's what I want, if that's what we're calling it. You're making it sound like you forced me, but you didn't. I've asked you to do those things, Cato, you're not some kind of predator." She closed her eyes, scratching at the couch as she continued. "So stop talking like all of this happened because of you, okay? Fine, I'm filthy, I'm a filthy, disgusting girl. But you want me, don't you? Everyone already thinks I'm a dirty whore already, what does it change if you fuck me and defile me a little more?" She was struggling to keep her voice quiet as she choked out her response, her mind a jumbled mess of vicious words and scathing thoughts.

He could feel her shaking next to him, and "Stop," he murmured, his voice firm. "Stop talking about yourself like that. Angel, please. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry." He brushed his thumb beneath her eyes, catching tears that had spilled onto her cheeks. He frowned and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, holding her as she let silent tears soak the sleeve of his shirt. "Do you feel like I've defiled you, Clover?"

She took a shuddering breath, shrugging slightly. "I don't know what I feel," she whispered, clinging to him. "I don't know if it's a bad thing. If I still wanted to be innocent, I wouldn't love you because of what you've done to me, and what I've done to you. But I do love you, I love you so much..."

He nodded slightly, squeezing her shoulder gently. "I love you, too," he said quietly. "I love you, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to make you feel bad, kitten. I want to make you feel good, and happy, and safe. I don't want to make you cry, which I've done."

She shook her head slightly, sniffling. "I made myself cry," she mumbled, focusing on her breath for a moment. She tried to use the techniques she learned in therapy, identifying why she was upset, rationalizing, and finding a solution to the problem without becoming any more hysterical. "I got all confused and upset, it wasn't your fault. You do make me feel good, and happy, and safe. This is all just so confusing for me, Cato. I don't want to think about it anymore. I like it better when we don't think at all."

He answered with a slow nod, resting his cheek on the top of her head and rubbing gentle circles on her back in some attempt to soothe her. Parts of their conversation were still playing in his mind as he sat, and he couldn't help but feel unsettled that this was the first time that his relationship with his little one had felt hyper-real, and the problems with it had been brought to light. He didn't like when she cried, and the fact that he'd been part (or all) of the reason made him want to rewind time, maybe back to before anything had happened at all.

She eventually went up to bed, kissing him softly as a silent goodnight before making her way up the stairs. She crawled into bed, feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, and not sure where things were headed from this point. She fell into a fitful sleep, dreaming that she was Alice once again in a labyrinth that she couldn't quite solve. She came to a fork in the path, a chilly wind making goosebumps rise on her skin. Down one potential path she couldn't see clearly at all; it was obscured by a thick fog and many thorned rose bushes, but she could hear the mad hatter, her Cato, calling for her through the fog. The other path was clear, but there were no dangerous flowers or madmen to meet her at the end. She felt the choice was easier than it should have been and began walking into the fog, but it burned her skin and made her crumple to the ground in pain.

Cato hadn't gone to sleep yet, and he woke to the sounds of pained screams from his angel's room. He crept from the guest room, where he'd retreated to after she'd gone up to bed, to her door, opening it slowly to see her thrashing about in bed and emitting the most devastating sounds he'd heard. He walked to her quickly and knelt beside her, grabbing her arm to keep her still. "Kitten, wake up, it's just a dream," he said shaking her slightly.

She woke up suddenly, gasping for breath and trying to wrench her arm away from his grasp before realizing whose hand was holding her so tightly. "Cato," she breathed, looking over at him. "You're hurting me."

He let go quickly, clenching his fist at his side. "I'm sorry, I just...you were screaming, I was trying to wake you...God, princess, I'm sorry." He ran a hand through his hair, sighing. "Do you want me to go?"

"No, it's okay," she said quickly, shaking her head. "Come here, I need you," she mumbled, lifting her covers. She curled against him as he climbed into bed with her, placing a hand at the small of her back. She slid one of her legs between his, placing both of her hands on his chest and soon falling back asleep to the soft thud of his heartbeat. She woke up before him and nudged him gently awake, kissing along his jaw as he opened his eyes. "Get out of here, before my parents wake up," she whispered, smiling slightly. She sighed as he kissed her neck, letting her eyes flutter shut once again. "Cato, they'll kill you," she murmured, trailing her fingers down his arm.

He chuckled slightly, sucking gently on the skin of her collarbone. "Just a couple minutes, doll," he murmured, trailing kisses up to her lips. "Baby, I'm sorry about last night," he whispered between soft kisses. "I really am."

She silenced him with a deep kiss, open-mouthed and passionate. She was relieved when he responded, placing a hand at her hip and squeezing gently. After a few moments she pulled back, catching her breath. "I don't want to talk about last night," she murmured, nipping at his bottom lip. "Can we talk about it another time? Or not at all?"

He kissed her softly, then nodded. "Alright, angel," he said quietly, stroking the skin of her hip above the hem of her sweats. "We'll forget it for now, if you'd like." He felt relieved that she didn't still seem upset, but he knew the topic would resurface eventually.

The next few weeks were seemingly uneventful. Clove's ballet classes left less time for her to sit idly at home, or in Cato's arms, but he enjoyed them nonetheless. He got to watch sometimes, when her class was shown on a monitor in the lobby, and it amazed him how effortless she made her hard work look. Glancing at her gliding gracefully across the floor, it might be hard to imagine her staying up late dancing in the kitchen as her mother had mentioned. She practiced diligently, doing all she could to earn her spot back as the best in the class, even though she'd never actually lost it. The only troubling part of her focus on dance was her constant inspections of herself, and awareness of her body at all times. She didn't realize, but Cato noticed her checking her reflection in every surface, even just quick glances. She turned sideways in front of the chrome-finished refrigerator, running a hand down her flat stomach before hastily turning away, or studied her legs in the reflective surface of his car door before he drove her to class.

After one of her dance classes, she rushed out to meet him in the waiting room and climbed to sit sideways on his lap despite the curious glances of her classmates. She smiled as he looped his arms around her waist, tracing the seams of her leotard. "You know what I just realized?" she asked quietly, her lips near his ear.

He raised an eyebrow, tilting his head slightly as he smirked at the expression of one of the girl's from her class. "What did you just realize, angel?" He chuckled slightly as she giggled into his ear, her breath warming his skin.

She took a breath, trying to ignore the quiet chattering of her classmates. "Tomorrow is our one month anniversary," she murmured, grinning slightly. "And I've got something really special to give you."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: Hello everyone, happy Clato anniversary :') I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, don't forget to review!**

_"Your hands are on my hips,_

_Your name is on my lips,_

_Over, over again_

_Like my only prayer._

_(Come on tell me, boy)_

_I've got a burning desire for you, baby."_

Cato woke on the morning of their anniversary to find a pink envelope placed on the bedside table in the guest room, undoubtedly by his lovely girl. He smiled slightly and picked it up, rubbing his eyes and sitting up in bed to open it. He tore open the seal and found a handwritten note in her well-practiced cursive.

"Happy anniversary, Cato. I love you so much, and I'm so glad that we've been together for a month. It honestly feels like it's been much longer. I have a couple gifts for you, but I'll give them to you at our 'surprise location' later on. I think you'll like them very much. You are the best man I could ever ask for, and I can't wait to spend the day with you. Love, kitten/princess/angel/baby/little one/dolly/darling/Clover."

He smiled and put the note back on the table, getting out of his bed and reaching beneath it for her gift, two medium sized boxes and one smaller one tied together with ribbon.

She woke up to her alarm, which she'd set on Cato's instruction for 9:00. Her chest fluttered almost instantly with excitement for their day, and she sat up with a smile and a quiet yawn. She heard a light knock on her door at around 9:02, but when she opened it she could hear the shower running and Cato wasn't there. What was there, however, was a set of three boxes that she quickly picked up. The two larger gifts were labeled 'this morning' and 'this evening', and the smaller one had nothing but a question mark. She shut her door and opened the box for the morning, smiling and opening the card that rested on top of the tissue paper covered gift.

"Good morning, angel. Happy one month anniversary, I feel very lucky to have been with you for a month already. I hope many months will follow. This gift is a very un-subtle hint at our location for today, and I hope you like it as much as I do. The box with the question mark is for some time during the day, and of course the other one is for the evening. You're the loveliest girl, and I'm so glad that you're mine. I love you, Clover. -Cato."

She unwrapped the tissue paper, uncovering a pale pink two-piece swimsuit. She lifted it, and smirked slightly, noticing that the back of the bottoms were cheeky to say the least. She showered and changed into the bikini, noting that the top didn't cover very much either. She'd easily figured out that they were going to the beach, and looked through her closet for something to wear on top. She chose a creme colored dress that was just a bit sheer, which she figured he wouldn't mind very much. She decided on a pair of metallic gold sandals and tied her hair into a high ponytail with a lace ribbon before applying waterproof mascara and a bit of cheek stain. After she finished a couple last minute preparations and grabbed her favorite sunglasses, she heard another knock on her door.

He looked at his lovely little girl, smirking slightly as he saw the edge of her bikini top peeking out from the neckline of her dress that didn't particularly hide it anyways. He placed his hands at her waist, kissing her gently. "Happy anniversary, baby," he murmured, smiling as she looped her arms around his neck and returned his kiss.

"Happy anniversary to you, too." She smiled and let go of him, moving away from his hands and collecting a very small box and another card from her desk drawer. "Do I need to bring anything else?" she asked, looking over at him.

"Nope, I've packed everything we need in my car already." He took her hand as they left her room, looking down at her and chuckling at the way her ponytail swung when she walked. "I like when you wear your hair like that, dolly," he said, letting go of her hand to swat at her hair.

She giggled, shaking her head a few times just to entertain him. "I'm glad," she said, grinning up at him before bouncing happily down the stairs.

He watched her as he made his way down the stairs to meet her, smiling again at her hair before letting his eyes travel down her body. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle seeing her in that swimsuit all day, but he was definitely enjoying it nevertheless. "You're aware that your dress is see-through, right?" he murmured, smirking.

She nodded, twirling the end of her ponytail. "Yeah, I'm aware. It's appropriate for the beach, right? And I figured you'd like it," she said, pecking his cheek and taking his hand.

He nodded, chuckling. "Well you're right about that. I like it very much, and it's definitely good for the beach." He led her out to the car and put the top down once they got in, smiling at her and cupping her chin. "We're going to have an amazing day, princess," he said quietly, gently pressing his lips to hers.

At the touch of his lips she placed a hand on his shoulder, returning his kiss before pulling back with a smile. "Yes, it'll be the most wonderful day ever," she murmured, her lips brushing against his as she spoke. She pulled away after a moment and put on her sunglasses, looking at him and raising her eyebrows as he started on the drive to the beach. "Do you like them?"

He glanced at her, grinning. "Aw, they're heart shaped, that's perfect," he said, nodding. "I love them." He found her knee with his right hand, drumming his fingers across her skin as he drove. "Hey, there's a cooler in the back with some berries and things if you'd like to have some breakfast," he said, looking at her again as he pulled onto the freeway.

She bit her lip but nodded, unbuckling her seatbelt and twisting around in her seat to reach for the cooler. She opened it and pulled out a package of raspberries, settling back down in her seat and opening them. "Thanks," she murmured, putting her seatbelt back on and opening the package. She stared out of the window and watched the cars go by, counting the berries that she ate as she followed the vehicles with her eyes.

His eyes flickered to her occasionally, noticing that the way she ate had become more calculated over the past few weeks. He could tell she counted her bites, and how many times she chewed before swallowing, but he didn't even consider mentioning it. Instead he turned up the radio, trailing a finger up and down the side of her thigh.

She put the package of berries back in the cooler when she was finished, smiling at him slightly and pressing her lips to his shoulder as she began to hum along to the song playing on the radio.

"That tickles, angel," he said, chuckling as she continued humming against his skin. When she nipped at his arm with her teeth he looked at her, a smirk playing on his lips. "Can I help you with something?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

She grinned up at him and shook her head, then bit his arm again as he turned his attention back to the road. "It really is a beautiful day," she said, leaning back in her seat and looking up at the sky.

They spent the day lying on their towels in the sand, and eventually she convinced him to let her bury him in the sand before peeling off her dress and lying on top of the sand that covered him. She pressed teasing kisses to his cheeks and forehead, but never his lips.

"Little one, can I please get out and give you a kiss?" he asked after a few minutes, laughing slightly due to the fact could feel her wiggling against his stomach. "We can go in the water if you let me out."

She eventually let him out from beneath her, pulling him by his hand into the waves as soon as he took off his shirt. She jumped up and nimbly wrapped her legs around his waist to hold herself up as he waded deeper into the water, grinning and kissing him with her hands on his shoulders.

They kissed in the water, and he let his hands wander to her backside once they were deep enough for her lower back to be concealed by the ocean. She pressed a kiss to the hollow of his neck before resting her head on his chest, sighing contentedly. "Can we go back now? I need to tan."

He carried her back to their towels, chuckling slightly as she jumped down, spread herself out on her towel, and put her sunglasses back on. "Those are too damn cute," he said, lying next to her and supporting himself on his elbows.

She smiled, nodding. "They're my favorites," she said, reaching for his his hand and entwining her fingers with his. They had lunch after a bit of relaxing, eating sandwiches (hers vegetables on whole wheat and his roast beef on sourdough) and finishing the rest of the fruit he'd packed.

She opened the small question-marked box after lunch, her eyes widening as she carefully lifted a necklace from it's velvet pillow. The tiny diamond caught the light as it dangled from it's rose gold chain, and she was completely ecstatic. "Cato, thank you so much," she said, holding it out to him so he could put it on for her. "It's perfect. That's the nicest gift I've ever gotten."

They spent a while watching people walk by, and made up stories about them, or invented conversations it looked like they could be having. She decided to feed the crusts of her sandwich to the seagulls on the shore but ended up running away as they surrounded her, giggling and tossing the crusts behind her. She ran all the way to the breaking waves, though she was careful not to go in far enough to get her glimmering necklace wet.

"It's getting dark," he said, noticing her shivering as she dried off from her second venture into the now cooler water. "I brought logs for a fire, want to help me dig a hole for them?"

They were soon cozy and warm, snuggled beneath a quilt by the orange glow of the fire. "Do you want to open your gift now?" she asked, looking up at him.

He unwrapped and opened the small box, then looked over at her with a slight smile as he picked up the little foil packet. "Kitten, you're giving me your innocence for our anniversary?" he asked, trailing his fingers lightly down her arm.

"What's left," she murmured, nodding. Her heart was beating quickly and she could barely look at him, fearing that he still wouldn't want to accept what she'd wanted to give him since before they first talked about it. "Read the card, too."

"Before I do, why strawberry flavored?" he asked, looking over the condom packet again.

She laughed quietly, shaking her head. "Katniss got me a box of them as a joke for my birthday," she said, finally looking at him. "I didn't think I'd have any use for them, but I may have been wrong." She moved to straddle his lap as he placed a hand on her hip, kissing him softly. "I'll have a use now, right?" she whispered.

He swallowed, stroking her bare sides. "It would seem that way, wouldn't it?" he asked, the hint of a smile on his lips. He traced the chain of her necklace with his finger, watching her face as she handed him the envelope with her card.

It made him smile as he looked it over, moving closer to the firelight to see better. It was a small painting of them both, and he was pulling petals off of a flower she held in her hand. In decorative writing at the bottom is read 'deflower me, please.'

"I will, dolly," he whispered, looking at her again. "I will."

"Should I open your last box now?" she asked softly, kissing his neck and sucking lightly on his skin.

He sighed at the feeling of her tender kiss, toying with the string at the back of her bikini top. "I think you should open it when we get home, actually," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her jaw before moving his lips next to her ear. "It's something to wear to sleep, if you were curious," he whispered.

She smiled slightly, nodding and pulling away from him enough to capture his lips in a slow, deep kiss. "I love you," she mumbled into the kiss, wrapping her legs around his back.

"I love you, too." He responded to her passionate kiss with his own, parting her lips with his tongue and caressing the side of her neck. "And you've been killing me in that bikini all day, darling." He tugged lightly on the string as he spoke, wrapping one end around his finger.

"You can take it off of me, if you'd like," she whispered. "There's nobody here but us." She smiled slightly as he untied both of the strings, leaving their close proximity as the only means of holding the garment to her body. She pulled back enough to let it fall away, glad it was too dark for him to see her blush.

He kissed his angel's neck lightly, sliding his hand from her back to her breast, kneading softly and letting his teeth graze the skin at her throat. He let out a small groan as she shifted on his lap, giving him a brief taste of the friction he'd been craving since the moment he saw her that morning. "Baby, lie down on the blanket," he whispered against her skin, smiling as she complied.

She sighed softly as he trailed kisses that made her whole body warm with need from her knees along her inner thighs. As he trailed his tongue along the ruffled hem of her bikini bottoms, she shivered slightly and squeezed her eyes shut. She began playing with the chain of her necklace as her breaths quickened and her bikini bottoms were swiftly removed, needing something to do with her fingers as she felt his breath at her center.

He nudged her legs further apart, placing his palms on her inner thighs as he delved into his sweet girl's slick folds. He maneuvered his tongue expertly, curling it in the way he knew made his princess gasp and whisper his name. He latched onto her bundle of nerves with his lips, sucking with various intensities and sliding two fingers into her once he knew she was close to her limit.

She whined softly as his mouth left her and he removed his fingers, an overwhelming feeling of need clouding her other senses. "Cato, why did you-" she was cut off by his wet fingers pushed against her mouth, and she parted her lips to lick them clean. Once she was finished, she began again. "Why did you stop?"

"It'll make it easier, you're extremely turned on and it hurts less when you're nice and wet," he whispered, his voice husky in her ear. He removed his swim trunks and peeled open the foil packet, quickly rolling on the condom before kissing her gently. "Angel, hold my shoulders. You can bite my hand if you'd like," he murmured, guiding the tip of his member to tease at her entrance with one hand and placing his other hand lightly over her mouth.

She nodded slightly and gripped his shoulders, kissing his hand gently before he began, slowly and carefully, sheathing himself inside of her. She cried out softly and bit down on his hand as he went further, the sudden pain she felt making tears well in her tightly shut eyes.

He hated that he was hurting her, but he knew it was what she wanted. He held back a loud groan as he slid into her, the feeling of her around him better than anything he'd felt before. He didn't flinch as she dug her nails into his shoulders, burying himself completely inside of his darling and moving his free hand to caress her cheek. "Tell me if I need to stop," he murmured, pulling out completely and slowly entering her again.

She bit harder on his hand, a whimper escaping her lips as he repeated his movements and a single tear rolled down her cheek. "Don't stop, please," she whispered, knowing the pain would subside eventually even though it was awful at the time. She opened her eyes after he filled her several more times, focusing on the light and gentle caress of his fingers on her cheek. She stopped biting his hand, smiling up at him reassuringly as he pulled it away and placed it at her hip and the pain became a dull ache.

He looked down at her and smiled as well, trailing his light caresses down her neck and to her chest. When he heard his kitten utter a small moan he allowed himself to do the same, the sound deep in his throat as he built up a slow rhythm with his hips. "Are you doing okay?" he murmured, squeezing her hip gently.

She nodded, biting her lip. "It doesn't hurt much anymore, it's...oh, god," she breathed, feeling him hit the spot inside of her that had made her come completely undone many times before. "It feels good..." She was still in pain, of course, and she kept her nails pressed into his skin, but there was a pleasure mingling with the pain that made her understand why people were so fixated on such activity.

"You're doing so well, angel," he murmured, groaning deeply and quickening his pace slightly. He moved his hand between her legs to rub slow circles as he continued, trying to do anything he could to distract from the pain. He knew he wasn't going to last long due to the delightful tightness of his girl, but he didn't want to only please himself.

She began lifting her hips in time with his as the circling of his finger continued, feeling herself approaching her climax. "Cato," she whispered, swallowing and arching her back. "Oh, fuck, Cato..."

He couldn't hold off any longer once he heard her words and he reached his peak buried deep inside of her, shuddering slightly and continuing to move his hips slowly until he brought her to hers and felt her tightening walls drawing every result of the unmatchable pleasure out of him. He pulled out of her slowly and leaned down to kiss her deeply, cupping her cheeks in both hands.

"I love you," she mumbled against his lips, her breathing heavy. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

They laid on the blanket for a while, holding eachother close and listening as their breathing returned to normal. She kissed him over and over, her soft lips meeting every inch of skin from his face to his chest as she rested in his arms. He kissed the top of her head gently before sitting up, taking a deep breath. "Let's go home, dolly."

They got dressed and packed up their things, and she curled her hand around his as they walked back to the car. She pulled her knees to her chest and shut her eyes for the duration of the ride home, exhausted and happy and completely sore. He glanced at her a few times, smiling as she noticed her absentmindedly toying with the chain of her necklace again.

He handed her the box containing her last gift and carried her up to her room once they arrived at her home, smiling as she eagerly changed into the short, floaty nightdress he'd bought for her. "You look like a fairy," he murmured, untying the ribbon from her hair. "You're the most beautiful girl in the world, Clover."

She smiled, placing her hands on his chest and brushing her lips against his. "And you're the most amazing man in the world, Cato."


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: I had my computer and phone taken away :') But I'm back now and I've already started writing Ch. 22, so hopefully I'll be updating frequently again. Please keep reviewing, I enjoy hearing what you think. I love you all, kisses!**

_"I've been feeling everything_

_From hate to love_

_From love to lust_

_From lust to truth_

_I guess that's how I know you_

_So I hold you close to help you give it up."_

Cato tucked his little one into bed, just as he had the very first night he had realized his need for her. He kissed her forehead and turned off her light, then walked back downstairs. He wasn't surprised to see Gale heating up food in the microwave, chuckling and walking to grab a glass from the cabinet.

"How was the anniversary?" Gale asked, glancing away from his food. "You went to the beach, yeah?"

Cato nodded, smiling. "Yeah. We had a really good time, but she almost got attacked by some seagulls." He grinned as Gale laughed and took out his now heated food. "Other than that it was nice."

"What'd you guys get eachother?" Gale asked, grabbing a fork and starting in on his leftover macaroni and cheese. "She was stressed about your gift, last time I heard."

"She painted me something really sweet and made me a card," he said, smirking slightly at the slightly (or completely) horrifying idea of her brother finding out what she'd actually given him to celebrate the time they'd had together so far. "And I gave her a necklace, and a card as well."

Gale nodded. "She loves jewelry, that was definitely a good choice. I'm glad you guys had a good time," he said, smiling and heading off to his room. He was happy that they were still together and things were going well; the last thing his little sister needed was for her poor heart to be shattered again and her trust to be broken. He feared that if Cato, the first romantic involvement of hers who truly demonstrated care for her, did anything wrong or damaged her in any way she wouldn't be able to put herself back together.

Cato went upstairs after getting a drink of water, carefully opening the door to his little one's room and peeking inside. "Are you still awake, baby?" he whispered.

She sat up slightly, nodding and taking a deep breath. "Yeah, come in," she said softly. She'd been thinking about everything that had happened, and it was a bit overwhelming. She felt like everything was hyper-real now, and the fact that she'd lost her virginity to a man who was two years past the point that his actions would be deemed illegal made her wish there weren't realities and she could stay in wonderland instead. She felt strange in a way that she couldn't quite pinpoint, and it made her uneasy.

He entered her room and shut her door quietly, walking to her bed and looking down at her. "Do you feel okay?" he murmured quietly, noticing the corners of his doll's lips were turned down in a slight frown.

She nodded slightly, playing with the hem of her nightdress beneath her blanket and sighing softly. "I just hurt, a little bit," she whispered, shrugging. "On the inside. I'm aching. It'll go away soon, right?"

He nodded slowly, brushing his fingers along her jaw. "I'm so sorry, princess." He got beneath the covers with her, lying on his side and skating his hand from one of her hips to the other. He frowned as she winced almost unnoticeably, moving his hand away. "Clo?"

She swallowed, looking at him through wide eyes. "I think I've got bruises," she said quietly. "Or I'm going to have some tomorrow. From your hands." She didn't mind that part very much at all, knowing that the reason he'd been holding her so tightly was because she was making him feel good. She pressed down with one of her fingers on her hipbone, biting her lip.

He took her wrist and gently pulled her hand away from her hip, moving it to rest on her thigh. "I didn't mean to be rough with you, baby girl," he murmured, shaking his head slightly. "I'm just so sorry." He looked over at her, seeing that her eyes were closed and her lip quivered as if she were about to cry.

"Stop saying you're sorry," she whispered. "You weren't rough with me, you took my virginity. It's different. It makes it sound like you regret it, like you regret being with me like that." She didn't know how she was feeling at all; she was frustrated that she couldn't fully explain to him what was going on in her head.

He swallowed, brushing his thumb across her lips. "I don't regret it, angel," he murmured, smiling weakly and shaking his head. "God, I don't know if I could regret it. I just don't like hurting you." He knew there was something else bothering her besides the soreness and the bruises, and he didn't like the fact that it most likely had to do with him.

She took a deep breath, turning over onto her side and pressing her back to his chest. "I don't mind," she said quietly, picking up his hand and wrapping his arm around her waist. She smiled slightly as she felt his hand press lightly below her ribcage, letting her know he believed her."If that was hurting me, you can hurt me whenever you want." She heard his breathing change slightly after she spoke, and his heartbeat quickened against her back.

He swallowed, pressing his lips to the back of her neck. "Kitten, do you want to know how amazing it was for me?" He whispered, his voice husky as his lips moved near her ear. When she nodded he smiled slightly, kissing her neck again. "First of all, I had a semi almost all day because of your swimsuit." Her soft laugh made him chuckle and he moved his hand up slightly, his fingers grazing the bottom curve of her breast through the material of her nightdress. "So by the time you gave me your gift, I was dying to get my hands on you. It was better than anything else, to be inside of you and feel you around me." His voice was low and he kissed the side of her neck between his words, leaving his lips pressed to her skin. "It took all of my will to last as long as I did. You're an absolute dream. When you came, it was fucking perfect, Clover."

She smiled softly, enjoying the feeling of his light caresses and the searing kisses that covered her neck. "Mmm," she mumbled, arching against him slightly as his teeth grazed her skin. "I didn't think I was going to cum my first time," she said softly, placing her hand on top of his as he squeezed her breast gently. "Katniss told me that, at least. It was the best feeling in the world, even if I was hurting."

He smiled slightly, squeezing again just to hear the way his perfect girl's breath hitched as he did so. "I'm glad," he murmured. "You sound so beautiful when you do, too. I think it's my favorite thing to hear. I love how you moan, and I love how you say my name."

She nodded slightly, biting her lip. "Hm, like this?" she asked, her voice soft. "Oh, Cato, just like that, Cato," she breathed, pressing herself against him as he continued kneading her breast. She kept her hand on top of his, grinding her hips slowly against him.

He groaned quietly, first at the sound of her voice and next at the movements of her against his quickly hardening member. "Kitten, you're teasing," he whispered, burying his face in her hair. "You make me insane, little one."

She slowed her hips even more, taking his hand from her breast and bringing it to her mouth to gently kiss his palm. "So are you, but I can't do anything about it." She stayed still, sighing softly. "You can go to the bathroom if you'd like, and think about what it felt like to be inside of me," she whispered. "Or I can help you, it isn't like my mouth is sore..."

He chuckled slightly, shaking his head. "I'm not going to ask for any more from you tonight, princess. You're sleepy. But if you keep talking like that I may just have to excuse myself."

She grinned slightly, yawning and shutting her eyes. "Maybe I'll have a dream about you fucking me again," she whispered, stroking the back of his hand. "Maybe I'll start moaning in by sleep, dreaming about you deep inside of me, and touching me..."

He let out another groan, knowing he was getting harder still. "Kitten, you're too much," he whispered. "Now you just want me to leave so you can tease me about it later, don't you?"

She giggled slightly, shrugging. "Perhaps as revenge for the time I had to touch myself because of you," she said, smirking slightly as he got out of bed. "Oh, now you're thinking about that, too. Sorry." She looked up at him, reaching out to stroke his member gently through his sweats. "Hurry back," she whispered, smiling and curling up beneath the covers.

He inhaled as her hand met the front of his sweats, letting out his breath once he entered the bathroom and locked the door. He leaned back against the wall and tugged his pants down, gripping himself and slowly moving his hand along his shaft. He thought of his darling girl's soft, small hand around him rather than his own rough one. He thought of her pink lips, and the kisses she liked to spread across his chest, and down his abdomen. He let out a small groan, picturing her small body rocking back and forth beneath him on the beach as he slid in and out of her. It didn't take him long to finish, the idea of her own fingers doing to her what he'd often done with his own being enough to send him over the edge.

She opened her sleepy eyes as he re-entered the room, smiling softly as she looked from his face to his groin. "Looks like you took good care of that," she murmured, happily curling up with her back to his chest once again as he crawled beneath the covers.

He chuckled slightly at her comment as he nodded and wrapped an arm around her waist. "Now we're even," he whispered, closing his eyes. He heard her mutter something in response (perhaps "I love you, you bastard.") before her breathing became calm and she was blanketed in slumber. "I love you, too," he whispered, smiling as he drifted off himself.

She woke up to the uncomfortable feeling of her stomach growling, frowning slightly as she opened her eyes with a yawn. She closed her eyes again and tried to block out the nagging thoughts that crept into her mind (you aren't hungry, you aren't hungry, you aren't hungry, you're just greedy) but found that they were much too loud. She wiggled out from Cato's comfortable hold and stood up, walking to her mirror and looking at herself. She slipped on a pair of panties from her drawer, having just been sleeping in the chiffon gift from Cato. She returned to her mirror, lifting up the short hem of the nightdress to find, as she expected, bruises on her hips in the shape of the pads of his thumbs. She smiled slightly and traced one of them with her finger, liking it in the same way she liked the marks he often left on her neck. She tried her best not to let her eyes zero in on the parts of her body that she wanted to fix, like her legs and her stomach, and she stared at the bruises instead. The reminder that someone cared for her, or at least wanted her, was enough to send the ill-intentioned clouds of thought away for a while.

He rolled over as he woke up, not feeling her in the bed and sitting up slightly as he opened his eyes. He rubbed his eyes and yawned quietly, watching his girl assess herself in the mirror. The amount of time she spent looking at herself made him sad, because he knew that a good amount of her thoughts as she did so were negative. He stood up, walking up behind her and tilting her chin up with a finger so that her eyes met his in the mirror. "Good morning, baby," he whispered, waiting until she relaxed her arms to slide his arms around her waist.

She sighed softly, placing her hands on top of his and looking up at him. "Good morning," she whispered, pressing her lips to his jaw and turning around in his arms. She looked up at him and moving her hands to his shoulders. "Did you sleep well?" she asked, raising an eyebrow with the hint of a smirk.

He nodded, kissing her forehead. "Yes, I slept very well. All thanks to your wonderful suggestions," he said, returning her half-smirk. He held her in his arms for a while, enjoying the warmth she always made him feel. "Angel, do you want me to make something for breakfast?" he asked quietly, combing his fingers through her hair.

She shook her head slightly, though a grumble from her stomach said differently. "Can I just have some tea? I'm not hungry," she said, though she knew her blatant lie was about as solid as smoke. She bit her lip and looked down as he frowned, already aware that he could read her easily.

"That is a lie, and you and I both know," he said, his voice gentle. "I can hear your stomach, little bird. You need to eat something." He ran his fingers through her hair again, twisting a strand around his finger. "Or have a smoothie. Anything."

She shuddered slightly, more at her thoughts than anything else, but nodded. "Okay, I'll have a smoothie," she said quietly, offering a weak smile. "I'll even put peanut butter in, if we have some." When he let go of her she pulled off the nightdress, putting on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt before making her way down to the kitchen with Cato following behind her.

He watched her as she prepared her smoothie, smiling slightly as she began to hum a song he didn't know. She moved her hips a bit as she added a banana to the blender, looking over her shoulder to catch his eye and make him smile even more. He walked to her as she finished blending her drink and poured herself a glass, placing his hands lightly at her waist. "You're much too cute, you know?" he murmured, smiling slightly. "I don't know if I've told you before."

"You've definitely told me," she said, a hint of a smile on her lips as she took a tiny sip of her smoothie. She relaxed noticeably as his fingertips brushed along her hips, then up and down her sides. She focused on the feeling of his hands now resting on her bare skin rather than her breakfast, and she soon finished and set down the glass. She turned around in his arms, cupping his face in both of her cool hands and leaning up to kiss him softly.

He continued stroking her waist as he returned her tender kiss, his fingers skimming along the curve of her waist. "Little one," he murmured once she pulled back slightly from the kiss. "I love you so much." He smiled against her mouth as she brought it to his in a heated kiss, running his tongue across her upper lip.

She pressed herself completely against him, standing on her toes and tilting her head as his tongue entered her mouth. She moaned quietly as he explored the sensitive places he'd discovered over and over again with the tip of his tongue, playing with the hair at the back of his head. "Mm, Cato, I can't," she mumbled, pulling back and trailing kisses along his jaw. "I'm going to get all excited and I won't be able to do anything about it."

He nodded, sighing and bringing a hand up to hold her cheek. "Sorry, kitten," he whispered, pressing a chaste kiss to her forehead. "Want to have a bath or something?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. "Or sit on a bag of peas?" he added with the hint of a smirk.

She gasped, smacking his arm lightly with a small laugh. "I am not going to sit on frozen peas just because you're too big and you made me sore," she said, shrugging slightly and looking up at him.

He chuckled, shaking his head. "I'm not too big, princess. You're just really tiny. It's a fact." He grinned as she stuck her tongue out at him, moving away from him and crossing her arms.

"Am I too tiny for you, big boy?" she asked, a small smirk on her lips as well. "Is your little girl too little?" She looked up at him expectantly, cocking her head to the side.

He crossed his arms as well, mirroring her. "No, not at all," he said, shaking his head. "It's a very good thing, dolly. Trust me, it's very nice that you're small."

She giggled quietly, feeling her cheeks flush. "Now I don't know what parts of me we're talking about," she said, playing with a piece of her hair and looking up at him with widened eyes.

He grinned, shrugging. "Oh, all of them," he murmured, looking down at her. "Just some in particular that I really love." He uncrossed his arms and moved closer to her, brushing his thumb over her lips. "Like your mouth," he whispered.

"Hm, where else?" she murmured, kissing the tip of his thumb gently. "And my mouth is big enough for what I need it for," she said quietly as his hand moved to her chest, the material of her shirt being the only thing between his palm and her sensitive skin. She sighed quietly and closed her eyes as he felt her chest, placing her hand on top of his.

"And you know where else, baby girl. But I can't touch you there right now," he whispered, sliding his hands down her stomach before resting them at her waist once more. "So you should go have a bath, I'll keep you company if you want."

She smiled, nodding and pulling away from him to walk upstairs. "Come up in a few minutes," she said, walking back to him to plant a kiss on his cheek before scurrying upstairs to the bathroom and shutting the door behind her.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: Hello hello all of you! I've been getting messages from some of you on my tumblr (chloekloss) which makes me smile, but it would be even better if you guys came off of anon (: I hope you like this chapter, I'm sorry it took me so long to write. Enjoy xx**

_"Let's get out of this town, baby we're on fire_

_Everyone around here seems to be going down, down_

_If you stick with me, I can take you higher, and higher_

_It feels like all of our friends are lost_

_Nobody's found, found, found."_

Clove heard her phone ringing from her bedroom as she began running the water for her bath and went to grab it, holding it to her ear once she was in the bathroom again. "Hello?" she said, dipping a toe into the water to test its heat as she heard a female voice greet her. "Wait, is this Cash?"

"Of course it is, who else would it be?" said the girl at the other end, laughing. "Listen, I'm sorry we haven't talked it a while, I just got super busy and stuff. We should hang out soon, though."

Clove furrowed her eyebrows in disbelief. The girl who she'd considered her best friend for all of freshman year was acting as though nothing had happened, as though she hadn't dropped Clove like a hot coal the moment she found out about the disorder that was ruining her piece by piece, and the rumor that took care of the rest of her dignity. "Why are you calling me?" she asked, trying not to let her voice waver. She didn't know where people were getting her new phone number, or why they were calling her, but it made her feel sick.

Cashmere grinned, putting her phone on speaker and setting it next to her on her bed. "Oh, just saying hey," she said, stifling a laugh. "Oh, and I wanted to ask you a couple things. Firstly, have you gotten fat yet? And secondly, is your boyfriend a paedophile or are you just a slut?"

Clove froze as her veins prickled with newly formed icicles. She shivered, though the bathroom was warming up due to the steam from the bath. "Why are you guys doing this?" She asked, unable to keep her voice from shaking. "I haven't done anything wrong," she mumbled, her heart beating at an unpleasantly rapid rate.

Cashmere held in another laugh, rolling her eyes. "I'm just calling you out of curiosity, Clo. So, answer my questions, would you? Are your precious size zero's still fitting? And what's the verdict on the paedophilia? I mean, if it's not bad enough that you're fifteen, you still look ten."

Clove hung up her phone and placed it on the counter, closing her eyes for a moment. She hated that they were all messing around with her like it was some sort of twisted game. She tried not to think about it, undressing and lowering herself into the hot water that filled her bathtub, but Cashmere's words were etched into her mind. She looked down at herself, pinching at her legs and stomach, wondering if she'd gained weight like Cashmere had asked. She hadn't been able to use a scale since the first time her issues were brought to her parent's attention, and it made her anxious sometimes. She sighed quietly and rested her hands on her knees, leaning her head back and looking up at the ceiling.

He knocked softly and opened the door, frowning slightly as he noticed her unsettled expression. "Kitten, what's wrong?" he asked, sitting on the floor beside the bathtub. He figured it had something to do with the fact that she had breakfast, knowing that she hadn't initially wanted to.

She took a deep breath, pulling her legs to her chest and laying her cheek on her knees, looking over at him. "This girl called me, who I used to be best friends with, and she said some really mean things," she said, her voice distant. "I don't understand why anybody has my phone number in the first place, and why they feel the need to make me feel like absolute shit. I hate it, Cato. I hate knowing that they all think I'm so worthless that they can just ask if I've gotten fat, or if my boyfriend is a paedophile. It isn't fair."

He took a deep breath, shaking his head. "It really isn't, baby girl. They don't deserve to say things like that to you, or talk to you at all." It disgusted him how vicious the people in their town were, and he didn't like that for some reason Clove was becoming the victim of some sort of strung out series of taunting. "I hate what they're doing to you, too. I wish I could get them to stop, I just don't think I can beat up a bunch of highschool kids." He sighed, noticing her eyes welling with tears. "But I'll do everything I can to protect you, okay?"

She nodded slightly, biting her lip to try to keep from crying. She stayed quiet for a while, studying his face. "I don't want to go back to school," she whispered. "I want to transfer or something. Everyone thinks I'm such a whore, and I know Cashmere is already telling everyone about us if Marvel hasn't already. I don't know what to do, I can't go back." She couldn't handle the idea of returning to school and facing a group of people that already believed things about her that weren't true, now with even more details about her personal life to taunt her with.

He kneaded his lip, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. "You are not a whore, Clover. I don't care how many people say it, it's a lie. I'm so sorry kitten, because this is partially my fault. I wish I could make it better, and make them all go away." He watched sadly as she let go of her legs and slid beneath the surface of the water, her hair fanning out around her head once her face was submerged.

She stayed under the water for as long as she could hold her breath, scooting back and lifting her head above the surface to take a breath when she needed to. "I don't even have five friends right now," she mumbled, sighing as she felt his fingers combing through her wet hair. "I just have you and Kat, and one really great friend from ballet who I haven't seen in a while, even though we used to hang out all the time. It's pathetic."

He shook his head, trailing his fingers from her hair down to her shoulder. "It isn't pathetic. Don't say that, dolly. You aren't pathetic, you're having troubles and people are harassing you and it's difficult to deal with."

She nodded slowly, a single tear rolling down her cheek and dropping into the water of the bath. "Can you wash my hair?" she asked quietly, pointing at her bottle of shampoo. "I don't want to talk about it anymore, if that's okay."

He nodded, and soon he was massaging her scalp as sweet smelling suds appeared on her head as well as his hands. "Does that feel nice?" he murmured, his thumbs rubbing circles against the nape of her neck.

"Mhmm," she mumbled, relaxing slightly and walking her fingers up and down her legs. "Thanks," she whispered after a couple more minutes, her mind feeling less heavy as he worked the shampoo into her hair. "You've got the best hands, you know?"

He smiled slightly, pulling his hands away and rinsing them in the water before she leaned back and let the bubbles dissipate from her hair and dissolve into the water. "So that's why your hair always smells so delicious," he said, relieved when he saw a small smile form on her lips.

"Did you think my hair just naturally smelled like roses and vanilla?" she asked, pulling the stopper from the bath to let the water drain.

He chuckled quietly. "Maybe, you could be some sort of fairy or something with naturally rosy smelling hair," he said, standing up and holding out a towel for her. He wrapped it around her body and held her close to him, kissing the top of her damp hair. They both stayed quiet for a while, just enjoying the feeling of being close to eachother. "Baby, please don't worry about what Cashmere said to you," he murmured. "Maybe you could talk to your friend from dance and see what she's up to tonight, I think you could use some fun."

She nodded slightly, finishing drying off once he dropped his arms to his sides. She let the towel fall and looked in the foggy mirror, subconsciously running a hand down her stomach. She closed her eyes as Cato grabbed her wrist and moved her hand to her side, sighing quietly.

He placed his hands at his girl's ribs, kissing the side of her head. "Kitten, you look wonderful," he murmured, looking into the mirror over her shoulder. "You are perfect, and you'll always be perfect. You don't think so, I'm sure you think the opposite, but you're absolutely perfect."

She leaned back against him, looking away from the mirror. "Alright," she said softly, nodding slightly. She let him hold her a while longer, his fingers moving lightly against her clean skin. "I'll get dressed and call Annie," she says, tilting her head up and offering him a small smile which he soon returned. "She always asks me about you, maybe you guys can talk or something," she said, laughing slightly.

He raised an eyebrow. "I'd like to meet your friend," he said, nodding and letting go of her. "Now go get dressed, little one, you're making me a little crazy," he said, slapping her backside playfully as she left the bathroom with a giggle, covering her chest.

She walked to her drawer, choosing one of the matching underwear sets that Cato had bought her, hooking the bra behind her as Cato leaned against her door frame. She gave him a small smile before she moved on to her closet, looking through her clothes. She picked out a floral romper, quickly getting dressed and turning back to face him. "What should I do with my hair?" she asked, looking in her full length mirror and turning a bit sideways.

"Pigtails," he said, grinning slightly as his pretty doll grabbed a brush from her bedside table and passed it through her still damp hair. When she secured her pigtails in place with elastics he smiled, walking to her and cupping her cheeks. "You're so damn lovely, baby girl. Finish up getting ready, I'm going to get dressed," he said, kissing her softly.

She returned his kiss, her fingers brushing against his jaw as he pulled back and left her room. She sighed, twisting each of her pigtails around her finger as she walked to the bathroom to do her makeup. She hummed to herself as she dusted eyeshadow across her lids and lined her eyes, feeling much better than she had right after receiving Cashmere's call. Once she was done with her mascara, she picked up her phone and dialed Annie's number.

"Hey, you," Annie said, smiling as she answered her phone. "What's up?" She really loved Clove, having known her since they both started dancing in the beginning class as little girls. They'd gotten into trouble together in class, mocking their teacher and falling into fits of giggles when she turned around and noticed them. That turned into hanging out after class, and once they got to highschool they started messing around with alcohol (Clove's favorite) and boys (Annie's). It was a good friendship, and although they didn't go to the same school they each considered the other an extremely close friend.

Clove smiled, walking back to her room and sitting on her bed. "Not much, I was just wondering if you're up to anything today," she said, toying with a stray thread on her blanket.

"Oh, I'm actually having a party tonight, if you want to come," she said, holding her phone between her ear and her shoulder as she sewed the ribbons into her new point shoes. "It'll be like old times, I think Finn's coming. You should bring your boyfriend," she said, grinning slightly. "I want to interrogate him and all that."

Clove giggled quietly, shaking her head. "No interrogations, but we'll be there," she said, lying back on her bed. "He said he wants to meet you, by the way." She smirked slightly as Annie gasped.

"Ooh, sounds good. How old is he, anyways?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "His muscles are pretty impressive, Clo. And I bet he's pretty impressive in other places, too."

Clove laughed. "Oh my God, calm down. He's...pretty old, I guess," she says, biting her lip. "You can't tell anybody, okay? It's like...I don't know, I just don't need everyone at the studio knowing, you know?"

She raised her eyebrows, biting the thread to cut it from the needle and examining her shoe. "Woah, alright. I won't tell, Clo. Is he over eighteen?" she asked, flicking on a lighter to melt the edges of her ribbons.

Clove swallowed, a bit nervous. "Yeah, by two years," she said quietly, drumming her fingers on her hipbone. "He'll be a junior in college in the fall."

"Holy shit," Annie said, playing with her lighter and just watching the flame. "So he's twenty...how'd you meet him?"

She smiled slightly. "We're family friends. Or we were, I guess. He's sort of living with us right now."

"Your twenty year old boyfriend is living in your house? Go Clo," she said, laughing quietly. "It's definitely a good idea to keep that secret from the girls, they're already sort of obsessed with him. They've nicknamed him 'hot guy in the lobby'."

Clove laughed. "Jesus, please don't tell, then. Me and hot guy from the lobby will definitely be at your party, though. Want us anything?"

She thought for a moment. "Well, we could always use more drinks, I guess. Does he get carded for alcohol?"

Clove sat up slightly. "Cato, do you get carded for alcohol?" she called, the tiniest of grins on her lips.

"Not usually, and I have a couple fakes," he responded, laughing. "Am I buying drinks for you lovely girls tonight, then?"

"Yes, please," she said, sighing and lying back down on her bed. "Alright, we can definitely bring things. And he indirectly called you lovely, just so you know."

She laughed. "I like him already. He'll buy us alcohol and he's charming, you've got yourself quite the catch. So, is he going to be your designated driver tonight or do you guys want to stay over? My parents are gone, so it's not like anybody will mind."

She thought for a moment. "Hm, I don't know of he plans on drinking at all, but that would be great if we could spend the night. I don't know what my parents will say, though. We'll figure it out and I'll text you, okay?"

"Sounds good," Annie said, standing up to test her new shoes. "Ow, damn," she murmured as she rose up onto her toes. "I'll be killing myself in the meantime. People are starting to get here at eight, I think."

Clove laughed, able to hear the faint sound of pointe shoes traveling over wood floors through the phone. "Breaking in new shoes is never a good time, good luck with that," she said, smiling as she hung up. She stood up and walked into the guest room, running her hands down Cato's bare back before on his shirt.

"Hey, cutie," he said, turning around and wrapping an arm around her waist. "What's the plan for tonight?" He was glad they were going to do something, hoping it would help his angel forget her worries for a while.

"We should get there around eight," she said, looking up at him with a smile. "And she said of you'd like to drink then we can stay at her house, I just don't know what my parents would say about that. If they know we're drinking then they can't expect you to drive , right?"

He shrugged slightly. "They're more interested in your safety than our sleeping arrangement, I'm pretty sure. just tell them that you want to be safe and come back in the morning, I don't see how they could object."

"Okay," she said, nodding. "I'll text Annie, then call my mom and ask. I'm excited, we haven't been to an actual party as a couple yet." She pecked his lips before walking back to her room, standing up on her bed and hopping around as she texted Annie the plan. She dialed her mom's number next, playing with one of her pigtails as she waited for an answer. "Hey, mom. Annie invited me and Cato to a party at her house tonight, so we won't be home." Her mother only had a few rules for when Clove went out, which she'd memorized perfectly but not followed quite as well. "Of course, mom. Don't drink on an empty stomach, no mixing alcohols, and never get in a car with a drunk driver. Speaking of which, would it be a good idea to make arrangements to stay at Annie's house? Cato will probably have a drink or two, I don't want him to drive if he does."

Her mother smiled slightly, finding it bizarre how similar her daughter was to her when she was around the same age. "Alright, sweetheart. You guys can stay the night, but I'm expecting Cato to be responsible and keep an eye on you. Don't do anything reckless, honey. I'd say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but perhaps it would be better to say don't do anything that you'd regret."

Clove smiled, jumping a bit higher on her bed. "Okay, mom, I promise. I'll text you to check in, okay? I love you." Once they hung up she tossed her phone onto the carpet, still jumping on her bed when Cato entered her room. "We can sleep over, my mom wants you to keep an eye on me, though," she said, giggling.

He chuckled, watching as her pigtails bounced up and down with each of her jumps. "I'll keep you in check, little one. No need to worry."

She grinned, nodding. "Okay, perfect. Now catch me," she said, launching herself off of the bed sideways, landing easily in his arms that he had readily outstretched. She looped her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek, pointing her toes. "I wish you were my dance partner," she said, smiling at him. "We're starting rehearsals soon for the fall show and they posted the list with all of the pairs, but my partner isn't as strong as you.

He raised his eyebrows, smirking slightly. "So I don't have to worry about him taking my kitten away, do I?" he asked, setting her down on the bed.

"Nope," she said, shaking her head. "For a number of reasons. Firstly, he's a pretty shy guy, very serious and a bit boring. Secondly, he has an accent that's sort of hard to understand sometimes, which is a problem when he tries to tell me what I need to do to make out lifts better and all that. And lastly, he's got a darling boyfriend," she said, smiling up at him.

Cato laughed, tickling her sides. "You really only needed to mention the last one, you silly girl." He continued tickling her, kneeling on the floor by her bed.

She laughed, wiggling around and gently pushing on his chest with her feet. "Stop that right now," she squealed, grabbing his arms. "Or next time I see my dance partner I'll kiss him right on the mouth and traumatize him for life."

He chuckled, pulling his hands back with a smirk. "That would just be cruel, Clover," he said, taking her hand and helping her up from the bed. "So, should we go grab some refreshments for the party now or later? We've still got a lot of time before she wants us over, we can do something else beforehand if you want."

She smiled. "Hm, want to watch me practice my dance?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "I might get to do a solo in the show." When he nodded she went to her closet, finding her dance bag and taking out her pointe shoes. "There's more room in the kitchen, come on," she said, taking his hand and leading him downstairs. She sat down on the kitchen floor and slipped a foot into it's corresponding shoe, meticulously tying the ribbons and tucking in the bow before repeating the process on the other side.

He watched her closely, fascinated by the way she stood carefully on her toes, balancing in front of him and placing her hands on his shoulders. "Hey, someone's looking tall," he said, chuckling slightly. He placed his hands at her waist as she warmed up her feet, doing a series of rises and looking down to check her placement.

"Alright," she said quietly, stepping away from him and stepping lightly to the center of the kitchen. She tested out a couple turns, being sure to hold her stomach in and her back straight.

She spotted Cato as she turned once more, her eyes meeting his twice before she finished. She began practicing the combination she'd be doing in the show, her pointe shoes making little thumps and squeaks on the floor as she danced. "Hm, rompers aren't the best for kicks," she said, laughing softly and standing flat footed. "But did that look okay?"

He nodded, smiling. He was amazed as he watched his princess, baffled as to how she could make something so painful and complicated appear delicate and effortless. "It looked wonderful, Clover. I can't wait to see your performance." He tugged lightly at one of her pigtails, grinning as she giggled and stood on her toes again, kissing his chin.

They fooled around in the kitchen for a while, ending up in Clove's pointe shoes discarded on the floor, her cheeks flushed, and her pigtails a bit lopsided. She laughed as she caught her reflection in the refrigerator, swatting him on the arm as he pinched her backside playfully. "No more of that, mister. You've got me looking all flustered," she said, looking up at him. "I have to go fix my hair, then we can go to the store, okay?"

He chuckled and tugged at one of her pigtails, nodding. "Sure, kitten. Sorry I messed up your hair." He waited for her as she fixed her pigtails, which took a surprisingly long time, then took her hand once she returned to his side. "Let's go get some alcohol so you and your friends can have a fun time," he said, chuckling and leading her out to his car.

She laughed, rolling her eyes. "My mother would kill you if she knew you were encouraging me," she said, smiling as he opened the car door for her and she slid into the leather seat, warm from the sun. She texted Annie to let her know that they were on their way to the store, then looked over at Cato as he got into the car and pulled out of the driveway.

He glanced at his adorable girl, noticing she seemed to be in a nice mood. "I think there are a lot of things you mother would kill me for," he said, chuckling and shaking his head. "Do you want the top down?" He looked over at her again to catch her nod and put down the top, draping his arm over her shoulders as he drove.

She got out of the car and looked around when he parked downtown, curling her hand around his as he walked to her side. "I hope none of my parent's friends are at the liquor store today," she said, laughing as they began walking along the sidewalk. She looked up to him and saw his lips turn up into a smirk, which made her smile.

He squeezed her hand, shaking his head as he chuckled. "You're going to get me in trouble one of these days, you cute little thing," he said, pushing open the door to the shop. He slid his arm around his kitten's waist, walking with her towards the back of the store. "Alright, what do you like to drink, besides champagne?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and scanning the shelves of alcohol.

She was a bit overwhelmed by the selection, looking over the bottles. "I like vodka," she said, shrugging. "Maybe it's a Russian thing, I'm not sure. But yeah, we could probably just get a handle." She looked up at him, smiling a bit.

He chuckled at her comment about being Russian and picked up a bottle of one of the more expensive vodkas, holding it out to her. "Does this suit your tastes, little Russian doll?" he asked, tilting his head as he watched her eyes skimming the label.

"As if I know anything," she said after a minute or so, a grin spreading across her lips. "I honestly just drink whatever's provided, except beer. Because beer tastes like smelly old men."

Cato laughed, carrying the bottle to the counter. "I'm hoping that you don't actually know what a smelly old man tastes like, princess," he said, setting the bottle down and pulling out his wallet as the cashier scanned the label.

"Well, they probably taste like beer, you big idiot," she said with a small laugh, leaning her cheek against his shoulder as he showed his identification, one of the fakes, to the man working. She looked up at the man as he scanned Cato's card, wondering if her realized that most of the people who came into his store to make a purchase were probably underage. She grinned slightly as Cato handed her the bag on the way out, leaning up and kissing his cheek.

"We're early," he said when they pulled up to Annie's house at 7:49, looking over at his Clover who held the bottle of vodka in her lap like it was a baby. He chuckled, raising his eyebrows. "Do you want to call her and let her know that we're here?"

She nodded and dialed Annie's number, and soon the girl was bounding down her front steps over to Cato's car. "Ooh, nice car," she said, flashing the blonde a smile as he opened his door, then walked around to open Clove's. "Clo, you look so cute," she said, hugging her friend tightly as she got out.

Clove giggled and hugged her back with one arm, the other holding onto the handle of alcohol. The three of them made their way inside, Cato trailing a bit behind as the girls chatted excitedly about the party. People began arriving soon and Clove returned to Cato's side, curling her hand around his. "Want to take a shot with me?" she asked, looking up at him with a mischievous little smirk.

"Of course, darling," he said, chuckling. "Does vodka get you frisky like champagne does, or do I have to wait to find out?" The smile he already wore widened as his romper-clad princess grabbed his hand and pulled him to the kitchen, where Annie and a few other girls stood, sipping from red plastic cups.

Annie giggled and whispered something to Clove who nodded in response, and soon two shot glasses were set on the counter. "You guys are so cute together, really," Annie said, taking a sip from her drink and tilting her head at Cato as he poured shots for himself and the small brunette beside him.

Clove picked up her glass and giggled. "How generous," she said, clinking her glass against Cato's before they both tilted their heads back, the alcohol soon warming her throat. She leaned up to whisper in his ear after she set her glass back down, her lips brushing against his ear. "And to answer your question, if you want to see your kitten get a bit frisky tonight, then you're in luck."


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Sorry it took so long to update! My internet has been down and I wrote almost the entire chapter on my phone :') I hope you guys like it xx I love your reviews and I do see all of your messages on my tumblr (chloekloss) I just haven't been responding to anonymous messages because people from my school follow me and you know how it is ;)**

_"The boys, the girls, they all like Carmen_

_She gives them butterflies, bats her cartoon eyes_

_She laughs like god, her mind's like a diamond_

_Audio tune lies, she's still shining_

_Like lightning, oh, like lightning."_

Cato chuckled as his girl immediately went for another shot, holding an arm around her waist as she tossed her head back. "Slow down, kitten, or you'll be asleep in an hour," he said, grinning and kissing the top of her head. He was truly curious to see how she acted at a party with her friends as opposed to having champagne with all of her older brother's, and so far it seemed like she would be having a very good time.

She stuck her tongue out at him and giggled as he tugged one of her pigtails, nuzzling his arm. "Calm down, mister," she said, kissing his shoulder. "I think I want another drink, can you make me one?" She really just wanted to be able to forget the things Cashmere had said, and at the moment being very drunk sounded much better than dwelling on the insensitive things that her former best friend had said to her. She watched as Cato grabbed a red plastic cup from a stack on the counter and mixed her a drink, combining a decent amount of vodka with the Sprite he'd poured as well.

He handed her the drink and watched as she took a large sip, raising an eyebrow. "You're awfully thirsty tonight, aren't you?" he asked, holding her close to his side. He smiled slightly as she nodded and took another sip, then set the cup down and wrapped her arms around his waist. He picked up the drink and had a couple sips himself, then looked at Annie. "Does she like to drink a lot, usually?"

Annie giggled, nodding. "Yep, it's those Russian genes, you know?" She tapped Clove on the nose and laughed, shaking her head. "She's a crazy girl, definitely." She smiled as Clove nodded, then looked up at Cato. "Drunk Clover likes to dance, doesn't she?"

Clove laughed, picking up her drink again and taking a long sip. "Yes," she said, wiping the corner of her mouth on the back of her hand. "But sober Clover likes to dance as well. Just not the same way." She unwrapped her arm from Cato and smiled at him, taking his hand. "Maybe I'll dance with you later."

As more people arrived, Cato grew more aware of the males and the way their eyes often lingered on Clove a bit too long. It may have been the way she played with her pigtails and bit her lip, or how she eagerly took a shot off of his toned stomach when Annie convinced him to lie down on the counter, but something about his little one was drawing the attention of more males than he would have preferred. He knew that he wasn't the only one who was attracted to her, and he didn't particularly enjoy the wandering eyes of the other guys there.

"Finn!" Annie exclaimed, wrapping her arms around a boy who'd just arrived. "I'm so glad you're here," she said, kissing his cheek quickly.

He smiled, nodding. "I wouldn't miss your party, Annie," he said, looking around. "Hey, Clove," he said, greeting her with a hug before looking at Cato. "Hadley?"

Cato chuckled, nodding. "You play football, yeah?" he asked, recognizing him vaguely as a player from another school. "You were quarterback your sophomore year, that's pretty impressive."

"You know Finn?" Clove asked, having figured Cato wouldn't know anyone there. "You should thank him, one time he saved me from Annie's pool. You wouldn't have a little dolly if I drowned, would you?"

Finnick shrugged, raising his eyebrows with a slight smirk. "What can I say? Clo shouldn't be drunk near pools, Cato. And keep her away from glass tables."

Cato laughed, nodding and sliding his arm around his angel's waist. "Yeah, she gets a bit wobbly," he said, tickling her side just to hear her little slightly-intoxicated laugh.

She shook her head, then leaned back against him. "It wasn't my fault," she explained."I thought the whole backyard was spinning around but it was just me... It was really lovely, then I just sort of spun into the pool."

Cato enjoyed hearing stories about his little one's drunk antics from Finnick and Annie, and it made him glad that none of the stories included tales of promiscuity; he knew his girl had given everything to him excluding her first kisses with Marvel. The group moved into the living room and Finnick immediately reached for Annie's hips, smirking slightly as she placed her hands on top of his and began moving to the beat of the song that was playing.

Clove giggled standing on her toes to kiss Cato deeply before turning around, pressing herself back against him and beginning to dance as well. She swayed her hips, smiling slightly as his hands held her to him. She reached up behind her to stroke his neck and the edge of his jaw as she danced, grinding harder against him when the song changed.

"Kitten, I don't want you dancing with anyone but me," he murmured, biting his lip as he felt her pressing harder against him. He wouldn't have guessed that his angel would be so good at dancing the way she was, and it was truly making his mind spin.

"Can I dance with Annie?" she asked, leaning her head back against his chest and looking up at him with a small smile.

He raised an eyebrow, smiling slightly. "Okay, you can dance with Annie," he said, letting go of her and running his hands up her sides for a moment before she moved away from him and grabbed Annie's hands to steal her away from Finnick.

"Hey, you're cute," Clove said, giggling as Annie pulled her close. She wrapped her arms around the other girls neck, rolling her body against hers with a quick glance at Cato. She figured he'd probably like to watch her dancing with Annie, and based on his expression she could guess that he was enjoying himself.

Annie giggled and squeezed Clove's backside jokingly, then turned her around and grabbed her hips. She tilted her head down to bite the shorter girls shoulder, laughing and moving her hips to the same rhythm.

"These girls are quite the handful," Finnick said, chuckling and running a hand through his hair as he watched them. He raised an eyebrow at Cato as Clove turned around again and pushed Annie against the wall to return the bite to her shoulder.

Cato smirked slightly, nodding. "How long have you and Annie been together?" he asked, his eyes not leaving his Clover as he watched her movements.

"Oh, we're not dating," Finnick said, shaking his head slightly. "I wish we were, but we're just friends right now. She's sort of complicated, I guess. She doesn't know what sort of relationship she wants with me right now, but I...I definitely like her too much to mind that she's indecisive."

Cato nodded, leaning back against the wall opposite the girls. "Well, I don't know her well at all, but I definitely think that it'll happen soon enough. Don't give up on her, I think she's just afraid of your friendship changing, if anything." Finnick nodded and they both laughed as Clove began tickling Annie's sides, still holding her against the wall. The two girls dissolved into a fit of giggles, then kissed eachother on the cheek before returning to Cato and Finnick. "And you've never kissed Annie?" Cato asked once his darling was dancing against him again.

She smiled slightly, shaking her head. "Nope, never," she said, biting her lip as one of his hands traveled past her hip to rest on her upper thigh. "We're just really good friends that like to bite eachother sometimes. In Wonderland when I'm Alice, she's the Cheshire cat," she added with a smile, gasping softly as a couple of his fingers grazed the front seam of her romper. She unintentionally caught the eye of a boy across the room while she was dancing with Cato, her hips still circling against him when the other boy winked and pointed to his own groin. She looked down at Cato's hands and chewed her lip, suddenly uncomfortable that the boy was watching. She only looked up again when she saw a large pair of feet nearing hers until they were almost toe to toe and Cato's hands returned to her hips, holding her firmly.

"Hey, mind if I cut in?" the boy asked, his words slurring as he reached out to try and pull Clove away from Cato by her waist.

"Don't you fucking dare touch her," Cato said, or rather growled, taking a step back with Clove still against him. He pressed his fingers into her hips, the fact that her bruises likely hadn't faded slipping from his mind along with the sober rationality he possessed when his blood was clean of alcohol.

"Come on," the boy said, still grinning as his eyes scanned Clove's body. "Babe, let's dance. Get that ass over here," he said, motioning to the space in front of him.

Clove took a deep breath, placing her hands on top of Cato's and opening her mouth to speak. Before she could, though, Cato had moved his hands from beneath hers and stepped between her and her unfortunate suitor. He held one of her wrists as she stood behind him, squeezing lightly.

"Do you think it's fucking appropriate to say that to her? If she was interested in dancing with your wasted ass, she would have said so. She dances with me and she dances with her friends. She absolutely does not dance with random cocky assholes that try to use lines on her, so you should stop embarrassing yourself and go find someone else to bother before I snap your fucking neck." He saw red at the idea of someone else touching his little one, holding her as she danced on them, and it took all of the self control he could muster to not punch the boy in the nose.

Clove frowned slightly as Cato's grip on her wrist tightened. "Cato, stop, that hurts," she murmured, tugging her wrist away when his fingers loosened. She glanced over at Annie, raising her eyebrows and nodding at the guys who stood in front of her.

"Hey, you," Annie said, sauntering over to the boy and tapping him on the shoulder. "Want to dance?" She gave Clove a small smile as she led the boy to the other side of the room, no doubt to make him forget about Clove altogether. Finnick frowned slightly when he saw Annie traipsing off with someone else, soon leaving the living room and going to the kitchen for a drink.

Cato sighed, immediately turning around to look at his girl. "I'm sorry, angel. That guy was looking at you like a meal," he said, his voice low. His expression softened as his kitten's soft lips met his cheek, and he quickly responded with a kiss on the end of her nose.

"I like when you protect me," she said softly. "And you're a confrontational drunk," she added with a giggle. "You just want to keep me safe from all the boys, right?"

"Of course," he said, chuckling. "I'll confront anybody who lays a finger on my baby girl, and he wasn't even polite about it."

She nodded, trailing her fingers up his arm and stepping closer to him. "I only want you to touch me, anyways," she murmured, looking up at him with the wide, innocent eyes that she didn't feel she deserved anymore. She found it strange how she still looked like she had before Cato had taken her as his own, small and young and innocent, but she didn't necessarily feel that way presently. Innocent eyes always seemed fit for her wonderland-self, though, and everything was wonderland these days.

He smirked slightly, nodding. "Good, princess. I love touching you, and I really love when you touch me." He raised his eyebrows and swallowed as he felt her small, discreet hand on the front of his pants. "Hm, kitten wants to do naughty things in the living room?"

She giggled, squeezing him through his jeans. "Frisky, remember?" She rubbed him slowly, standing close to him with her free hand on his arm. "Let's go to the bathroom," she whispered, taking her hand away and looping her arms around his neck.

He kissed her slowly, sucking gently on her lower lip. "Whatever you want, darling," he murmured upon pulling back from the kiss, taking her hand once she dropped her arms to her sides. He led her to the downstairs bathroom, which was thankfully empty, and locked the door behind them.

She immediately knelt on the tiles in front of him, fumbling to unbutton his jeans and tug them down. She kissed him through his boxers, a small laugh passing her lips as he groaned and leaned against the wall with a hand reaching for one of her pigtails. She kissed his length again, opening her mouth and blowing hot breath through the fabric against him.

He took a shaky breath, looking down at her with lust-filled eyes. "You're killing me, dolly," he growled, shaking his head with a slight smirk. He squeezed his eyes shut and wrapped her pigtail around two of his fingers as she pulled his boxers down, having been harboring an almost painful erection from the moment she began grinding against him.

She looked up at his face as she licked him from base to tip, smiling slightly as he let out a sigh of pleasure. "Mmm," she murmured as she slid her lips onto him, wrapping her arms around his thighs and taking him in deep enough for her forehead to meet his lower abdomen.

"Shit, Clover," he mumbled, tugging on her hair. "Good girl, that's perfect," he breathed. He could definitely tell that alcohol made his angel much bolder, and the way she bobbed her head eagerly and quickly made him absolutely crazy. He swallowed, tilting his head back as her soft tongue pressed and swirled over his member.

She closed her eyes and sucked hard on the head of his length, squeezing with her hand near his base. "Am I really a good girl?" she asked softly as she removed her lips from him for a moment.

He chuckled huskily, her hand still pumping him as she waited for a reply. "Yes, you're a very good little kitten," he said, nodding and pulling on her hair again. "And I'm very, very close."

She giggled softly and nodded, continuing with her hand for a moment before kissing the tip. She flicked and swirled her tongue, readily capturing the hot liquid he spilled into her mouth when his body tensed with release. She let go of his legs to cover her mouth, laughing slightly as she swallowed. "I thought it was going to get in my eye," she said, standing up and wiping her chin.

He laughed, pulling up his boxers and buttoning his jeans. "You might be the only girl who giggles after giving head," he said, picking her up and kissing her softly. "But you're getting very good."

She smiled, kissing him slowly. "I'm crazy, remember?" She nipped at his bottom lip, pulling back as someone banged on the bathroom door.

"We're playing truth or dare in the garage, if whoever's in here wants to play," a female voice called, a knowing smirk on the girls face as Cato and his grinning Clover, his arm around her waist, left the bathroom. They made their way into the garage, where everyone sat around a table that had already become the resting place for many red cups.

"Find a spot to sit, I'll grab you another drink," Cato said, smacking her playfully on the backside before walking back into the house to the kitchen. He made her another vodka and sprite, then had a shot for himself before walking back to the garage.

Clove sat down next to Annie on the floor, leaving space beside her for Cato. "Hey, you," she said, tapping Annie on the nose.

Annie scrunched her nose, laughing. "Hey, Clo. I take it you're having fun?" she said, her voice a bit dreamy with alcohol. She grinned as her friend nodded, pressing her forehead to the smaller girl's. "I saw you and hot guy from the lobby sneaking off, you dirty girl. Where'd you go?"

Clove returned her friend's grin, draping her arms around her neck. "To the bathroom," she whispered, unable to stop small giggles from passing her lips. "You know, for some private time."

Annie laughed, nodding. "Hm, what kind of private time? The kind with swallowing?" She raised her eyebrows as Clove blushed, tickling her sides.

She climbed onto Annie's lap, wrapping her legs around her and tucking some of her hair behind her ear to whisper something. "Yes, that exact kind of private time, actually."

Cato chuckled when he saw the girls, seating himself in the space Clove had left. "Dolly, I've got another drink for you," he said, running a finger up her side.

"And you guessed right, he's really impressive everywhere," Clove added, toying with Annie's hair for a moment before climbing off of her lap and moving to face the inside of the circle on Cato's. She picked up her drink as he wrapped his arms around her waist, taking a sip and nuzzling her head against his neck. "Mm, thanks," she murmured, smiling as he kissed the top of her head.

"Of course, you frisky thing," he said, laughing and looking around the circle as the game began.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: So sorry for the long wait! My laptop is broken and honestly it's killing me. Follow me on twitter ( chloekloss) if you want to be sure I'm not dead etc. :) Enjoy this chapter, I know you've been waiting!**

_"I'm just a party girl, _

_Try'na get my drinks, _

_For free, from you._

_If you hold me tight, _

_It's alright, _

_Let the fire ignite._

_Well, I'm a party girl, _

_And I'm just warning you."_

Clove closed her eyes for a moment as the game of truth or dare started, suddenly hit by a wave of lightheadedness. "Cato, my head," she mumbled. "My head is so soft inside." She giggled, opening her eyes and trying to decide if she was sitting on the ceiling or the floor. "Are we upside down?"

Cato raised an eyebrow, stroking her side. "No, angel. We're right side up. Do you feel upside down?" he asked, smiling slightly and moving the cup containing her drink to the floor behind them. He figured that if she was to the point that she couldn't tell which way was up, she may need to stop drinking for the night.

She nodded, then let out a soft sigh. "Yes, and my head's not connected," she said, grinning and covering her face with her hands. She could barely feel her face at all, and the fact that the difference between up and down were indistinguishable made this wonderland, the hazy-colored happy wonderland, much more confusing."Oh my God, where's my head, Cato?"

He chuckled, kissing the side of her head lightly. "Right there," he murmured, leaving his lips near her ear. "Kitten, are you alright?" he asked, rubbing light circles on her upper thigh and holding her close to him with his other arm around her waist.

His touch sent delayed shocks of pleasant feelings to her muddled brain and she nodded slowly, holding out her hands in front of her and wiggling her fingers. "Oh, yes, I am right now. It's just...Alice isn't alright, is she? She goes to Wonderland because she isn't alright," she said, her voice a bit distant.

He frowned slightly, continuing to caress her thigh. "So you're not alright otherwise?" he asked. He'd been noticing her odd allusions to her own wonderland before, and he knew that he himself had fallen into a wondrous, illogical place of his own on the night he became enamored with the young girl, but the way she spoke made it seem that she felt that Wonderland (or her own, at least) was very real.

She laughed, shaking her head. "I didn't really have you fooled, did I?" she asked, drumming her fingers on her knees. "Silly, silly mad hatter doesn't see how messed up his little girl is, does he?" She closed her eyes again for a moment, temporarily overwhelmed by the feeling that her body wasn't her own, and she really wasn't there at all.

"Oh, dolly," he murmured, somewhat comprehending her drunken confession. "I'll make it better, okay? I'll make it all better," he whispered, kissing her shoulder gently. He looked over at Annie, who smiled slightly and pointed to the redheaded girl he'd seen earlier.

"Make sure she's paying attention, it's her turn and Fox is asking," Annie said, giggling as she realized that Clove must be as drunk as her, which was very drunk indeed. She reached out and twirled a piece of her friend's hair around her finger, tossing her head back to laugh as Clove gave her a dreamy glance.

"Truth or dare, Clove?" the redhead asked, drink in hand.

Clove looked around the circle, chewing her lip in mock-concentration as her fuzzy brain tried to make the choice. "Truth," she said, a lazy smile on her lips.

A girl raised her hand as if in class, earning laughs from a few other players. "I've got one," she said, tilting her head and looking at Clove. "What's the farthest you've gone?" A few people raised their eyebrows expectantly, and the males looked much too interested in her answer for Cato's liking.

Before she could answer, a girl from the circle laughed, shaking her head. "She's obviously a virgin, I'd bet on maybe third base. Maybe. But she's definitely a virgin," she said, shrugging lightly as the blonde seated next to her swatted her on the arm.

"No I'm not." The words had spilled from Clove's lips before she could consider it, and she blushed immediately and buried her face in her hands. She could hear the responses of her friends, rather mutual friends of Annie's, and their chuckles and comments made her whole face hot.

The boy from earlier, his eyes still transfixed on the flushing girl in Cato's arms, smirked. "I bet you're crazy in bed, too," he said, his expression hungry as he addressed her.

Cato tensed at the words, his arms tightening around his girl's waist. "Not your business if she is," he said, his tone trimmed with a threatening edge. There was a lull in noise within the circle for a moment, before Finnick glanced at the boy as well.

"Back off, man. She's taken," he said, knowing that although it was hard for the clearly drunk boy to understand that he would be much better off not trying to dig himself into a deeper hole with Cato. After a few more moments of palpable discomfort, the game resumed as though nothing had happened.

"Kitten, you're all mine," Cato murmured into his flower's ear, his voice gruff with anger at the mere idea of others imaginings of Clove participating in behind-closed-doors activities. "And later, I'm going to remind you that every single bit of you belongs to me." His brain was all thoughts of her at this point; the alcohol made the always-present but subtly kept obsession surface ever so slightly. He figured that if he lived in a wonderland as she did, all of the flowers would resemble her and only he would be allowed to touch their petals.

"Cato, truth or dare?" Clove vaguely heard this question, her mind already engulfed by Cato's heavy promise. She closed her eyes for a moment and stroked his forearm, nodding slightly in delayed response. "You can do whatever you want to me," she mumbled, not sure if he heard her quiet reply.

He only chuckled at her words, knowing that she didn't have the faintest of ideas what 'whatever you want' could entail. "Dare," he announced, smirking as he looked around the circle. He knew where the game was inevitably headed, seeing as most drunken games of truth or dare generally take similar turns, but he was amused nevertheless by the contemplative faces of the players as they tried to come up with a dare for him.

"I dare you to put Clove on some other guy's lap," the redhead said, raising a challenging eyebrow at the pair. Of course she was trying to tease them, to antagonize Cato and get him the slightest bit jealous. Everyone there already knew Clove, or knew of her through Annie and Finnick, but they hadn't been able to mess with Cato yet.

Cato chuckled lightly at the girl, looking over at Finnick with a shrug. He unwrapped his arms from his Clover's small middle, guiding her over Annie's legs and onto Finnick's lap. Once she was seated he tapped Annie on the shoulder, his eyes still on Finnick. "He's practically Gale to her, hm?" he asked quietly, noticing that her eyes lingered the same place as his.

Annie nodded with an undetectable sigh. "Yeah, he's her other brother," she said, though the twinge of jealousy she felt as Finnick looped his arms around the other girl made her feel as though some part of her wasn't positive. "I just wish me and him were simple like that, where we were on the same page about the relationship," she said quietly, leaning her head on Cato's shoulder.

"Hey, he's not going anywhere," Cato said, glancing around the circle before looking at Annie again. "He know's you're not simple, that the whole thing's not simple. Talk to him about it later."

Annie smiled, lifting her head. "Alright, I will. To figure things out and all that," she mused, her words a bit blended towards the end of her thought.

Clove sighed softly, comfortable in a different way in Finnick's arms than Cato's. "Finn, I'm drunk," she said, comprehending the fact that her numb face and inability to stop giggling meant she'd had quite a lot to drink.

"I know," Finnick responded, laughing and patting her stomach. "Too much vodka in there for a little lightweight," he teased, laughing again as she haphazardly slapped his hand away.

The game quickly picked up, articles of discarded clothing due to the much less tame dares and the more personal truths among the empty red cups on the floor. "Annie," a boy said, crumpling an empty cup. "Out of the girls here, who would you fuck?"

Annie laughed. "Clove, obviously," she said, tickling her friend and causing her to squirm on Cato's lap, where she'd returned to after a few turns on Finnick's.

"In that case, Clove should probably give you a lap dance," another boy suggested, to which there was a not-so-surprisingly enthusiastic sound of approval heard around the room. Clove giggled as Cato helped her stand up, adjusting ehr romper and grinning cheekily at Annie who stood as well. "Annie, sit on the table," Finnick said, eyeing her shamelessly as she did so.

"Why does this keep happening to us?" Cato asked Finnick, his eyes intently trained on his princess' small form as someone got up to hook up their phone to the speakers and she began moving her hips. Finnick only gave an exasperated sigh in response, running a hand over his face as Annie grabbed her friend's hips.

Clove's head was swimming as she swiveled her hips with obvious skill, lifting a foot to rest on the table beside Annie as she ground against the giggling brunette in front of her. She looped her arms around Annie's neck , tilting her head to one side and biting her lip.

"Kiss already, you two are ridiculous," Finnick called, smirking slightly and nudging Cato as Annie pulled Clove closer and kissed her full on the mouth with a visible grin.

Clove kissed her back, unable to keep from laughing as she did. She knew what this must be doing to Cato, and although she would never admit it to him she loved getting him worked up. She wouldn't have denied it if she was called a tease the way she was acting now, running her tongue across her friend's bottom lip in the way she'd only ever done with Cato. Annie responded with a bite that made Clove giggle, still dancing against her as their lips met again.

Cato bit down on his lip, not even bothering to hide the bulge in his pants as his angel, his once innocent girl, ravaged the mouth of her friend and was ravaged right back. The moment his kitten returned to his lap he groaned, the pressure of her body against the front of his pants too much to bear. "Upstairs, now," he mumbled into her hair, following quickly after her as she excused herself from the game and began up the staircase.

"Cato, I-" she began once they were up the stairs, but she was halted by Cato's hand at the back of her head and his lips crushed to hers. She kissed him back eagerly, the harsh pressure of his lips sending shivers down her spine.

When he pushed her into the guest room, shutting the door behind them with his foot and holding her against the wall, she could tell that her teasing had affected him quite a bit. Before her dizzy brain could register what was happening, her romper was half off of her body and Cato had her wrists above her head pressed into the wall hard enough to bruise.

Cato wasn't able to be gentle with her when he was like this, drunk and too aroused to think of anything besides release, and the way she didn't protest as he kissed her roughly and undressed her further only fueled the boiling need in his abdomen. He kept his hold on her wrists as her romper pooled around her feet, his hand reaching to stroke her neck as he spoke. "You really are killing me, you know?"


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: I love when you guys message me on tumblr, and I do read all of your messages! If I don't respond it doesn't mean I didn't see :* I feel like you'll all enjoy this chapter, at least a little bit...Keep reviewing xxxx**

_"Love hunt me down_

_I can't stand to be so dead behind the eyes_

_And feed me spark me up_

_A creature in my blood stream choose me up_

_So I can feel something_

_So I can feel something_

_Give me touch_

_'Cause I've been missing it."_

Clove let her eyelids flutter shut as Cato's fingers wrapped lightly around her neck, his fingertips pressing into her skin. She moaned as he wedged his knee between her legs, already leaning forward to grind her center against him. She gasped softly as he squeezed quickly on her neck, tilting her head back.

He grinned slightly, his eyes full of lust, as she moved against his leg. "Oh, it's turning you on that you're helpless, isn't it?" he asked, his voice husky. He brushed his thumb down the side of his darling's neck, pressing her wrists harder against the wall.

She could only whimper in response, her senses overwhelmed. She was vaguely aware of the pain in her wrists, but his strong hand around her neck was driving her wild. She moved herself against his leg again, desperate for the friction he could provide.

He leaned down to kiss her again, his lips hard against hers and his hand still holding her neck as she parted her lips for him. He slid his tongue into her mouth, emitting a low growl as he did.

She was pliant beneath his hold, reluctance absent as he held her firmer against the wall with his leg between hers. All she could think of was how she was his (his, his, his) and it confused her that he felt that he had to prove it. When he broke the kiss she breathed deeply, her lips red and swollen and her eyes wide as she looked up at him.

He took his hand from her neck and trailed it down her body, his fingers dipping into each curve, tracing her ribs, traveling down her smooth stomach. He ran his nails from one of her hips to the other, the small sound she made convincing him to do it again. He took a step back from her after that, though his hold on her wrists remained. "When I let go of you I want your bra and panties off, alright kitten?"

She nodded slowly, her heart beating fast, and once he let go of her undoubtedly bruised wrists she made quickly work of getting her undergarments to the floor. She gasped against his lips as he moved a hand between her and the wall, squeezing her backside and attacking her lips with his. The alcohol running through her made his movements seem too slow and too fast at the same time, and she felt a sudden need to get his clothes off of him as soon as possible.

He raised an eyebrow and chuckled into the kiss as he felt her clawing at his shirt, squeezing her again. "Be patient," he murmured, moving his hand to the small of her back and pulling her away from the wall. He grabbed her wrists again, pulling her arms away from him and stepping back again. She was flushed, her pigtails were disheveled, and her skin stood out pale in the darkness of the room. He watched the way her chest moved with her quick, unsure breaths, and how she drummed her fingers lightly on the sides of her legs as if afraid to move.

She could almost feel the path that his eyes blazed along her skin, each of her nerves on high alert. She chewed her lip, feeling the indescribable vulnerability that only he could evoke. He made her feel safer than anyone else, but his eyes were ones that made her shiver with necessity to please.

"Turn around, angel," he commanded, his usually gentle tone masked by something more wanton, more direct. He softened for a moment as she hesitated, reaching out to caress the edge of her hipbone before turning her around himself and pressing between her shoulders, smiling slightly as she crawled to kneel on the bed with her forearms flat against the quilt.

She wouldn't have been surprised if her heart leapt from her chest at that point, a nervous feeling spreading to her fingers and toes. She rested her cheek between her palms, her brain barely registering the quiet sound of Cato's shirt dropping to the floor and his jeans joining it.

He reached between his doll's legs, trailing teasing fingertips from her navel to her soft mound. When she arched her back to meet his hand he grinned slightly, stroking her side with his other hand as he began rubbing her slowly. "You like this, don't you kitten?" he whispered, drawing his hand back before sliding two fingers into her.

She nodded against the mattress, moaning as his fingers curled inside of her. "I like it, I do," she said quietly, biting her lip as he pushed his fingers deeper.

"Clearly," he murmured, sliding his fingers from her and trailing his now slick digits down her inner thigh. He could have guessed that she would be like this with him, submissive without argument, based on the very first time he laid a finger on her. It made him feel luckier than anyone to have her as his own, and to be able to experience her body in the best ways.

She whimpered quietly as she felt his fingers leave her, the feeling of her wetness being painted down her thigh making her arousal even more evident. In a moment he'd grabbed her pigtails and pulled her head up slightly, to which she didn't resist, and his still moist fingers forced her soft lips apart and entered her mouth.

He held onto her hair and mumbled a sound of approval as his princess sucked his fingers, her tongue darting to clean herself from him. After a few moments, he pulled his fingers from her mouth and tugged his boxers down, guiding his member to slide against her opening.

She gasped as she felt his hardened length against her, letting out a shaky moan as the head skimmed her clit. Her breathing hitched as he repeated the action, using his hand to direct his manhood to meet the sensitive place again. Pleasure shot through her body, causing her to shift in an effort to create more friction. She let out a mewl of disappointment as he pulled away, leaving her core hot and glistening with pure want.

He let go of her hair as he picked up his discarded jeans from the floor for a moment before dropping them again, taking a foil packet from the pocket and hastily rolling the condom onto himself. He teased at her entrance for a moment, enjoying the soft sounds she made as he did, before slamming into her tightness with his hands gripping her hips. The slow, careful movements of their first time together were lost to Cato, alcohol dissolving his self control.

She cried out softly as he filled her and his fingertips dug into her skin, feeling nothing but an ache inside of her in addition to the soreness that still lingered. He moved his hands up a bit higher, his fingers pressing harder as he held her in place. "Cato," she breathed, but it was clear that he either didn't hear or wasn't particularly concerned as he continued relentlessly. A wave of fuzzy warmth passed through her, a curtain of alcohol that made it seem unreal for a moment until his hand was on her neck again and she could feel his other hand kneading her backside. The initial pain dissolved into unbelievable pleasure after a time she couldn't have estimated (minutes, seconds, years) and she moaned, feeling his fingers adjust around her neck as she did.

He looked down at her porcelain skin where his hand had been before finding her slender neck once more, his hazy vision and the darkness of the room masking the thumbprint sized bruises that bloomed there. He heard her moans and quickened his pace, pleasure sparking in his veins and igniting his need for release.

She was lost at this point, her mind swirling as her body rocked on the bed and Cato groaned her name. She could barely tell that she was moaning loudly, begging for more, as he squeezed her neck and growled and dragged his nails over her hipbone. "I'm close, I'm so close," she whimpered, squeezing her eyes shut as tremors of ecstasy began in her abdomen.

As she clenched and pulsed around him he let out a grunt, thrusting once more before going rigid with climax. He stayed inside of her as she rode out her own orgasm, looking down at her as she emitted the most delicious sounds of satisfaction he's ever heard. He pulled out of her when her noises had been reduced to a drunken hum, getting rid of the condom in the trash can near the bedside table.

She felt like a puddle, some molten pool of insane and exhausted contentedness. She felt almost as mad as the mad hatter, because though she'd suspected it all along, she was now sure that she didn't mind at all if he hurt her. She didn't mind if she ended up bruised or sore or scratched if it meant she would always be his, his, his. She was half-limp as he lifted her from the bed and helped her into her romper, unsure of when he'd had time to get dressed again, or how much time had passed at all (perhaps her watch was two days slow). She didn't know when she'd begun laughing either, but she was as she glimpsed her undergarments on the floor and picked them up after a couple tries.

He grinned at her, his crazy little Alice, as she looked up at him and her laugh continued. "You're insane, Clover," he stated, taking her free hand. "Completely insane."

She sighed as her laughter diminished, nodding. "Of course I am. Someone said once, though, that the best people are. Mad, that is, which is close enough to insane, I guess," she said, her words nearly incomprehensible. She floated after Cato as he pulled her from the room and into the hall, giggling as she saw Annie on her way up the stairs with Finnick close behind.

"People are going home," Annie said, grinning at Clove's flushed face and dazed expression. "Finn's staying over, and we're taking my bed," she said, giggling as Finnick slipped his arm around her waist at the top of the stairs.

Cato chuckled, running a hand through his hair and mentally high-fiving himself for having some part in whatever was happening with Annie and Finnick, since he'd told her to talk with him. "Can we sleep in the guest room, then?" he asked, smirking slightly at the fact that they'd already used the room for a lot more than sleeping. When Annie nodded he led his dizzy Clover back into the room and took her underwear from her hand, leaving it on the bedside table before pulling the covers back.

She crawled into the bed, suddenly feeling as though she couldn't stand for a moment longer. She smiled slightly as she felt his body next to hers, amused by the fact that he was still in his jeans. "Night night," she mumbled, nuzzling his neck. At that very moment, sleep seemed more amazing than anything else at all, and she was already halfway to a much-needed slumber as he pressed his lips to her forehead.


	26. Chapter 26

**A/N: Sorry for all the long waiting, it's the absolute worst having a broken laptop :( Enjoy this chapter, review, keep messaging me on tumblr and all those good things! xoxoxo**

_"When you call my name it's like a little prayer _

_I'm down on my knees, I wanna take you there _

_In the midnight hour I can feel your power _

_Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there."_

Clove woke up late, around 10:45, and sighed quietly as the beginning of an awful headache throbbed in her head. She looked over at Cato who still slept soundly, then got out of bed and rubbed her eyes to try and rid herself of the exhaustion she still felt. She heard a shower running and padded across the hall to Annie's room, feeling unbelievably sore in her lower half. She opened the door slowly, seeing Annie sitting in her bed with a surprisingly content expression considering that she no doubt was feeling the same headache as Clove. "Hey, you," she said, getting into the bed beside her friend and looking at her expectantly. "Want to tell me what happened with Finn last night?"

Annie sighed, laughing slightly though it hurt her head. "Well, I remember coming in here with him and getting into bed, making out for a while, and when I woke up I was only in my underwear but I don't really know what we did." She rubbed her temples as if doing so would help her remember, but just gave an exasperated sigh.

Clove nodded slightly, then tilted her head. "Are you happy about it, though? Has he said anything?" The two discussed the things that transpired between Annie and Finnick until he got out of the shower, unable to hide a massive grin as he saw Annie.

"Cato's probably awake now," Clove said, smiling at the way Annie blushed under Finnick's gaze. She watched as Finnick left to room, probably to fill Cato in on what had happened with Annie, then chewed her lip. Once he was gone Clove shut the door, taking a breath as if about to speak and looking at Annie as she changed her mind on what to say. "Is it okay if I borrow sweats or something?" she asked, walking over to the dresser and looking through Annie's drawers.

Annie nodded, watching her friend curiously. "So, what were you and Cato up to last night, then?" she asked, knowing that there was no way they were just sleeping in the guest room.

"Damn it," Clove muttered. "My bra is in the guest room, what if Finn sees?" she asked, laughing and covering her face with her hands. "Oh, lord..." She laughed again at Annie's expression, feeling bad for leaving her hanging on the topic of what had occurred between Cato and herself. "I'll tell you when I'm back, okay?" She opened the door again and walked to the guest room, spotting her underwear on the bedside table and Cato and Finnick lounging on the bed.

Finnick watched her flustered expression as she reached for her bra and panties, chuckling. "Stop acting so embarrassed, Clo. We all know you haven't got any underwear on." He laughed as she blushed and slapped his shoulder, shrugging.

"Shut up," she said, her eyes lingering on Cato for a moment before she left the room hurreidly and walked back to Annie's. "Okay, I don't really know where to start with me and Cato," she said on her way into the bathroom to change into her underwear. She didn't look in the mirror before walking back out to rifle through Annie's drawer again, but when she heard her friend gasp she realized she probably should have.

"Holy shit, Clove," Annie said, raising her eyebrows. "What did you guys do?" From the back she could see bruises on Clove's neck and lower back mottling her skin, and she tilted her head. There was a bruise on her spine as well, a few inches from the others. "You look like you've been attacked by an animal."

Clove looked down at herself and saw the bruises and dotted lines of scratches on her hips, turning to face Annie and furrowing her brow as she tried to remember the hazy events of the previous evening. "I don't remember all that well... I know he, um, he choked me, he had me held against the wall..." she said, rubbing her wrists. "Then...I don't really know for sure, I think I was kneeling and he was holding me from behind..." She brushed her fingers across her neck, feeling her face flush. "Oh, God. Is that really bad?"

Annie laughed nervously, shrugging. "I don't know, that sounds pretty intense," she said, playing with a piece of her hair. "Like, super rough and all that."

Clove chewed her lip, slipping on a pair of sweats. "And I'm sore as hell," she said, pulling on a tank top and taking out her pigtails before sitting next to Annie. "It was actually insane, I barely knew what was going on," she said, studying the bruises on her wrists.

Annie nodded, combing her fingers through Clove's hair. "Did you want to?" she asked, looking at her wrists as well. She knew Clove had been wasted the night before, and she wasn't sure what type of guy Cato was even though he came off protective and fairly nice. She knew Clove well enough to understand that she was insecure, and often insecurity led to being taken advantage of.

Clove hesitated, trying to think back. "I guess so. I mean, I don't think he hurt me because he was trying to force me to, I think he's just...into that sort of thing, I don't know. It just surprised me, he's usually really gentle." Annie's expression didn't look convinced, so she continued. "I was just startled, I think, but I did like it."

After a moment Annie's lips turned slightly as she nodded, curving into a slight smile. "As long as you liked it. I guess you never know what you like until you try," she said, shrugging. "It's just, he's so strong, and you're so tiny. I feel like he could break you."

Clove shrugged slightly, nodding. "He probably could, but I don't mind," she said, and it was the truth. She didn't mind at all; she figured that he would be much more upset by the bruises and scratches when he saw them than she was.

Annie sighed, continuing to run her fingers through Clove's hair. "You really love him, don't you?" She asked, amazed by how Clove completely trusted him with no second thoughts, and how she wasn't afraid of him even when he was rough with her.

Clove nodded quickly. "Yes, I love him a lot. He's one of the only people I can actually tell everything to," she said, playing with her fingers. "He's amazing, he really is."

Annie grinned, hugging Clove gently as she was afraid to hurt her bruises. "Alright, good. I think he really loves you, too. He looked ready to kill that guy who was hitting on you, I was worried for a second."

She smiled slightly, nodding. "Yeah, I don't think he liked that at all."

Finnick started making breakfast and soon everyone gathered in the kitchen, nursing their hangovers with ice water, black coffee, and aspirin. "So, do you guys remember when you made out?" Finnick asked the girls, turning over the bacon he was cooking. He had been the least intoxicated out of all of them, and although some of his memories were fuzzy, many of them were clear as can be.

Annie smiled slightly, nodding. "Yeah, sort of. Clove, you taste like candy," she said, looking over at her friend who sat on Cato's lap on the counter.

"She does, doesn't she?" Cato asked, a smirk playing on his lips. He kissed the side of Clove's head, adjusting her on his lap. He frowned slightly as she winced, loosening his arms. "Are you alright?" he murmured into her hair.

Clove sighed softly, feeling as though it was odd that they hadn't discussed the things they'd done yet, or what he'd done to her. "Can I talk to you in private?" she asked, taking his hand once he set her down on the floor and leading him into the bathroom. "Cato, last night in the guest room..."

He furrowed his brow, only small slivers of recollection floating through his mind. Flashes of skin, her sounds of pleasure, collapsing into bed afterwards. "What...what did we do?"

She chewed her lip, moving her hair out of the way so he could see her neck. "Whatever it was, you hurt me," she said, showing him her wrists as well. "We were kissing, I remember that, then you started choking me, and I guess you were holding my wrists." She took a breath, looking at the floor to avoid the expression on his face. "I undressed for you and you turned me around," she said quietly, looking you at him. "You pulled a lot on my hair, too, and then you...You fucked me really hard, then at some point we went to sleep." She'd pieced it together the best she could, mostly from her bruises and the soreness between her legs, for some reason feeling embarrassed about telling him even though he was there.

His eyes widened and he swallowed, looking at her neck. "Clover, I hurt you..." He had figured that they had sex, remembering that much, but he had no memory of being that rough with her.

She sighed quietly, nodding as she lifted her shirt and pushed her sweats down enough to show her hips, bruises and scratches spread across her skin. She looked up at him, watching his face as he reached out to trace one of the scratches. "Cato..." she began, but she stopped when he shook his head.

"Is that everything?" he asked, his voice low. He was hoping she would nod, but when she shook her head him face fell. She turned around and showed him the bruise in the middle of her back, as well as the thumbprinted bruises that he'd been unable to remember giving her. "Clove, I don't...I didn't want to do that, I didn't mean to hurt you, I don't even remember. I'm so sorry, angel."

She turned back to him, shaking her head. "I said you could do whatever you want to me, didn't I? If you want to hurt me, you can hurt me." She didn't like that he was beating himself up over it, especially because it didn't upset her.

He sighed, stroking her cheek. "Clover, don't give me permission to do things like that to you, I'm not supposed to do that," he said, frowning slightly. "What's the difference between me doing that and me hitting you, or beating you? I'm supposed to be keeping you safe and happy, not choking you and fucking you like a toy..." He felt awful for losing his control around her, and it the fact that it didn't seem to bother her worried him.

She shook her head again. "You don't treat me like a toy," she said, frowning. "You don't use me, if you were using me you would have done that a long time ago. It's a lot different than if you hit me or anything like that." She took a moment to think about if she'd be mad at him if he did, and she figured she'd be much more upset than she was about him being rough with her in bed. "And it's not like I didn't want it, Cato."

He raised his eyebrows. "So you wanted me to hold your wrists and scratch you and bruise you, Clover? You wanted me to have sex with you even though you were still sore from the first time and we'd talked about waiting until you felt better to do it again?"

She sighed. "I just want to make you happy," she said, trying to keep the desperation out of her voice. "I want to be yours, I want what you want, and you wanted to do those things..."

"Stop, Clove," he murmured, cupping her face in his hands. "Did you like me doing those things to you, or did you just let me because you wanted me to be happy?" It was baffling to him that she would let him hurt her without hesitation, and it was confusing because when it came to other people she was quick to say no to things she didn't want. She was different with him, the same way he was different with her.

"I liked it," she said softly, looking into his eyes. "I like when you're controlling of me, I guess. It makes me feel good when I do something right, or do what you want." She tried to explain the best she could, fidgeting with the hem of her top. She felt like it was sick to like the fact that he caused her pain in the way that she did, but it was already apparent that her feelings about quite a few things weren't normal.

"Would you tell me to stop?" he asked, his tone serious. He stroked her cheeks softly with his thumbs, searching her eyes. When she stayed silent, he sighed, pulling her into a gentle hug. "Princess, answer me."

"No," she whispered, hugging him back. "No, I wouldn't tell you to stop." She took a breath, closing her eyes. She stayed in his gentle hold, focusing on the feeling of his fingers brushing lightly up and down her back.

He caressed her back softly, kissing the top of her head. "You're such a sweet girl, kitten," he murmured. "But you have to know that if you don't want to do something, or you don't feel comfortable or it upsets you, you can tell me." He ran his fingers through her hair, waiting for her to respond.

She nodded slightly against his chest, rubbing his sides slowly. "I know but I just...Cato, I don't know. When I say I'm all yours I mean it, you're free to have me however you want, because I like feeling like I'm worth something to you."

He twirled a piece of her hair around his finger, furrowing his brow. "And you only feel like you're worth something to me when we're doing something physical?"

She shook her head, hating how her words never seemed to come out correctly when it was important. "No, not at all. I'm just saying that doing things like that make me happy, because I know it feels good for you and I like being the reason. It makes me feel good, too," she said, not knowing how else to voice how she felt.

He nodded slightly, though he wasn't quite sure he understood. "And you're okay, and you're not upset with me?" he asked, looking down at her and tucking some of her hair behind her ear. When she nodded he sighed, deciding not to exhaust the topic any longer. "We'll have a bath later, okay? And a really long nap," he said quietly, brushing his thumb over her lips before taking her hand again and leading her back to the kitchen.

Clove smiled as she saw Annie and Finnick attempt to sneak a kiss before the kitchen was occupied again, knowing all too well what it was like to try and hide something inevitable. "She'd a good kisser, right Finn?" she asked, laughing slightly and resting back against Cato as he leaned on the counter.

Finnick never blushed, until it came to Annie. "Definitely," he said, pecking Annie on the nose before returning to the food. He made plates for everyone, suggesting that they eat outside on the deck. The group arranged around the table, Annie and Finnick on one side with Cato and Clove on the other.

Clove glanced at her food, not having much of an appetite but feeling bad not eating what Finnick had made. She knew Cato was paying attention to her, as he usually was, so she had a few bites and tried her best to ignore the ever-present criticism in her mind. She pushed her food around, trying to make it seem as if she'd eaten more than she had.

Cato noticed her playing with her food but didn't say anything, getting the feeling that Annie and Finnick probably didn't know about her issues despite how good of friends they seemed to be. He watched as she talked to them, impressed yet saddened by how expertly she'd raise the fork to her mouth as if about to take a bite and then jump back into the conversation without letting any food pass her lips. He finished his food quietly, placing his hand on his girl's knee when he was done.

She placed her free hand on top of his, brushing her thumb over his skin as she continued talking to Annie. "I'll take the plates in," she said when she saw that everyone else was done, quickly standing up and stacking the empty plates on top of hers and walking inside to the kitchen.

Finnick raised an eyebrow as she left. "She's so goddamn polite," he said, chuckling. "You're lucky, Cato. She's such a great girl." He rolled his eyes as Annie pretended to post, a smirk of his lips. "I mean, Annie's alright, I guess."

Cato chuckled, nodding. "Yeah, Clove's the best. She's like that at home, too. Always cleaning up like it's her job."

"At home?" Finnick asked, furrowing his brow.

Cato laughed slightly. "Yeah, I'm staying with her family for the summer." Being out of the house always made him forget how odd their situation was, and that most twenty year old men didn't live with their fifteen year old girlfriends in their parents' home.

Annie nodded, grinning. "Finn, come live with me for the summer," she said, playing with his hair.

"Oh yeah, your parents would love that. Hormonal teenagers at home alone all day. Nice. Cato, how'd you even pull that off, anyways? I mean, not the teenagers part, but staying with Clove?"

"I was originally staying with Gale," he said, shrugging slightly. "Then me and Clove started dating, but you know how her parents are. They didn't make me leave after we told them about us, so there you go."

Once Clove returned from cleaning the dishes, Finnick suggested that they all watch a movie. He and Annie ended up kissing almost the entire duration of the film, and Cato's tired girl fell asleep in his arms almost immediately. He stroked her hair softly as the quiet voices of the actors in the movie mingled with Annie and Finnick's poorly concealed sounds of contentment, and once the ending credits played he figured it was about time to go home.

Clove woke up to Cato squeezing her shoulder softly, blinking a few times as she realized she'd slept through the whole movie. "Sorry," she said quietly, glancing over at Annie and Finnick and stifling a small laugh. "Should we let them continue in privacy?" she asked, trying to keep her voice down.

Cato nodded, chuckling. "Hey, we're gonna get out of here," he said, standing up with Clove and taking her hand lightly. "Thanks for having us." Finnick grunted in response to either Cato's goodbye or Annie's tongue in his mouth, and Cato took it as a good cue to leave.

When they got home, Clove was a bit dismayed to see her mother and father waiting in the living room, her father in his signature barbeque apron and her mother in an oversized floppy hat. She'd been hoping that she and Cato could take a bath and a nap together like he'd promised, but it seemed that there were other plans for the day that she would be involved in.

"Oh good, you two are just in time. We're having a little barbeque, we were hoping you'd make some use of the pool." Eva was eying Clove with an arched eyebrow, and Clove knew the look all too well. It was an unspoken agreement that if Clove went out to a party and ended up hungover it was her problem to deal with, and that meant no ducking out of family activities. "Go get changed, Gale's got a couple other friends outside already getting the barbeque started."

Cato could tell by the way Clove squeezed his hand tightly she was horrified by the idea of her family seeing her body and the bruises and scratches that showed clearly on her pale skin, and he couldn't for the life of himself (which would likely be lost if anyone saw what he'd done to her) think of any way to help.

Clove swallowed, putting on a false smile as she nodded and let go of Cato's hand to go up to her room. She shut and locked her door, taking a deep breath and looking through her swimsuit drawer. Countless tiny articles, bits of string and triangles of cloth and nothing more covering than underwear, ended up on her floor as she frantically searched for a swimsuit that wouldn't humiliate her. She sighed with frustration, thinking that something like this would happen to her. She put on a swimsuit, giving up on finding any with adequate coverage, and walked into her bathroom to grab concealer before standing in front of her full length mirror to inspect herself again. She decided not to worry about the bruise on her spine seeing as it would be easy enough to blame on something dance related, but she dabbed makeup over the other marks as best she could and threw on a cover up before walking back downstairs.

Cato had gone into the guest room to change, waiting for his inconveniently bruised princess at the bottom of the stairs once he was done. He sighed quietly and took her hand, raising an eyebrow. "What's the plan?"

"As long as I stay in the water it'll be fine, I can just put my cover up back on the moment I get out." She knew that unlike the hickey all those weeks ago, a necklace of bruises around her neck and scratches on her hips would be much harder to talk herself out of.


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: Sorry it's been so long between updates! My laptop is still not fixed/replaced so it's been hard getting things done. I hope you like this chapter, and as always keep reviewing and messaging me on tumblr (: xx**

_"What makes you feel so alone?_

_Is it the whispering ghosts_

_That you feared the most?_

_But the blackness in your heart_

_Won't last forever_

_I know it's tearing you apart_

_But it's a storm you can weather."_

Cato watched his little one as she slipped into the water, clearly uncomfortable and beyond nervous. He felt awful for what he'd done to her, and for the fact that she was now afraid to have fun with her family because she feared that the marks he'd made on her body would be revealed. He got into the pool with the rest of the group, wading over to her and taking a breath. "I don't want this to happen again," he said quietly, leaning back against the edge of the pool as he stood beside her, making sure his voice was low enough for Gale and the other guys attending (more of his friends that he'd blatantly ignored for the better part of two years) not to hear. "I don't want to make you scared." He looked down at her in time to catch her miniscule nod, then sighed. He held her hand beneath the water for a while, letting go when he felt her tug her hand lightly from the cradle of his.

She slipped beneath the surface of the water and skimmed along the bottom of the pool, needing some time to sort out her thoughts. The more she thought about she and Cato's relationship, the more confused she got and it almost made her head hurt. She surfaced in the corner of the pool to take a quick breath, then dipped below once more. She shut her eyes, letting a thin stream of bubbles exit her lips as she spread out the events of the last month in her mind like a hand of cards. Cato grabbed her around the waist without invitation. Cato pulled her onto his lap and stroked her skin. Cato kissed her. Cato touched her, and made her moan when nobody was home. Cato told her she was perfect. Cato flushed her pills down the toilet. Cato took her shopping for lingerie, and Cato took it off of her. Cato told Marvel to leave her alone. Cato held her when she cried. Cato took her innocence, and Cato hurt her without meaning to. It was all him, almost every bit of her life for the past month was him. From the beginning she knew she had no control; the way that he acted without asking her if what he was doing was okay made it clear to her that she was not in charge. It was confusing to her, because it wasn't as if she had asked to be in charge for once and he'd said no. She just never asked, and he never changed. He was kind to her, he listened to her problems, and he helped her with things that many others would ignore. She didn't want to sacrifice what she had with him for anything, and she saw no reason to show him a side of her that wasn't amenable and compliant. He loved her, and he'd said it many times. He loved her, and she needed his love, so change was out of the question.

He understood her message; she wanted to be left alone, and he respected that. Sometimes he forgot to think about how she was fifteen (or he selectively ignored it), and had to remind himself that his princess was still trying to figure herself out and learn and grow up. He felt guilty sometimes, like he was keeping her from reaching a point where she could be her own person, but he knew that he was much too attached to his girl to let her go. He would never admit to her why he had been so immediately captivated by her, and why he pursued her in a less than conventional way. Her blatant purity, her small size, her long dark hair and her sweet, lovely face had all screamed at him that she was the opposite of Glimmer. She was the opposite of the person that had shattered his teenage heart, and she was like a breath of fresh air or a shot of something strong that went straight to his head. His angel, his darling, his little one, was clean in all the ways Glimmer was dirty. She was quiet in the same way Glimmer was loud, and she was clever in the way Glimmer was dim. It took him until it was too late, until he was deep into the rabbit hole with his Clover, to realize that she was a perfect bandage to his still healing heart. After two years, some part of him still ached from the loss of someone he thought he would have forever. A young, impressionable, broken girl completed him, and there was no way he would jeopardize it again. The mistake he'd made, although she'd seemingly brushed it off, terrified him because he felt like he'd made things feel even more unbalanced between them when they'd been going so well. He needed the things he felt with her when things were going fine. He felt protective, he felt needed, and he felt beyond happy when he could make his kitten smile and laugh and feel happy herself. He loved her more than anything, because she made him feel like a good person while Glimmer had made him feel like he wasn't good enough. Clove was everything to him, and even thinking about her wanting to leave him was enough to make him feel ill.

She surfaced again and wiped the water from her eyes, but moments from disappearing into the water again when she heard a small splash behind her and was suddenly lifted into the air. Her eyes widened as she heard Gale and his friends laugh, wriggling in her brother's hold. "Gale, no," she said as he hoisted her up higher, his slippery hands fumbling over her back (a tiny wince) and her hips (a bigger one) as he held her out in front of him, only her feet remaining in the water. "Put me down, seriously," she shrieked, biting down on her lip to keep from crying out as she squirmed again and his nails scraped across her already scratched hips.

Cato was yanked from his thoughts at the sudden movement, and he watched in horror as Gale lifted his doll from her safety underwater. He could tell that she was hurting by the way she held her lip between her teeth, and he caught her eye as she reached down and placed her hands on Gale's wrists and tried to pry them away from her with no success.

Gale laughed at his little sister's feeble attempts at escape, completely unaware that he was causing her pain. "Don't you want to get launched, Clo?" he asked, grinning and preparing to fling her across the pool like he always did. "Cato, you'd better move or you'll get splashed," he said, raising an eyebrow as the blonde moved to the other side of the pool with the rest of their friends.

Clove gave up on struggling, swallowing as her mother and father came to the edge of the pool. "The barbeque's almost done- Clove, what's on your neck?" Clove felt her blood freeze as her mother spoke, suddenly wishing that Gale would throw her into the water as fast as possible. "Nothing," she said, her voice a bit too shrill to be convincing. Her mother looked closer, narrowing her eyes as she stepped closer to the side of the pool. Clove yelped as Gale finally launched her into the air, sending her crashing into the water after a moment of helpless suspension. Her heart beat quickly as she sank to the bottom, knowing her makeup had all washed off in the water and all of the marks . She dreaded surfacing, terrified that her mother's curious eyes would greet her.

Gale and his friends laughed, unaware that Cato's expression was far from amused. Cato watched as his darling's head bobbed above the water and she looked around, obviously scared that her mother would still be interested in the marks she'd glimpsed on her neck. He sighed as she got out of the pool and grabbed a towel quickly, walking hurriedly inside before anybody could stop her. "Aw, you broke her," commented one of the guys, earning a chuckle from the others and an eyeroll from Gale. "Shut up, she's probably just annoyed or something," he said, a bit worried at how she had run off so quickly. Before Cato could get out of the pool to go after his dripping wet little bird, he saw her mother scurry into the house after her.

"Clove, are you okay?" her mother asked, following her daughter upstairs. "I'm sorry I made you swim, but it's the agreement-"

"I'm fine," Clove said, keeping her back turned to her mother and her towel secure. "It's not that, I just don't really feel like messing around with Gale right now."

Her mother tilted her head. "Sweetie, what's on your neck? It looked like bruises to me..."

"Nothing," Clove said, shaking her head. "It's nothing, it must have been a weird shadow. I'm fine," she said, sitting down on her bed. She took a deep breath as her mother sat next to her, moving her hair to the side that the woman faced.

"You're not acting like it's nothing," Eva responded, raising her eyebrows. "Clove, what happened? Did something happen at the party?" Clove was acting suspicious and defensive, and it filled her mind with scenarios that she would never want her daughter in.

Clove sighed, not wanting to talk at all. "Nothing happened mom, I'm fine. The party was wonderful, there is nothing on my neck, and I'm fine." She knew she was pushing it, talking too desperately and using one of her worst lies that her mother of all people knew to look out for. She knew her mother never trusted the phrase 'I'm fine', but the words kept spilling from her mouth.

Eva carefully pushed Clove's wet hair out of the way, then gasped as she saw the darkened blotches surrounding her daughter's throat. "Clove, explain. Right now," she said, scanning the now shivering girl's neck once more before standing up and locking the bedroom door.

Clove sat in silence for a while, then pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes. "No," she said quietly, shaking her head. "No, it's not your business."

"Clove," Eva said, her voice taking on the same tone she often had to use while Clove argued with her about food. "When my daughter looks like she's been strangled, it is certainly my business. So explain, or I'm going to have to have a conversation with your father, and Annie, and Gale, and Cato-"

"Mom, stop," Clove said, her voice quivering. "Stop it, okay? I'm fine, I haven't been strangled," she said, shaking her head. "Stop threatening me and just let me talk." She took a deep breath, pulling her knees to her chest. "I was messing around with Annie at the party and we pretended to get into a fight, but she didn't realize she was hurting me. It's fine, and she apologized and everything's fine so you can just stop, okay?" She watched tears splatter her knees, upset that she couldn't keep it together long enough to create a convincing lie.

"If you're fine, Clove, and it's fine, then why are you crying? And why would you lie if it was just a play fight with your friend?" Her tone was still gentle, but it was clear that she did not believe the smallest bit of Clove's story.

Clove sniffled, burying her face in her knees. "I don't know why I'm crying, maybe I'm just emotional," she snapped, hot tears dampening her skin. "I'm not lying, so I don't know what your problem is. What about trust, mom? I thought we talked about how we were g- going to have trust in this family after I recovered, and how everyone would stop fucking harassing me about every little thing." Her voice was unsteady and anxious, and she wanted to be swallowed into a hole rather than be where she was, quivering and sobbing on her bed with her mother questioning her.

"Language, Clove," Eva reminded, sighing. "And do you think this is a little thing? Looking like someone's had a rope around your neck? You know better than to lie to me, Clove. Trust works both ways, and you need to trust me enough to tell me the truth."

"I lie all the time," Clove said, her tears coming faster as she lost control of her breathing, her thoughts, and her words. "I lie all the time, mom, to everyone about everything. I lie to you, I lie to dad, I lie to Gale, I lie to Cato. I lie to everyone. So just leave me alone, because you could talk to me for hours and I wouldn't tell you the truth."

"What else have you been lying about, Clove?" It concerned her when Clove was like this, angry and irrational and close to hysterical. "Honey, please tell me." She placed a hand on Clove's back, taking a breath.

She took a shaky breath, and when she spoke again her voice was weak. "A lot of things. I've been lying about being better with eating, I lied to Gale about Cato, I've been telling everyone that I'm happy but I don't know if I am, I just...I can't, mom, I can't do it, I'm a bad person. I think I'm relapsing, or something. I don't know."

"Sweetheart, you aren't a bad person," Eva said, shaking her head. "I am so worried about you, Clove, I am just so worried. Can you tell me what really happened with your neck?"

Clove was sobbing into her knees, not sure what to do. "It was something I wanted, it was really personal and I swear it wasn't someone trying to hurt me. I just don't want to talk about it, is that okay?"

Eva nodded, knowing that if Clove was willing to admit that she was having issues with eating again then she was probably being somewhat truthful, although vague, about her neck. "If you really think you're relapsing, what do you want to do about it? Another meal plan?"

Clove sniffled, nodding slightly. She'd rather have a meal plan than have to see a therapist again, and she was nowhere near ready to go back to seeing someone once or twice a week to talk about how she felt about everything. "I love you, I'm sorry," she whispered, letting go of her knees to hug her mother.

"It's okay, Clove, it's okay," Eva murmured, hugging her daughter back tenderly. "I know you're having a hard time, I just want you to be able to tell someone."

Clove stayed quiet, waiting until her tears had stopped to let go of her mother and wipe her eyes. "You can go back down for the barbeque, I sort of just want to be alone," she said quietly, relieved when her mother left. She changed out of her swimsuit and put on sweats and a t-shirt before crawling into bed, surrounding herself in covers and pulling her pillow close to her chest. She lifted her head when she heard a knock on her door, expecting it to be her mother again or Cato coming to check on her.

Gale walked to his sister's bed, sitting down cautiously. "Clo, I don't know if I did something, but I'm sorry," he said, frowning as he saw her still wet cheeks and red eyes. He'd been worried ever since she rushed inside, and his mother's expression when she came back outside gave him the idea that something was wrong.

She shook her head slightly, sitting up completely and running a hand through her hair. "It wasn't you, I promise." She sighed quietly as he pulled her into his arms, hugging her close and kissing the top of her head. "I just get really tired, Gale, I get so tired," she said quietly, clinging to him.

He nodded rubbing her back slowly. "I know," he said, wishing it was easier for him to understand why the one girl he always needed to keep happy and safe was constantly struggling to escape something dark and sad. He always thought he had a very good relationship with his sister, despite the times when she got angry with him, and he wished that she would tell him when things were wrong rather than keeping them inside until she couldn't handle it anymore. "I just want to make sure you're not mad at me, and I wanted to see if there's something I can do."

"Thanks," she mumbled, her chin resting on his shoulder. "I'm not mad at you, you didn't do anything," she said, knowing he was unaware of what he was doing when he picked her up in the pool. She stayed quiet for a while, closing her eyes as he rubbed her back. She smiled slightly as he started humming, recognizing the tune as he combed his fingers through her hair. "That's mom's song, that she used to sing," she said, sighing quietly.

He continued humming for a while until he heard her breathing even out and felt her hands fall to the bed. He carefully laid her back down, tucking her back into bed and kissing her forehead gently before leaving her room, seeing Cato waiting in the hall. "Hey," he said, knowing his friend had probably been worrying just as much as him. "She's taking a nap, maybe she'll want to talk when she wakes up."

Cato nodded, sighing. "I just don't know what's wrong, it scares me so much," he said, leaning back against the wall and taking a breath. "Did she tell you what's going on?"

Gale frowned slightly, shaking his head. "No, she just said she gets so tired... I don't know if she meant tired of acting like she's okay, or of something else." It pained him to see her so sad, and it was hard for him to watch Cato in the same type of pain as him. She was both of their number one concerns, and when she was unhappy it weighed on both of them.

"She said something weird to me, at Annie's party," he said, trying to remember his angel's exact words. "She said something about really having me fooled, about how she hasn't actually been okay. I don't know what I'm supposed to do about that, or what any of us are supposed to do."

"We're supposed to help her, however we can," Gale said, though he knew it was easier said than done.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Hello everyone, I feel like I apologize for long waits a lot but things in life just get sort of hectic. I got really ill and just couldn't bring myself to write, but I'm finally better! I've been reading your reviews and tumblr messages, and regarding the anon message I got about Peeta, I am still working on how he would fit into the story but I'd definitely like to include him! This chapter was really hard to write, and I hope you all don't decide to hate me because of it :o **

_"Everyone wants everything no matter the cost, we're longing to live in a dream._

_But we can't let go of all that we think we know, this great escape_

_until we give up the ghost."_

Upon waking up, Clove simply stayed in bed for a while, staring up at the ceiling and wondering how things in her life had begun to unravel so quickly. She'd been able to push her problems to the back of her brain, and things with Cato were going fine despite what had happened at Annie's party. It made her sick to her stomach that now her mother knew that she wasn't doing as well as she was letting on, and there were too many thoughts swirling in her mind for her to grasp the source of the knot in her abdomen. She got out of bed eventually, walking downstairs quietly to get a glass of water before making her way back up to her room, hoping not to see anybody on the way.

"Clove," Cato said quietly, stepping out of the guest room just before she reopened her own door. "Are you okay?"

She had the sudden urge to laugh, but kept it down. "No," she said simply, walking back into her room and sitting down on the edge of her bed, wishing for once that he wouldn't be so caring and concerned to follow after her.

He frowned, shutting her door behind him and sitting down at her side. "Clove, what happened with your mother, and with Gale?" He mentally cursed himself for asking right away instead of giving her time, which he knew she probably needed, but he was too worried not to know. He'd gotten used to being the first one there for the past month, and it scared him that this time he wasn't.

She took a breath, shrugging and shaking her head. "My mom kept asking about my neck, and I got upset, and I was yelling at her," she said, picking at her fingernails. "I lied and lied and lied, and then I told her I was lying, and a bunch of other stuff just spilled out. I told her that I think I'm relapsing, how I'm not happy..."

He watched her face, feeling as though she'd crumble if he reached out to touch her cheek. He hated seeing her like this, and he knew she felt out of control. "I'm so sorry," he said, shaking his head. "Angel, I didn't know, I didn't know you were feeling so bad about eating, I didn't know you aren't happy."

"I know, Cato, because I was lying," she said, looking at him. "I'm a liar, is it that hard to believe? It's easy to pretend that I eat dinner, or that I'm happy, or that I don't completely hate who I am." Her voice was small and she felt horribly tired; she was grateful when he wrapped a gentle arm around her.

"You're not a liar," he said, unable to grasp how she saw herself so differently than he saw her. "I just don't understand why you couldn't tell me that all of this was going on, or how you were feeling. I'm always here to talk, Clover."

"It's just that it's not something that's been 'going on' recently, it's how I've felt for a really long time," she said, her voice defeated. "Since before you started talking to me, or anything. I wasn't happy, and I'm not. You make me feel happy, and thinking about you makes me happy, but without you, when it's just me and I'm all alone, I'm not happy at all."

He frowned, nodding slightly. "But you don't have to be without me-"

"Yes, I do," she said, looking back down at her lap. "I do, because I'm not like you. I'm not an adult, I can't just decide to quit my life for a while and do whatever I please. I get to right now, because it's summer and I can pretend all I want and I can just be yours all the time and we can do what we want and I can live in this fantasy land where I'm your princess and I deserve the world. But in the fall I have to go to school, I have to think about my future and jobs and the SAT and college, and you've experienced all that already. You're already in your future. So it's just hard, because I'm aware that I'm vulnerable and unstable and that I let you do whatever you want with me and I don't care, but it won't be like that forever."

He stayed quiet for a while, then swallowed. "I'm sorry, and don't you dare say it's not my fault because it is." He was frustrated now, more at himself than anyone, because she was so right, and what she was saying fit in perfectly with everything he'd been thinking about. Everything about how she was just what he needed to fix the things that made it hard for him to sleep, and everything about how he was starting to feel like he wasn't quite what she needed to get better. "There you were trying to gain some sort of control of your life and I came in out of fucking nowhere with no goddamn invitation, doing things just to see if you'd let me get away with them. Doesn't that seem fucked up to you, Clove? That you're a sad, lost girl and I just used that to please myself because I wanted you to be mine and it was too easy to get you?"

She furrowed her brows. "What are you trying to say?" she asked, her voice wavering as she scooted away from him on the bed. "That in the beginning you were just messing with me to see how far I would let you go?" Her hands were shaking now and she clasped them tightly in her lap, shaking her head. "And you just kept going, just playing around with me? Why, Cato?" Perhaps she wasn't too tired to cry, because she soon felt hot tears stinging at the corners of her eyes.

"No, no," he said, holding his head in his hands. "I just...I was selfish, Clove, I was really selfish. I had issues of my own that I should have dealt with, but instead I saw you and something made me think that if you were mine everything would be better. I didn't see it then, kitten, I didn't see that I was doing it to fix myself, but now it's so obvious. You didn't even argue, it was like a fucking dream and I couldn't let it go."

"So I was just your dream girl, and you wanted to have a bit of fun," she said, her tone icy though tears wet her lashes. "I didn't care enough about myself to stop you, Cato, and I still don't. When you came up behind me in the kitchen I was terrified, and I was confused and I let you...I let you touch me and do those things to me, after that, because I was scared." A steady stream of tears ran from her eyes at this point, gathering pitifully at her chin before dropping to her lap. "So what the fuck am I to you now? You did all that to mess with me for some sick reason, and then you said you loved me, and talked to my parents, and flushed my diet pills down the toilet and listened to my problems and took me to ballet class and bought me a goddamn diamond necklace, but why?"

He stood up running a hand through his hair. "I care about you, Clover, I care about you more than anything. I did all of those things because I love you, I really do, and I want you to be safe and happy but I just...our relationship isn't healthy, Clove, it really isn't."

"Do you think I'm an idiot?" she asked, wiping at her eyes. "I know it's not healthy, it wasn't healthy from the very beginning and I know that, but I didn't mind. I didn't mind being scared, or feeling like I didn't have control over anything. But at this moment you're saying you love me, and I just want to know when that started, because it's really clear now that you didn't love me in the beginning, and I was just too confused to see. When did you start loving me?" She looked at him for a moment, his silhouette a blur as more large tears filled her vision.

He didn't turn around, feeling his own throat start to tighten with unshed tears. "Stop. Don't ask that," he said, his head starting to pound. "I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry. No, I don't think you're an idiot, but I think I really fucked up getting you involved in whatever this is."

"Our relationship is just 'whatever this is', then? You regret everything," she said, her voice breaking. "How could you? Turn around and look at me, Cato!" Her voice was growing louder, and her heart was beating loudly in her ears. "I gave everything to you and you're saying you regret it, that you fucked up when you got involved with me. I was all yours, Cato, every piece of me was yours and you're throwing that all away now, over nothing at all?"

He turned around, looking down at her and sniffing as his own eyes became wet. "I regret starting it, I regret initiating it. I don't regret what happened after, Clove. I don't, and I never will. I love you, just because we've realized things aren't right with us doesn't change that."

"You don't love me," she said, standing up and shaking her head, tears streaking her cheeks. "You used me, oh my God, you used me and you m- made me think that you really loved me and that I was your whole world but I'm just a huge joke. Why did you have to do that? I just don't understand why you're telling me all this now." Breathing was becoming difficult, and looking at him was even harder. She stepped closer to him, looking up into his eyes. "You didn't know you were using me? You didn't know that you were taking advantage of how I hate myself and I just don't even care what happens to me? I let you, was that not good enough for you? I don't know what else you want, I let you take my virginity, I let you make me happy, and you really did, and I- I thought I was going to get to be happy like that for a while, and maybe it would fix me eventually."

"You're talking like it's already over," he said, his own cheeks wet. "I didn't come in here for this to happen, princess," he swallowed as she scowled at the nickname, which usually just made her smile. "I came in here to see what's wrong, and help you..."

"There are too many things wrong, and you telling me that you've been using me from the beginning isn't helping at all," she said, pausing occasionally to let out a sob. "It's like the whole fucking world gets off on seeing me cry, I'm so tired of it. I'm tired, Cato, I really am, and you made it all seem so much better. The past month has been the best I've had in a really long time, and the fact that it sounds like it wasn't as meaningful to you makes me want to throw up. I'm talking like it's over because you brought up that I was too easy to get and you wanted to see how far things would go."

"I'll leave, then," he said, wiping his eyes. "I'll go, and you won't have to hear from me."

"It's that easy for you? Oh my God, Cato, you're not even fighting for me," she wailed, pounding her fists weakly into his chest. "You'll leave that fast, like I don't matter?"

He took a deep breath, shutting his eyes. "It doesn't sound like you want me to stay," he said, his voice a lot less steady than usual. "I don't want to keep hurting you like I am, I can't...I know it doesn't seem like I've been hurting you, because you've seemed happy and things have been good for the most part, but I think that it will be better for you in the long run if I leave."

She shook her head in disbelief at everything that was happening, choking out a ragged sob. "Go, get out," she said, hitting his chest again. "Get out, please, leave me alone." She knew she was being loud but she didn't care, all she saw was red and hurt and sadness and Cato, Cato, Cato. She stayed in the same spot as he nodded slowly, watching as he left her room before crumpling to her bed in a pile of ugly, loud sobs. She could hear him shuffling around in the guest room, and she could hear that he was crying as well even if his crying was more a series of upset grunts and curse words.

He packed as if he was in a haze, stuffing his clothes into his suitcase without folding them. He packed the card she'd given him last, zipping it into the front pocket of his bag before going to the bathroom to collect the rest of his things. When he was done he started down the stairs, keys in hand and still breathing quickly.

"Cato, where are you going?" Gale asked, getting up from the couch.

"We heard yelling, what happened?" Mr. Rusakova asked, frowning and standing up as well.

"I just have to go," Cato mumbled, leaving quickly and unintentionally slamming the door on his way out.

Clove watched from her bedroom window, sobbing into her hand as he threw his things into his trunk. She thought that maybe this could be a dream, that she hit her head on the side of the pool when Gale threw her and none of the things in the past few hours had happened, but that theory seemed too good to be true. As he pulled away from her house and sped down the street she punched her wall, wincing at the feeling. She looked at her bedside table, picking up the necklace he'd given her from the place she'd left it when she took it off before swimming. She considered doing something cliché like throwing it away or burying it in her backyard, but instead she put it on, feeling the chain between her fingers. She found her phone and turned it off, leaving it on her dresser before climbing back to bed and waiting for her brother (or mother or father) to come bounding up the stairs and begin a brand new assault of questions that would surely make her cry even more.


	29. Chapter 29

A/N: The last chapter was so hard for me to write, and to be quite honest I may have cried. I'm sorry to mess with all of your emotions like that, but sometimes people need a reality check. I hope you don't hate me! Enjoy this chapter, and keep reviewing as usual xx

_"I wanna get back to_

_I wanna get back to everything I had_

_Before you came around, you fucked me up,_

_What am I do to now?_

_But in my mind I keep seeing you, seeing me,_

_And how good we used to be, used to be, used to be, used to be, used to be."_

It didn't take long for Clove's family to make their way up the stairs, all of them talking quietly outside her door about who should go in and talk to her first. She tried to quiet her sobs, but only succeeded in making herself hiccup in addition to crying harder. She didn't lift her head from her dampened pillow when her door opened, biting her lips together and gripping the chain of her necklace tightly. She could still hear her father and brother talking in the hall, so she wasn't surprised as her mother sat down beside her. She couldn't decide if she wanted to be alone or if she wanted comfort from her family; all she could focus on was trying to stop crying.

"Sweetie," Eva said, tucking a strand of Clove's hair behind her ear. "I know that you probably don't want to talk right now, but I don't want you to feel alone." She frowned, her heart breaking for her daughter as she watched her shake with violent sobs. She combed her fingers through Cloves hair until her sobs were reduced to quiet whimpers, then sighed. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Clove swallowed, then took a shaky breath. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out and she just ran her fingers over the chain of the necklace again and again as another round of sobs leapt from her throat. After a minute or so she tried again, her eyes squeezed tightly shut. "H- he came in here, to check on me," she said, her voice shaky and thin as air. "And then out of n- nowhere, he started saying crazy things, about how he was using m- me, and we started arguing, and I was just so confused," she said, pausing occasionally to hiccup. "And then he just left, he didn't even say goodbye."

Eva frowned, rubbing Clove's back softly and staying quiet for a while. "I don't see how he could do that, he always seemed to be so nice to you," she said, not understanding how Cato could begin an argument and then leave completely out of the blue. She'd been keeping as close of an eye on their relationship as she could while still maintaining trust with her daughter, and from what she could see Cato was selfless and caring, and he made Clove happy.

Clove nodded, tears still wetting her pillow. "He always was nice to me, b- but now after everything he said I don't know if it was honest," she said, her voice breaking. "I don't know anything, mom, I really don't." She was confused as to how after over a month of no serious arguments or fights he suddenly had the urge to tell her that his intentions were misplaced in the beginning. "I just don't get it, I don't know why he didn't t- try to fix whatever it was, he just left so fast."

Eva nodded, taking a deep breath. "I don't know why he would do that, honey, I am just as confused as you," she said, kneading her lip. "I'm going to go make you some tea, okay? I have your favorite kind," she said, getting the feeling that continuing to talk about whatever had happened would upset the still crying girl even more. She got up with a very sad, motherly glance, and left the room to go downstairs and heat up some water for tea.

Cato drove quickly, disregarding the blurred speed limit signs as he left Clove's neighborhood. He felt out of control and upset and completely furious with himself, and all he could think was to get away. He pulled up to a hotel, the first place he saw, and took a moment to try and collect himself in the parking lot (punching the steering wheel, getting out and kicking the tire of his car) before grabbing his suitcase and entering the lobby. He looked around, noticing that the place was nicer than he'd originally thought, but handed over his credit card for a room without second thought. He brought his bag up to the third floor and settled into his room, collapsing onto the bed and clenching his fists tightly as he resisted the urge to tear apart everything in his immediate reach.

Victor wrung his hands as he talked to Gale, trying to keep his temper in check. He'd been very trusting of Cato not to hurt his daughter, and after knowing him for so long and seeing how much happier Clove seemed when he was around, he was under the impression their relationship was going well. To hear his daughter sobbing in her room over something that definitely had to do with Cato was hard for him, and he couldn't help but feel angry at himself for allowing the two to date in the first place. "If he laid a hand on her, I'm calling the police," he hissed, not wanting to raise his voice. "She's in there sobbing, Gale, and it's his fault."

"I know," Gale mumbled, too baffled as to how his best friend, who'd seemed genuinely concerned about Clove only half an hour before had managed to make her so upset that he had to leave. "I want to know what happened, she was yelling at him and that really worries me."

Victor nodded, sighing. "I don't think she wants to talk right now," he said, glancing at her door. "We shouldn't pry, she'll feel overwhelmed. You know how she gets," he said, keeping his voice low.

The two men made their way downstairs, passing Eva who was on her way back up to bring tea to Clove. She opened her daughter's door, sighing and placing the steaming mug on her bedside table. "Let me know if you want anything," she said quietly, kissing her daughter's forehead softly before leaving her room again and joining the rest of the family downstairs.

Clove waited until she felt like her body was drained of tears and her stomach ached from being coiled with sadness to touch the mug of tea, and by that time it was barely warm. She drank it in a few gulps, then stood up and walked to the bathroom. She looked in the mirror, scowling at her red, puffy eyes and tear streaked face. Her eyes moved to her neck, where the bruises now seemed to scream at her (still his, still his, still his) and it made her feel sick. She took a breath and walked back to her bed, grabbing her journal from her bedside table and uncapping a pen. She was planning on writing to keep her mind off of him, but she could only produce one word.

"Pathetic."

She felt horrible, in all the ways that she never wanted to. She never wanted to feel like Cato was done with her, or like she didn't matter to him, but that was exactly how she felt. She felt like a joke (maybe Glimmer was onto something) and even worse, she felt completely humiliated. Her mind shrouded itself in negative thoughts, the word pathetic hitting each of her nerves and causing her heart to ache. She pinched the diamond of her necklace between her fingers until it hurt, breathing quickly as she felt a new wave of tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She glanced at her phone, debating whether or not to turn it on. She decided against it, not sure if she was more afraid of finding it bare of messages from him or blinking with his name.

Gale, Victor, and Eva all looked up as Clove entered the living room, all looking as if they were afraid she would dissolve or combust or collapse if they said anything. There was an uncomfortable moment of her standing still, looking at all of them, until her father got up and wrapped his arms around her gently. He didn't say anything, just held her close to him and took a deep breath.

"Clo, want to go for a drive?" Gale asked quietly, knowing that sometimes when she was upset she liked for him to drive her around, just to get her thinking about something other than what was bothering her.

"Sure," she said quietly, hugging her father back. "Let's go," she said, sniffling. Her father let her go and Gale came over, taking her hand and squeezing gently.

"Alright. We'll be back later," he said, glancing at his parents before leaving the house, his sister trailing behind him. She got into the car, putting on her seatbelt with a quiet sigh. "Can we go really far away?" she asked as Gale pulled out of the driveway, her voice tired.

He nodded, looking over at her. "Yeah, we'll go far away," he said, rolling down the windows to let in the breeze. He drove out of the neighborhood, and after a few turns they were on the freeway. He didn't try to get her to talk about what happened, knowing she wasn't necessarily feeling the best or the most stable lately. He just drove, looking at her occasionally and trying not to think about murdering his best friend.

She stayed silent for at least half an hour, staring blankly out of the car and watching scenery blur past. She played with the chain of her necklace absently, squeezing the diamond every time she felt like she was about to cry again. She swallowed after a while, looking over at Gale. "Thanks for driving me," she said quietly, rubbing her eyes. "I didn't want to be home."

He nodded. "You're welcome. And I know, I understand," he said, speeding up the car slightly. "Sometimes you just need to get away."

She nodded, taking a deep breath. "I just don't know why this happened," she mumbled, her voice small. "He said he would never hurt me, and that he loved me and cared about me more than anything, but now he's gone and he didn't even have a good reason to leave."

He frowned, turning off onto a road that would take them into a small town, similar to theirs. "What was his reasoning?" he asked, hoping he could at least make her feel a little better if he knew more of what had happened.

"He said he was using me, and taking advantage of me," she said, hating the way the words felt on her tongue. "And he said that he fucked up by getting involved with me." She squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her eyes. "I don't know why he's realizing this now, after we...after everything. He didn't have to let me believe that he really thought I was special."

"He told you that he was using you?" he asked, furrowing his brows. "Clove...you don't have to tell me, but did you...did you have sex with him?" He dreaded her answer; she was his baby sister and the thought of her being so intimate with someone made him feel more protective than usual.

She froze, feeling completely ashamed. For a moment she was silent and unmoving, but she soon offered the smallest nod she could manage. "But...I wanted to, and I wanted to a while before we actually, you know, and he said no. So I don't understand what he was using me for, if it wasn't for that. It doesn't make any sense." She looked down at her lap, picking at her nails as her heart thudded, nervous for Gale's reaction.

He took a deep breath, slowing down slightly as they entered a residential area. "I agree, that doesn't make any sense. If you felt that you were ready to take that step in your relationship and he said no, then I'm not sure how he was taking advantage of you. Unless there were other things, of course."

She chewed her lip, figuring that if he knew that they'd had sex it couldn't get much worse. "Well, the way he...initiated things, I guess, was sort of questionable," she said, taking a breath and looking out of the window again to see the sun settling below the horizon. "It wasn't necessarily forceful or anything, but he sort of just slipped his arm around me when I was at the sink getting water. I was really nervous, and I didn't know why he was doing what he was doing, and I just sort of let it happen because I didn't know what else to do. It escalated really fast, so maybe that's what he was talking about, but I still don't think if just...fooling around was what he wanted he would have stayed with me after those first few days."

He stayed quiet for a while, trying to process the fact that his best friend had seduced and 'fooled around' with his little sister behind his back, and gotten her to do things that could be classified as worthy of using someone for. "Clo, if he hurt you or threatened you or anything like that you have to tell me, okay?"

She nodded quickly. "I would, but he didn't. He was never mean, or threatening, and he didn't force me into anything...I just don't know, I mean maybe he did and I just didn't realize, but I didn't feel like he was doing that..."

He kneaded his lip, nodding slightly. "Some people can be very persuasive without actually telling people to do things," he said, shrugging. "Maybe he coaxed you into doing things that you wouldn't have done otherwise."

She nodded slowly, rubbing her eyes with a sigh. "That makes sense, I guess. I just felt like I couldn't really say no to him," she said, glancing at Gale for a moment. "I didn't want to say no, either, but I don't know...it's not like it was all him, I wouldn't have opened up to him so much if I was having weird feelings about it or anything. The things he said are just making me look at everything differently, I think." She was glad that he wasn't lecturing her on having sex too early, or asking for details on what else she'd done with Cato. It was comforting to talk to him and not feel attacked, and she was truly grateful.

Cato had drifted off, and when he woke up his mind was still reeling. He felt as though he'd managed to not only ruin everything with Clove, but his friendship with Gale and the respect he had from their parents as well. He grabbed his fake I.D. and his room key and left the room, making his way down to the bar on the first floor. His plan was simple: to get as inebriated as possible and pass out in his hotel bed (if he made it that far) before his guilt caused him to do something violent. He sat down at the bar and ordered a drink, flashing his I.D. and sighing deeply. His phone felt like lead in his pocket, and he thought about calling her and telling her that he was sorry for everything and he just needed some time, but he couldn't even take it out. He was overwhelmed by the feeling that he'd wronged her and that he didn't deserve to talk to her at all, and he figured that she did not want to hear from him anyways.

"I think, and it's just my opinion, but I think that he may have taken advantage of you not necessarily in a sexual way, but emotionally. He was sort of messed up after high school, and it wasn't just the Glimmer thing... I'm not saying I think he was preying on you or anything like that, but I do think that he might have gotten caught up in the fact that you seemed willing to make him happy. He might have just started hinting that he wanted more from you and you just didn't notice that he was putting ideas into your head."

She furrowed her eyebrows. "What you're saying makes sense, but I just don't remember it feeling like that at all, you know? Like, I didn't feel like he was tricking me or using me or anything like that, and it scares me because if someone tries to do that to me in the future I might not realize." Her voice was wavering again and she pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes, taking a shallow breath. "And today I got upset, because he was saying all of this stuff about how it would be better for me in the long run if he left and how I needed to grow up and fix myself, so I told him to leave, and he just did. Just like that, he didn't even try to c- convince me that he should stay. He didn't even try to fix it, it was like he wanted to make me upset so he could leave."

He frowned, shaking his head. "And that hurts me more than anything, Clove, because I know how much he was helping you get better, and I know you trusted him to never leave you feeling alone like this," he said, driving past a large orchard, rows and rows of small trees flashing in the rearview mirror. "We all trusted him. Me, you, mom and dad, we all believed that he would take care of you, Clo, and he's really messed it up."

"It hurts me, too, and I c- can't stop thinking that it's all my fault," she said, dropping her hands to her lap and letting new tears run down her cheeks. "It hurts so bad, I really loved him, Gale, he made me feel so safe and now I feel like shit."

"Clo..." he said, pulling the car over as he heard her voice became punctuated with sharp breaths and quick sobs. "I don't want you to feel that way, like it's your fault. He came into your room and he's the one that said that he used you, right? So it was on him. You didn't start a fight, you didn't do anything cruel to him, and you didn't accuse him of anything. It was not your fault."

"I can't help it," she said, squeezing her eyes shut and leaning against him as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder. "I've been feeling so bad lately, and I've been keeping it in because he made me feel so good and I didn't want to lose that, but n- now I feel a million times worse because everything fell apart so quickly."

"I know, I know," he murmured, rubbing her shoulder. "I just want you to know I'm always here, okay? We can go on a drive any time, or watch a movie or just talk, whenever you need to." He sighed as he felt damp spots forming in his shirt from her tears, looking at her sadly. "I just want my little sis to be okay."


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: I know I've been tearing your hearts apart with these last couple chapters, and I'm sorry. Perhaps this chapter will help some of you understand why things turned out the way they did. Just don't lose hope, okay? Keep reviewing & messaging me on tumblr etc, it makes my day :) xx**

_"When I think of_

_Fates worse than death_

_All I can think of_

_Is something you said_

_You said we were golden_

_Bright like the sun_

_And now I am stranded."_

It didn't take Clove long to fall asleep after Gale began driving home, feeling too drained emotionally to even bother with keeping her eyes open. When he pulled back into the driveway of their home he scooped her up into his arms like his father used to do when they were little and carried her into the house, not wanting to disturb her rest. She didn't wake up as he tucked her into bed; she just curled up around her pillow and disappeared beneath the covers.

Cato finished his first drink quickly, glancing around the bar. He was relieved that there weren't many people there; there would be less people to witness him drinking himself into a shameful state before retreating back to his room. His second drink soon disappeared as well as his third, and his thoughts were finally becoming hard for him to grasp. Clove floated in and out of his mind, her teary eyes and shattered voice shrouding him in a feeling of discomfort. He felt completely horrible about bringing up something with her that would have led to this, him drinking alone at a hotel and her most likely crying at home. He'd been feeling more than a bit off ever since the morning after Annie's party, not at all enjoying the fact that he'd covered his little one in bruises and scratches and she didn't say a word against him. The guilt that he felt triggered other negative feelings about himself and his intentions with her from the very beginning, and the more he thought about it the worse he felt. When she said that she'd been scared when he first touched her, and that she let him take things further because she was nervous, he wanted to shake her and tell her that if she was scared she should have run away from him before he got carried away. If what he'd done didn't sound like taking advantage of someone he didn't know what would, and it was unsettling for him to think about how many things she may have done with him out of fear that he would do something cruel to her. He ordered a fourth drink (Something strong, please') and rubbed his temples, wishing he could go back in time and talk himself out of starting a conversation with her that would lead to confusion and hurt on both ends. He knew it wasn't her fault that she didn't understand what he was trying to say, but he became so frustrated with the way she couldn't see things as he did that he grew more and more forceful with his words until it sounded like every moment they'd shared didn't mean anything to him. It scared him that she was so stubborn in her disbelief that he was using her at all, and he didn't quite know how to go about making it clear to her that things simply weren't right.

Clove woke up the next morning with puffy eyes, still clinging to the pillow she'd held close to her after Gale put her to bed. She stayed in bed for a while, replaying the events of the previous afternoon in her mind. Cato has sounded so guilty, and he seemed so set on making her believe that he'd done something bad to her without her knowing. Gale also seemed to believe that Cato could have been manipulating her, and the fact that the two people she trusted most were telling her just made it seem much too possible. Their relationship had seemed simple to her up until recently, and everything changed too fast for her to keep up. Although it was a bit messed up and her feelings in the beginning were much different than later on, she and Cato made sense in her mind. He wanted her as his own, which she became, and she liked feeling cared for and protected. Now that she was forced to look back on everything to see where it had gone wrong, it was becoming evident that perhaps things weren't as perfect as she's believed (or wanted to believe) them to be. That being said, she wasn't anywhere near ready to give up what they'd had. She'd told him to leave, and hit him and yelled and completely fallen apart, but it was all because the things he said were hurting her so badly that she didn't know what else to do. Feeling used was terrible, but not feeling used and then being told that she was might have been the most sickening way she could have imagined their relationship unraveling. Being realistic seemed to have ruined everything, and Cato had seemed very intent on drilling the reality of it all into her mind. She was someone who liked to dream, and her dreams had been ruined with the one person that they were about.

Cato didn't wake up until late in the morning, groaning as he opened his eyes and looked around for his ringing phone. His head felt like it was in a vice, and his mouth felt much too dry to even function as he looked at his phone. When he saw who it was he answered immediately, taking a deep breath. "Clover?"

The sound of his voice was enough to bring her close to tears, and she ran her finger along the chain of her necklace to try and focus herself. "Hey," she said quietly, suddenly forgetting all of the things she'd been planning to say.

He stayed quiet for a while, attempting to collect his thoughts before opening his mouth again. "I'm so sorry," he mumbled, shaking his head. "I'm so, so sorry."

She bit her lip, shutting her eyes. "I just want to know if you're done with me," she said, her voice small and fragile.

Done with her. The idea was like poison through his veins, just as she'd been a drug. Done with her meant never seeing her again, or kissing her again, or holding her in his arms again. "I'm not done with you, I could never be done."

"Then why didn't you try to stay?" The worst part of their argument for her had been when she told him to leave and he didn't say one word to try to convince her that he still wanted to be there. It crushed her, because he was always fighting for her in other ways. He talked to Marvel for her, he tried to get her away from the dark voices in her head, he defender her in front of Glimmer, but when it came to actually fighting for her and their relationship he didn't even lift a finger.

He sighed. "I don't have a good answer for you," he said, and it was the truth. He didn't have some profound reason as to why he just couldn't bring himself to make a case for himself to stay. "I had to go."

"But I just don't understand," she said, her voice wobbling. "You started it, you tried to get me to think you did something wrong, and now you're gone," she said, biting the inside of her cheek. "Were you trying to break up with me?"

He swallowed, staying quiet.

"You're hesitating," she mumbled, sniffling. "Cato, I don't get it, I don't know what I'm missing but this doesn't make any sense." She wiped at her eyes, taking a long, shallow breath.

"Clover, it's not because you did something wrong," he said quietly, able to hear her quiet crying from the other end. "It's just that I don't think you're seeing how messed up our relationship was, or is, or whatever. It's really bothering me now, and it wasn't before."

"I already told you, I know it was messed up," she said, rubbing her thumb over the diamond on her necklace. "And I told you I don't care. What do you want me to say? That I agree that you used me and I'm really angry and I never want to see you again?" She paused, taking a breath. "Even if you did use me and get me to do things with you that I wouldn't have normally done, it made me feel better than I was feeling before because I thought I was making you happy."

He frowned. "You were making me happy, Clove. That's why I...that's why I wanted you in the first place. I was unhappy and lonely and just not in a good place, and you were right there. You're beautiful, and you didn't resist me...I just wanted someone who I could take care of, Clover, and someone who wouldn't hurt me. You let me take control and show you new things, and I felt so lucky, like it was too good to be true. It was selfish, I only wanted you in the beginning to make me happy and to have close to me."

She sniffled quietly, trying to understand. "So you didn't care how I felt about it, but you wanted me to do physical things with you and let you coddle me and stuff like that?"

He took a deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut. "Yes," he mumbled, hating himself for it. "But if you don't think I ever loved you you're wrong, because I did and I still do, more than anything. I just...I loved using you, too."

She bit her cheek again, rolling onto her side with a small sob. "That just doesn't sound like you at all," she said, unable to keep her crying as quiet as she had been. "That sounds crazy, Cato, that you loved using me..."

"It doesn't sound like me because maybe you don't know me as well as you think," he said before he could stop himself, his tone cold without him meaning for it to be. "It's not like I only left the country because of Glimmer. Sure, she really fucked me over and I never really got over it, but a lot of things were going on with my parents, too. I don't think I'm the same person you think I am, I guess."

"But I didn't turn out to be the same either, did I?" she asked, furrowing her brows. "When you decided that you wanted me, that I was your perfect girl, you didn't know about the eating stuff or how I'm not happy but you stuck around...You could have told me about your parents."

"You didn't want to know about it, Clover, and I didn't want you to know. I didn't want to scare you off. I had you with me, and things kept getting better and I didn't see where my issues would have fit in."

"You made room for mine," she said, the familiar feeling of tears on her cheeks soon returning. "I could have made room for your problems, too."

"I didn't want there to be room, Clove, I wanted everything to be perfect," he said, trying to keep his voice calm. "But it's eating away at me, and I just think the whole situation is fucked up because you didn't need this..."

"How do you know what I needed? You didn't know anything about me except for that you liked how I look," she said, struggling to speak properly as tears continued to run down her face. "Did you ever think that maybe I needed you like you needed me, and the fact that I was scared and I didn't realize at first doesn't change that?"

"I didn't know what you needed," he mumbled, sighing. "I just feel bad about it, Clover."

She took a deep breath, sitting up in bed and hugging her knees close to her chest. "I feel bad, too, because you were everything to me, and bow I feel like I don't even know you," she said, her voice almost a whisper. "And I don't know if you want me to, or if you just want it to all be over."

"I just want things to be good again, but I feel like I've already fucked up too much."

"But I don't care, Cato, I don't care if you messed up, I just don't know what to do," she said, kneading her lip. "I don't know how things got bad so fast." The stress of not knowing if he was upset with her, or too guilty to be with her, or feeling strange about their relationship for some other reason was weighing on her, and she felt completely helpless because she didn't know what the problem was that needed to be fixed.

"My father was abusive," he said, and the silence he was met with made his stomach churn. "All through high school he hit my mother, got drunk and smacked her around and shouted at her while I was home. He might have been doing it before then, too, but that's when I noticed and from that point on it just got worse. When I got between them he started hitting me, too, but I could take it as long as he wasn't hurting my mother." Once he started talking he didn't stop, hoping that by telling Clove all of the things he'd kept locked in the back of his mind she would understand that he might not be someone she would want to invest so much of herself and her time in. "I was popular in school, I partied all the time and I was with Glimmer and I was the quarterback and everything was going great, and then Glimmer cheated on me and my mom..." He took a breath, trying to keep his voice from shaking as he continued. "My mom had to call the cops on my dad because he hurt her so badly that she had to get stitches all across her cheek and have her ribs taped. He went to jail for domestic violence charges, I had to testify against him in court, and my mom ran off to who knows where. I was alone and I didn't know what to do. I left to study abroad, and Europe didn't start out as a nice, serene trip like everyone thought. I got into some bad stuff, I did a lot of things that I still really regret in the first few months, and although I grew from that I couldn't help but feel that even after two years I needed a change. I came back expecting to spend time with Gale and my old friends, get back to being social and normal and not think about what happened with my parents, but then you...You don't know how refreshing it was to just see you, angel. So innocent and untouched and just so... Available. I wanted you, I was attracted to you, and the feelings I had when I held you on my lap and whispered in your ear and did all of those other things were incredible because I felt like I was being kind to you. I didn't feel like my father, and I'd been feeling like him a lot lately. I felt like I could protect you and keep all of the bad things away, all of the bad things I've seen, but you didn't know that there were any reasons for me wanting to be near you besides me finding you nice to look at and I'm truly sorry for that. I wish early on I could have told you that I needed someone like you to take care of and be good to because I was terrified of becoming like my father, but I never found a way to tell you."

She was completely stunned. Although he'd hinted at things being wrong in the past, she'd never imagined anything similar to what he'd just confessed to her. She felt ashamed, because the whole time he was trying his best to help with her eating and dealing with harassment, he'd been keeping everything about how his parents made him feel inside. "I'm sorry," she said quietly, her voice breaking. "Cato, I had no idea, I'm sorry," she said, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. Her mind was whirling with too many thoughts and questions, and she didn't know if he'd told her all of those things to get her to never want to see him again or to ask for a chance to mend their relationship.

He stayed quiet for awhile, not sure how to respond. "I just want you to know that I wasn't fair to you in the beginning, but I do love you, Clove. You helped me, and you didn't even know. I never wanted to hurt you, or make you cry like I have," he said, swallowing. "I don't know how you feel, or if you need time to think, but whatever you decide about this, I'll always love you."

She nodded slightly, even though he couldn't see. "I'll always love you, too," she whispered, clutching her phone and trying to keep her tears away as he hung up.


	31. Chapter 31

_A/N: Hello everybody! Things have really been a mess lately with Cato and Clove, and I'm glad you've all been sticking around to see how things turn out. Keep reading, reviewing, and messaging me on tumblr. I love hearing what you have to say! Enjoy the chapter (: xx_

_"I'm roaming through the hills,_

_All alone,_

_I'm trying to find my direction home,_

_A question of space,_

_A matter of time,_

_I follow the stars until the first light."_

After Cato hung up, Clove had no idea what to do. She'd barely been able to get her small goodbye out of her mouth, and she felt her heart freeze and shatter for Cato a million times over, even after he stopped talking. She hated that he gave so much time to her problems when he'd been hiding so many of his own, but she hated it because of how weak and selfish it made her feel. She'd never asked about the details of Europe, or about his parents, or about anything at all that fell beneath the surface. Now that she understood his past, it was easy to see how him causing her physical pain, though unintentional, would make him feel horrible. She could barely fathom what it would be like to grow up in a home where she didn't feel safe, and knowing that he'd suffered through high school with such a broken family life made every inch of her feel heavy with empathy. The way he was using her became evident as well; he wasn't using her sexually, he was using her as reassurance that he wasn't cruel and violent and abusive like his father. If she'd known she was his reassurance, the past 24 hours might not have transpired the way that they did.

Cato fell asleep almost immediately after he hung up with Clove, awfully hungover and emotionally drained. Telling her about his parents had been difficult, especially because nobody besides Gale knew anything about it. He dreamed about her, about his angel appearing in his arms again to make everything better, but each time she materialized she disappeared into thin air just as quickly. He tossed and turned in his sleep, the restlessness of his mind carrying over to his body as well. When he woke up he felt a bit better headache-wise, but the ache in his heart only seemed to grow. His thoughts had been too rapid lately, and his patience had suddenly disappeared which was why his conversation with Clove in her room had turned into such an unfortunate event. He felt as though if he'd taken the time to carefully explain why he was feeling bad about their relationship, there would have been much fewer tears (maybe none at all) and a much higher chance of things getting fixed. Instead he rushed into a very vague explanation that left her confused and hurt, and he'd never intended to cause her pain.

She got out of bed and walked into her bathroom, turning on the hot water for a shower and taking a deep breath. She didn't have any sort of plan in mind, or any idea that would fix the distance between Cato and herself. She undressed and got into the shower, the scratches on her hips stinging from the heat. She stayed under the stream of water for quite a while, taking her time to go through her usual routine and attempting to clear her mind. She shut off the water and got out once the hot water started to run out, drying off and wrapping her towel around her body before blow drying her hair, trying to think of anything to allow her time to collect herself before deciding what to do. Her mind felt fatigued, like all of her thoughts had been used up and all she could do was contemplate the same few bits of information behind her eyes. The story of Cato's past played in her head like a song on repeat, the way his voice broke when he spoke about his mother causing her to shiver each time she thought about it.

When he woke up again it was noon, and his headache had dulled to an uncomfortable heavy feeling in his skull. He took a shower and got dressed, though had no plans of leaving the hotel. He was startled when his phone began to ring, furrowing his brows slightly when he saw Katniss's name illuminated on the screen. "Hey, Katniss," he said upon answering the call, sitting down on his bed.

"Hey," Katniss responded, turning down the volume on her television. "I wanted to talk to you, I heard something happened with you and Clove."

He sighed. "Yeah, we had an argument, and a misunderstanding...I'm not staying there anymore," he said, wishing he didn't have to talk about it any longer.

She frowned, leaning her head back and looking up at the ceiling. "Have you talked to her about it? Gale said he'd really worried about her," she said, wondering what could have possibly caused such a large issue between the two.

"I talked to her, and I did my best to explain, but I don't know if she's upset or just confused or what. I don't know if she wants to see me."

"I can go find out, if you want. If she wants to see you I'll drive her to where you are, and if not I'll tell you," she said, getting up and slipping on a pair or flip flops before grabbing her keys. "Where are you?"

He gave her the address of the hotel and his room number before she hung up, not at all sure what he would say to Clove if she were to decide to come see him. He'd already apologized countless times, and told her all of the things that counted as his most closely guarded secrets, and he just felt as if there weren't many things left to say.

Clove furrowed her brows as she heard a car door shut outside, finishing getting dressed in leggings and a loose t- shirt before walking downstairs. "Hey, Kat," she said once she saw who'd entered her home, letting out a sigh as Katniss hugged her tightly.

"Want to go hang out?" Katniss asked, rubbing Clove's back softly. "We can talk, or not, but I think you should get out of the house."

"Sure, but don't you want to see Gale?" Clove asked, pulling back from the hug slightly and looking up at the older girl.

"Nope, I've already talked to him," she said, shrugging. "Come on." She led Clove out to her car and got in, waiting until Clove had secured her seatbelt to pull out of the driveway. "So, I don't really know what happened with Cato, because Gale didn't tell me that much, but I know where he is if you have any desire to speak to him in person," she said, glancing at Clove.

She chewed her lip, shrugging and looking down at her lap. "I don't know, I don't know what I'd say to him." After talking to him on the phone she'd thought a lot about calling him again, but had no idea what a person was to say after hearing a deeply personal and sad story such as the one he'd shared with her. She did feel like it changed things, and that she could understand why their relationship was making him feel so bad, but she didn't know where he stood in terms of wanting to get back together with her or wanting them to stay as broken as they were.

"Maybe it will just make it easier to decide what you want to do," Katniss said, starting on the way towards the hotel. "I just think you were a lot happier with him, and before you decide to end it..."

"I don't want to end it, Kat, I want it to be good again but I don't think it can," she said, her tone defeated. "I think everything's really different now." She wasn't used to the atmosphere that surrounded her when she thought about their relationship at this point; it felt unsure and negative and confusing and completely uncomfortable.

"Clo, it's all up to you. I just think that seeing him might make what you need right now a bit more clear. If you don't feel comfortable being in a room with him, then maybe it's time for a break or time to consider moving on, but if you don't feel that way then you need to talk with him about making things work again."

Clove hated to even consider moving on, because she honestly didn't think she could. She knew her personality, and she knew that she wasn't the type to just be strong and allow things to roll off her shoulders and search for the positive in the situation. She was the type to dwell and blame herself and drown in negative feelings, and that wouldn't be productive at all. "I want to see him," she said quietly. "I'm just really scared."

Katniss sighed, parking the car in a space in front of the hotel. "I'll be right here. Call me or text me if you need anything, or just come back to the car," she said, reaching for Clove's hand.

Clove took her hand and squeezed lightly, nodding. "Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. "Thanks, Kat." She got out of the car and walked quickly into the hotel, shutting her eyes for a moment once she was in the elevator. She was having trouble staying calm, and when the elevator dinged signaling that she'd reached his floor she felt ready to vomit. She walked down the hall, scanning the room numbers until she came upon his.

He almost didn't hear the quiet knock on his door, but once he did he got up and walked quickly to answer it. He opened the door, swallowing as he looked down at his wilted Clover, the broken dolly that stood before him with still-puffy eyes and too many things to think about. They stared at eachother for a while until she stepped further into the room and he shut the door behind her. Every time he thought he knew what to say, the words caught in his throat.

She looked around the room, then back at him, shifting nervously from foot to foot. "Cato..." she said, her voice almost audible. She blinked as he took her hand and walked her to the bed, biting down on her lip as he sat down and lifted her easily onto his lap. It was hard not to cry as he held her, rocking her slowly and resting his chin on her shoulder. It felt too familiar, and nothing in the past couple days had felt familiar at all. She shook slightly as her tears began, still trying to keep them inside as his hand met her hip beneath the waistband of her leggings and he traced one of the scratches he'd left on her skin.

"I'm sorry, angel," he whispered, his voice barely above the faint breeze that blew outside. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." His finger traveled over the marks he'd left and he took a deep breath, exhaling against her neck.

She shivered slightly, her tears dripping onto the arm he'd wrapped around her middle. "Me, too," she whispered. "For everything. I'm sorry." She tilted her head back and sniffled, sobbing softly as he moved his hand inside her shirt and began caressing her stomach and the area of her ribs.

"I didn't want this to happen." Touching her skin felt like the sweetest torture, underscored by her quiet crying and her tears wetting his arm. "I didn't want to make you cry." His hand moved slowly to her breast, cupping her delicately as he had the very first time she'd given him permission.

She took in a sharp breath, bringing a hand to her mouth and shuddering noticeably as his finger traced the top of her bra. "Do you want to keep me or do you just want me one last time?" she asked, her voice small and punctuated with tear drops.

He pressed his lips to the crook of her neck, then to the soft skin beneath her ear. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, not answering her question. It was too hard to think about, and at the moment he couldn't think about what would be best for them in the long run. All he could think about was the feeling of her heart beating underneath her warm skin, and the heartbreaking sound of her muted crying. "I'm so sorry, baby girl." He moved her legs, a palm on each knee, so hers rested on the outside of his.

"What do we d- do?" she asked, her hands resting on his forearms as he massaged her thighs gently, his hands rubbing circles on the material of her leggings. "We can't just...just not know what we're going to do."

He swallowed, one of his hands inching closer to the apex of her thighs. "What is there to know? We don't know, who's going to tell us?"

She sniffled as his fingers brushed the front seam of her pants, shaking her head slowly. "I can't," she murmured, shivering as he ran his fingers over her again. "I can't, please stop."

He froze, wrapping his arms around her again. "Can't what?"

"I can't let you do that when I don't even know what we are right now." She sighed as she stopped crying, leaning back against him. "What are we, Cato? What are we going to be?"

He stayed quiet for a while, holding her close. "Clover, I just don't know. I...I need you, I don't know what I'll do if I can't have you anymore. I don't want you to need me back, because I don't think I've been honest enough with you and I think you deserve better and I think if you didn't need me it would be easier for you."

She nodded slightly. "Maybe I don't want it to be easier," she said softly. "I just want things to go back to how they were. I don't want better, I want us back. I just want us."

"I want us, too," he murmured, kissing the back of her neck. "I want us so, so badly."

She placed her hands on his arms again, trailing her fingertips back and forth over his skin. "Can we try again? Please?" she asked, squeezing her eyes shut. "We can try to fix everything that's wrong, I just need it back, I need what we had back," she said, her voice quivering. "I'll die if I can't have it back."

He moved her from his lap and set her on the bed beside him, cupping her cheeks. "Don't say that," he said, his voice low. "I want to try again but I don't know if we'll get that back," he said, brushing his thumb over her lips. "I think everything's changed, kitten."

"But we could pretend it didn't change, we could pretend everything is fine and nothing even happened," she said, her watery eyes meeting his. "Right? Couldn't we just pretend?"

"We pretended too much, Clover, that's why all of this happened. We can't do that anymore."

"Why? It's all I do anyways." Wonderland wasn't a place for the highly realistic non- pretending types, and whether she wanted to be or not she was there all the time. Pretending was how she coped, even if she didn't cope particularly well, and she would much prefer acting as though everything was fine to going through things like this with too many tears and conversations and explanations and bad feelings.

"I know it is," he said, sighing. "But what if you didn't have to anymore?"

"I don't control that, Cato," she said, shaking her head. "I don't control when I feel like dealing with things or when I feel like detaching myself from reality and going somewhere else instead."

"I'll help bring you back, then," he said quietly, pressing his lips to her forehead. "Wherever you go, I'll bring you back and then you can start going to me and not going there anymore."

She nodded. He was trying, and hearing that he wanted to replace the places in her mind she disappeared to when things got too hard for her to even cry to him about was reassuring. "I want you to go to me, too," she said, placing her hands on top of his. "I want you to talk to me and tell me if you feel sad or if you're angry or anything at all. I know how it feels to keep it all inside."

"I'll talk to you," he whispered, taking his hands away from her face and hugging her gently. "If it means I can have you back, I'll do anything."


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Wow, look who it is, Chloe with another excuse. It's summer, so I've added more dance classes to my schedule and been spending time with friends and whatnot, not to mention the horrible writer's block I had with this chapter. I apologize, and I hope that you guys all review!**

_"Hold me in your arms,_

_Love me like your best friends did,_

_Promise I won't hurt you kid,_

_Hold me really tight until the stars look big,_

_Never let me go."_

Clove squeezed her eyes tightly shut, burying her face in the crook of Cato's neck as his hands traveled slowly up and down her back. She stayed quiet as he laid down with her still in his arms, holding the front of his shirt tightly in her fists as if he was the only thing keeping her from drowning. "Never again, Cato, don't ever do that to me again," she whispered, her words more of a plea than a command. Although she was trying to be strong, and stand up for herself and make sense of everything and just grasp the smallest bit of control, she wasn't going to pretend that she didn't need him. She was a pretender, but not to the point that she would deny the fact that she'd grown to depend on him more than anyone.

"Never," he said quietly, pressing his lips to her forehead. "Clove, I'll never hurt you again." He hated that the word 'again' even had to leave his tongue, because it was a promise he'd broken initially. He had told her that he would keep her safe, but it was an undeniable fact that he'd put her through a lot of emotional pain over the past few days and it made his heart ache with the desire to change things. She was giving him a chance now, though, to change things and become better, and the thought was more reassuring than not. He looked at her, stroking her cheek softly as she finally opened her eyes and looked at him as well. "I love you, kitten," he whispered, kissing her so lightly that he wondered if their lips really touched.

She let her eyes flutter closed at his faint kiss, brushing her lips against his in return. The gentleness was in strong contrast with how their interactions had been as of recently, and as he kissed her again she could almost feel the nervousness radiating from him; she was sure that he was being so tender with her because he was afraid that she would leave if he wasn't. Truthfully, she was thankful for him being so cautious. The thought of anything more than the light kisses that they now scattered across one another's faces scared her, because she knew he could make her weak with desire in a moment and all of her calculated thoughts would disappear in a fraction of the time that it took her to get to the state of mind she was in. Stopping him was absolutely not something she was used to, but she felt that until she was healed (she knew very well that she wasn't) it would be dangerous to be so fragile around him again. Fragile in a different way than sobbing into his shirt, yes, but fragile nonetheless. When he touched her in the ways that he often did, she became lost and usually had no desire to return. It was like a drug and her addiction was dangerous, because she could always have his touch. Even today, when she'd come to have a serious conversation about their tattered relationship, he'd been ready to make her skin feel on fire and her heart beat wildly. The feeling he gave her was easily accessible, and to say she didn't crave it was a lie. She couldn't give in right now, though, when other things were more important than the things he could do to her body. "I should go, Katniss is waiting," she said quietly, kissing him once more before getting out of the bed.

He nodded, getting up as well. "Will you be back?" he asked, watching her as she adjusted her clothes. It was hard for him to kiss her and nothing else, because he'd grown so used to trying to please her physically whenever he could. It was especially common for him to try and make her feel better in non-verbal ways when she was unhappy; when she was upset with him at his and Gale's party for talking to Glimmer he'd walked into her room and had her squirming with pleasure in minutes. It was a vice for them both. He hated seeing her upset and he knew that making her feel good distracted her from that, and trying to keep her happy was always his priority.

"I don't know, I haven't even told my parents what happened yet," she said, studying the pattern on the carpet. "They won't want me to see you. I can lie and say I'm with Kat, but she might get tired of driving me here. I don't know if I should tell them that we've talked and we're making changes, or keep it a secret." Although she and Cato seemed to be making progress, her father was protective when it came to her emotions and she knew he was livid with the fact that she'd been such a mess over what had occurred. When it came to the topic of the fact that his own daughter was so upset with herself that she didn't want to eat, or now, with Cato, put herself into what he thought was a bad situation, Mr. Rusakov became angry. Angry at himself for not being a good enough father to keep her from hurting herself, and angry at her (though he knew he shouldn't be) for not seeing how many people cared about her. Cato was now the bad guy in his eyes, and that could potentially be impossible to change.

"Alright, let me know," he said, sighing and wrapping her in his arms once more before she went. "I love you, princess," he mumbled, pressing his lips to the top of her head.

"I love you, too," she whispered, turning away from him once he released his hold and walking quickly from the hotel room.

"How was it? You were gone for a while," Katniss said once Clove got back into the car, unable to read the expression on her face. She'd been a bit worried at how long it had taken her to get back, but she hoped the time had at least been positive.

"It was fine," Clove said, shrugging and looking down at her lap. "We talked a lot, and figured some things out. I just don't know where it's going to go from here, you know? I don't know what's going to change."

Katniss nodded, sighing. "Yeah, it seems like things just got really complicated in a short amount of time." She stayed quiet for a while, pulling out of the parking lot. "But...what are you going to do about your parents?" she asked, glancing at Clove for a moment. She knew their family well, and although Mr. and Mrs. Rusakov were fairly lenient with their rules, when it came to their daughter's emotional state they always grew more protective.

"I don't know what to do," Clove said, shrugging and shaking her head. "I talked to my mom about some stuff so now she's already concerned, and she probably told my dad that I'm unstable, and then there's all this stuff with Cato and they probably think it's all his fault. I just don't know how it could work out, if that makes sense. Even if I've forgiven him, I don't want to tell all of his secrets to get them on his side. I want to tell them the truth because I want them to trust me, but if they get mad at me for seeing Cato I don't know what I'll do. I don't like this drama at all, it makes me feel sick."

"I understand," Katniss said, sighing. " I think that when people are trying to protect you they sometimes forget that it's important to support you in your decisions and hear what you have to say. If you want to see Cato, they are allowed to worry but they shouldn't restrict you so much. It just makes for bad energy between everyone."

The rest of the car ride was quiet as Clove mulled over how to approach her parents; she knew that rather than sneaking around to see Cato she should tell them that she felt like he deserved another chance with her and that they talked things over, but she was more nervous about their reactions to her speaking to him so soon after he'd left than she'd been about seeing him in the first place. Katniss dropped her off at home with a promise that she'd be there as someone to lean on if her parents were angry with her, and she went inside feeling a bit better knowing she had a friend to count on completely.

"Clove, where have you been?"

She took a deep breath, chewing her lip as she looked at her father. "Kat picked me up, sorry I didn't call. I just really wanted to talk to her," she said, shrugging a bit.

He nodded slightly. "Alright, but you really shouldn't be going off without telling us, your mother and I have been talking and we both think that you need to be a bit more responsible..."

Clove furrowed her brows. "Responsible? What's that about?"

"Cato, honey. We think that maybe it was irresponsible of all of us to allow you two to be together, because seeing how much he's hurt you really made me question what kind of person he was, and your mother feels the same way."

"You don't know what kind of person he is," she said quietly, shaking her head. "There were a lot of things that I didn't know about him, that you didn't know about him...He didn't hurt me on purpose, dad, it was a misunderstanding." She hated the way he was looking at her, as if taking her seriously was the last thing he could do.

"So he was keeping things from you? Clove, that's not a good thing. You need to stop putting yourself in destructive situations like this, it isn't good for you. If what your mom told me is true, you were relapsing with him and he might have been part of the reason."

She frowned, scoffing. "That has nothing to do with him, you of all people should know that. If anything he helped me, the only reason that I was getting worse was because I wasn't completely honest with him, but we're going to work on it..."

Her father raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean you're going to work on it? Clove, have you been speaking to him without telling your mother and I, or even Gale?"

"It's none of your business," she said, regretting the tone of her voice the moment the words left her mouth. She swallowed, stepping back and turning towards the stairs.

"Don't take that tone with me, and look at me when I'm talking to you," her father said, waiting until she turned around to speak again. "I don't know what he's done to you, or what secrets he had that you think changed things, but that boy is not good for you and we, as a family, are not going to watch your heart get broken over and over again by someone who is too immature to tell you the truth. You can't see him anymore, and he won't ever be in this house again. You were so broken up over what happened, Clove, and now you're acting like it was nothing. You're being reckless and you're not stable enough for that."

"You can't do this, don't you realize?" Her voice quivered; she felt completely attacked and it scared her that she had nobody beside her to defend her words. "I'm telling you that he didn't make things worse for me, that we're working on our problems together and I want to be with him again, and you're trying to ruin everything. I don't understand how you can say you want me to be happy and then keep me from ever being happy with him again. That'll hurt me, dad, you know it will," she said, her voice pitiful.

Her father sighed, frowning and shaking his head. "You are fifteen years old. There will be other boys that will make you happy, and maybe they'll be honest and keep you from starving yourself and taking those damned pills. I found the empty bottle, Clove, I know you're doing that again. You lied when you said you were better, and telling your mother that you think you're relapsing after all this time is not good enough, Clove. We needed to know sooner. You act like you don't care about yourself at all, and we all try so hard for you."

"Stop, just stop," she said, shaking her head as tears sprung to her eyes. "It was empty because Cato flushed the pills down the toilet! I'm trying to tell you that he's actually a good person and you're not even listening to me. Why are you so against me? It's like everyone in this family is against me except for Gale right now, and I really hate it. It's hard for me too, you know? It's hard feeling so alone all the time and Cato made that a little easier..."

"I'm not against you, and you are not alone. Don't be dramatic." He took a breath, his voice growing in volume. "Clove, don't you see that you have people that are worried about you and you're ignoring them? I'm trying to help, we are all trying-"

"No you aren't!" she shouted, a sob passing her lips. "You aren't trying to help, you're trying to take him away and I'll be left all alone again. Do you really think that'll make me want to eat, dad? You think I'll be happy at all without him? I'll take a million pills if you take him away from me-" She didn't even see his hand draw back through the blur of tears spilling from her eyes, but her sentence was cut off as she felt the sharp sting of a slap across her face. She stumbled back, shaking her head as her crying became more violent. "And you're mad at him for hurting me? I hate you, I fucking hate you," she whispered between body shaking sobs, sniffling and turning around quickly, slamming the door behind her with an unsteady hand as she dashed from the house.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: This chapter was very hard to write, and I've made a lot of revisions. I hope you're all interested in how the story is going! I love reading your reviews and hearing what you have to say. I'm sure I will hear a lot about this chapter, so here you go.**

_"Take a break_

_You must be tired from the strain_

_Take a break_

_I might ask our pain_

_Please, slow down_

_You are making my head spin_

_Please, slow down_

_You have all I have to give."_

Clove ran down the sidewalk away from her house, tears streaking her cheeks as she tried in vain to blink them away. The pain and shock that she felt, more emotionally than anything, was completely overwhelming. She knew that she needed to get away, but she had no idea where to go and did not feel at all ready to call someone to help her. She made it as far as the park a couple blocks away, gasping for breath and clutching at the tightness in her chest that had sprouted the moment she began crying. She sobbed loudly, collapsing on a bench and pressing her hands to her eyes. She moved a hand to her cheek, sniffling at how tender it felt to the touch. Her sobbing masked the sound of someone approaching, and until she took a long shaky breath and opened her eyes she had been under the impression she was alone.

"Well, look who it is," Marvel said, chuckling at the crying mess of a girl that sat curled up on the bench before him. "How's it going, Clove? Good?"

She almost couldn't believe how horrible her luck was, shaking her head and trying to quell her tears. Of all the people to show up when she already felt completely helpless, it had to be someone who had made a habit of victimizing and terrorizing her for fun. "Just go away, Marvel, honestly I can't deal with you right now."

He raised an eyebrow as she moved her hands from her face, noticing that one side was quite a bit pinker than the other. "Hm, so did you fuck up your blush or is someone smacking you around?"

She scowled, feeling as if she was moments from vomiting or passing out; she couldn't decide. "Go away," she pleaded quietly, not knowing what else to do. "Please, just go away."

"Oh my God," he said, a disgusting amount of amusement in his voice. "After all that shit he said about how he would never let me near you again because I was so horrible to you, he hit you. Wow, that's fucked up," he said, letting out a laugh. "Man, Clove, what'd you do to get him that mad? Or does he just lose his temper and beat you when he feels like it?"

It took her a moment to understand that Marvel thought Cato had been the one to hit her, and the thought made her stomach churn. She knew Marvel well enough to know he would tell everyone he possibly could that Clove was in an abusive relationship with Cato, even though it was far from true. Going back to school would be hell, and she could imagine all of the jokes and sly comments already. School had been hard to deal with before, and now there was something new for her to be harrassed about. "Don't, Marvel, it doesn't have to do with him," she said, hugging her knees to her chest. "Can you just please, please leave?" Marvel made her feel belittled; he stood above her with a shiver-inducing expression and she was literally begging him to leave her alone.

He shook his head, a sick smirk playing on his lips. "No, I think right now is a really good time to talk, actually. I mean, it seems like you're free." He watched as she bit her hand in an attempt to stop crying, tilting his head. "God, you're stupid. You are so fucking stupid, Clove! Of all the guys you could be with you chose someone who treats you worse than I did. Are you into that? You like guys that treat you the way you let them see you, like you're nothing?"

"Stop," she whimpered through a new round of tears, moving to stand up from the bench before Marvel pushed her back down by her shoulders. "Leave me alone, honestly, this isn't e- even worth your time."

"You're not worth my time, that's true, but I'm trying to have a conversation with you. And I love how you look when you cry." He chuckled, wiping a tear from her hurt cheek and being sure to press down firmly just to see her wince. "So let's see what we've got so far. Cato has a thing for girls that look like they're twelve, and you have a thing for guys that don't respect you at all. Sounds healthy, Clove, you're a really cool girl and he's an awesome guy... And, if my sources are correct, you also like getting drunk off your ass and making Cato jealous by teasing other guys, which would mean that you probably deserve whatever he did to you because teasing is just rude, babe." He laughed as she visibly shuddered, reaching out to stroke her arm. "Oh, am I making you uncomfortable? Sorry," he said, his hand moving to her side.

"Just get away from me, please get away," she whispered, choking back tears as she clawed at his hand. "I am tired of defending myself against you, I am so, so tired of all of this. Don't you have something better to do than make my life even worse than it already is? Do you sleep better at night knowing that you've contributed to some of the worst things that have happened to me? I hate my life even more than I already did because of you, I hate you so much, Marvel, I hate you."

He rolled his eyes. "You're right. The worst things in the world were my fault. A dumb rumor and a joke on Facebook. And how is it my fault that your boyfriend hits you? Poor you, it must be so hard to try and make it through the tough struggles of teenage life when you live in a fucking huge house with nice parents and tons of money in a good neighborhood..."

"I know my problems don't matter, okay? I know I don't matter, I know I'm nothing and that I deserve all of this, is that what you want to hear? I don't fucking care!" she yelled, shutting her eyes for a moment. "I don't care anymore, I really don't. So just leave me alone because you won't have to be annoyed by my fucking stupid problems for much longer anyways." She shoved past him, unable to hear the things he called after her as she sprinted from the park with her blood pounding in her ears. She ran towards Katniss' house this time, pulling her phone from where it was tucked in her waistband as she neared the front door. She called her, waiting through ring after ring until it switched to her voicemail. "Kat, I need you, I really need you," she said once she heard a beep, her words almost incomprehensible through her tears. "I'm at your house, please let me in, I- I don't know what to do, I can't do this. I really can't do this anymore, everything is s- so wrong..."

Gale came down from his room, pulling out his earbuds as he saw his dad seated at the table, a bottle of vodka still frosted from the freezer and a now full glass before him. "Dad, it's three in the afternoon," he said, chuckling. "Don't you think that's a little early for a drink?"

"It's a great time for a drink," Victor responded, taking a long swig from his glass.

Gale frowned slightly. "Is everything alright? Did you find out where Clove is?" He'd been worrying all day about his sister, not liking that she'd run off while she seemed to be in such a vulnerable place.

"Yeah, I think she was sneaking off to see Cato, or something," his father responded, rubbing a hand over his face. "I messed up, Gale...I don't know where she is. Go get your mother." He took another large sip of alcohol, shutting his eyes.

"She might be seeing Cato because she wants to, dad, and she thinks it'll be good to see him. He's not a horrible person, he's just been through a lot and sometimes he loses his temper and says things he doesn't mean. I talked to her about what happened and she doesn't feel like he deliberately tried to hurt her or make her cry...what do you mean you messed up?"

Clove clutched her phone, desperately awaiting a response from Katniss. After several more calls she gave up, walking further along the sidewalk with no destination in mind. She almost passed the grocery store, then turned around and stepped inside to head straight for the liquor aisle. She grabbed a bottle of whiskey and took it to the self checkout, pretending to swipe it across the scanner before walking quickly from the store without a glance behind her. She opened the bottle as she walked, stopping to take a burning sip. She coughed, taking another sip before continuing to walk further and further from home. She thought about calling Cato but she felt like it was too soon in their newly patched relationship to call him crying about how things were feeling much too hard to bear. She found herself at a busy intersection after a few more swallows of alcohol, clutching the bottle close to her as her eyes darted from car to car. When the 'walk' symbol appeared she stepped into the street, looking around and walking slowly as she made her way across. She looked at her phone, dialing Annie's number as she made it to the other side of the street, leaning against someone's fence after a few more steps. "Annie?"

"Hey, Clove, I'm a little busy right now...Can I text you later?" Annie asked quietly, swatting playfully at Finnick's hand with a small grin.

"Sure," Clove said quietly, hanging up and biting down hard on her lip before she could start to cry again. Alone, alone, alone. The words played in her mind as she walked on, sips of the stolen alcohol warming her blood and muddling her brain. She didn't notice her phone buzzing in her hand once her whole body began to tingle, effectively ignoring calls from not only her mother, but from Gale as well.

"What do you mean you have no idea where she's gone? She was here? What happened?" Eva frowned, grabbing the glass of vodka from her husband's hand. "She isn't picking up her phone, and neither is Katniss. Are you sure she was with her earlier?"

Victor sighed, shaking his head. "No, I'm not sure, but she said Katniss picked her up. I think she may have taken her to see Cato, but I just...I don't know...and I...I did something..."

Gale looked at him expectantly, worry coiling in his stomach. "What did you do?"

Eva and Gale stared at him as he rubbed his eyes, not understanding why he couldn't explain why he had seen Clove and then she'd disappeared again. "I hit her, right in her face. I...I got angry with her and I wasn't thinking, and it just happened and she ran off." His low, shameful words hung heavily in the air, causing Eva's face to blanche and Gale's fists to clench.

Eva stayed silent, covering her mouth with her hand as she looked at her husband with an expression of complete disgust.

Gale shook his head, swallowing. "How dare you do that to her?" he asked, his voice bordering on a growl. "How fucking dare you? She's been having such a hard time and you go and hit her in the face? What kind of father are you?" He stormed out of the house, getting into his car and sliding the key into the ignition as Katniss' name lit up the screen of his phone. "Hello?"

"Gale, thank God," Katniss said, her voice frantic. "Is Clove with you?" She'd plugged in her phone to charge after running some errands, finding five nearly indecipherable and tearful messages from Clove.

"What? No, what's wrong?" he asked, his heart beating quickly as he tried to process his conversation with Katniss on top of what his father had just confessed.

"She left me all these messages, I'm really worried, she said she needed me and that everything is wrong and she can't do it anymore, she was definitely crying but the messages are at least an hour old and she's not anywhere near my house, I looked up and down our street."

"Oh, fuck," he muttered, putting his phone on speaker and resting it in his cupholder as he glanced out of his window, seeing his mother making a beeline for the passenger side of his car. "Did she see Cato today? Have you talked to him?" He looked at his mother as she got into the car next to him, devastated by the pained look on her face.

"I called him a minute ago, I thought maybe something happened with him or she went back to see him but he said he hadn't heard from her since she left and he doesn't know where she is either...Gale, I'm so worried, I don't know what to do. She's not okay, she's really not."

Gale pulled away from their house, taking a deep breath to try and stay calm. "Okay, Kat, I'm going to hang up but if she calls you please go and get her immediately, and let me know when you can, okay?"

Clove, still nursing the bottle of whiskey, stopped walking when she reached the exit to her town from the freeway, knowing that the sidewalk wouldn't continue much longer. She stumbled, sitting down beside the sign for the exit number and trying to keep the world from spinning so quickly. She rubbed her eyes, beginning to cry again as she realized how tired she was from walking so long, and how nobody knew where she was. She blinked repeatedly, watching the cars fly past and crying harder at how easy it would be to just crawl out in front of one of them and end everything and make all of her issues disappear. The tormenting from Marvel and his friends, the constant feeling that she wasn't good enough, the fact that her relationship with Cato would never be the same, and most of all the unbearable shredding of her heart that she felt when she thought about how her father broke such an important promise and contradicted himself in such an awful way. She took a long drink from the bottle, not sure how it was only about a quarter full at this point. The idea of never having to justify herself to anyone again, or prove herself or be responsible for anything ever again seemed comforting, and she imagined that since she couldn't feel her face (or anything, for that matter) being hit by a car would be just as painless as taking a bunch of pills and going to sleep. She took out her phone, dropping it twice before successfully beginning a text message to Katniss. "i love you kat thanky ou for beiing ther formebyou my sisterr godbye i love you ia love you so much im rel y sorry i just cant do it i can t im sorry" she sent, tears splattering her phone's screen as she began a new message to Gale. "gale i love you thebest brother in the whoel wide owrold im aoryy i love you please marry katniss sh es such a good person i love youim sorry i hope you wil miss me because i misss you". She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, taking a shuddering breath before continuing her messages. "mom thnk you for everythhig i hop epyou still love me i odnt want you to be sasd i love you i missyou mom iwihs i told you i wa so sad soooner but im so ry i love you give gale a lot of kissese for me mom i loeev you" After the text to her mother she quivered, her lip wobbling as she began a message for Cato. "i love you cato i wi l never not love you i am so i n loev with you i dont care what you did i just wantyou to hold me . again and i know you cant ever do that againn but i wish yiuou could and i will alwaus be your ba by girl ans your kitten and all thosw things becaues thats what i know you wanted an di just really need you to love me when i say goodbye. i will dmiss you thanky ou cato i lov e ou."

Katniss called Clove the moment she got the text, knowing something was seriously wrong. "Come on, pick up, pick up," she pleaded quietly, getting into her car. "Clove, hello?" she said as she heard Clove pick up, her heart thumping loudly. "Clove, can you hear me."

"Katniss," Clove said quietly, tears splashing onto the ground as she struggled to keep a hold on her phone. "Katniss, I need to tell you goodbye, and I love you." Her words wee badly slurred and she struggled to get them out, her voice distorted by her crying.

"Where are you?" Katniss asked, trying to sound calm though her eyes welled with tears. "Clove, tell me what you see around you, anything."

"Cars," Clove said, looking around at the shaky image of passing cars that she felt like she could see on all sides, above and below her as well. "Cars and the road and dirt and little green plants, I'm at a sign...Katniss, I can't, I'm so tired..." she said, pulling at the weeds near her feet.

"Stay right where you are, Clove, please promise me you won't move."

"I have to go," Clove mumbled, hanging up the call and rubbing her eyes a few times, trying to get her vision to focus.

When Gale heard his phone buzz he pulled over near the grocery store, his heart nearly stopping as he saw Clove's text. He read it over and over, feeling positively sick. He swallowed thickly, shaking his head as a ragged sob jumped from his throat. "Oh my God, mom," he said, looking over as she took out her own phone.

"Gale, Gale where is she?" Eva asked desperately, her eyes already filled with tears. "Where is she? Tell me where she is!"

Gale shook his head, rubbing his eyes. "I don't know, mom, I have no idea where she is," he said, too shocked to move. "Oh my God, oh my God..." He felt completely helpless. He had not idea if his sister had overdosed on pills or slit her wrists or if she was drunk somewhere, and her location was completely unknown to him and his mother. There was nothing they could do except for wait, and hope that somebody knew where Clove was.

Katniss drove quickly with a prayer that she wouldn't get pulled over as she made her way towards the freeway, hoping that her initial instinct of Clove's wherabouts was correct. She didn't try to call or text Gale, wanting to focus on the road as she neared the freeway exit.

"That was Katniss," Eva said, tears running down her face as she looked out of the window, seeing Katniss' car disappearing down the road. "Go, Gale, you have to go."

Gale pulled back onto the road without a second thought, gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white as snow as he sped after Katniss.

Cato felt his phone buzz in his pocket, opening the text message from Clove as soon as he saw who was trying to reach him. He had to read it over twice, but felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up as he read the word goodbye the first time. He left a twenty on the table where he'd been sitting for lunch and ran out to his car while he called Clove, whose phone went straight to voicemail. He tried her home number next, leaning against the wall outside of the restaurant as Mr. Rusakov picked up. "Where is Clove right now?"

Victor sighed, shaking his head. "You are not seeing her again, Cato, I would suggest you just stay away from her. She doesn't need the drama you've caused-"

"This has nothing to do with me, so just listen for a second. I did nothing to harm your daughter, and I never meant to lose control like I did and say the things I said without explaining myself." He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. "And I don't know what you said to her when she got home, but you probably won't see her again, either," he said, his hands shaking. "Because your daughter just texted me a suicide note."

Katniss spotted Clove quickly once she approached the freeway exit, seeing the girl struggling to stand up and clutching a bottle in her hand. There was nowhere to pull over, and because the road was for people to get off of the freeway as opposed to the other way around, she was afraid of blocking oncoming cars. She took a deep breath as she grew closer, making a quick decision and coming to a full stop right beside Clove, causing a car to swerve out of the way as she put her hazards on and got out of the car.


	34. Chapter 34

** A/N: Thanks for your reviews on the last chapter, sorry for keeping you waiting on what happens next. This chapter feels a bit long, but hopefully you enjoy reading! xx**

_"I wake up in the morning and I wonder_

_Why everything's the same as it was_

_I can't understand, no, I can't understand_

_How life goes on the way it does_

_Why does my heart go on beating_

_Why do these eyes of mine cry_

_Don't they know it's the end of the world."_

Clove was too disoriented by the time Katniss arrived to understand what was happening, but struggled against her as she pried the bottle from her hands. "No, I have to go," she whimpered, her eyes wet with new tears. "Stop, please..." She tried to push her way out of Katniss' grasp but there were two arms firmly around her, pulling her towards the car. "I can't, I don't w- want to be here, I don't want to be here anymore. I want to die, I want to die!" She squeezed her eyes shut, her sobs blurring her words as Katniss laid her down in the back seat.

Katniss had acted purely on instinct, knowing that getting Clove away from moving traffic and the bottle in her hand would be a good enough first step. She got into the back seat on the other side, cradling Clove's head in her lap and stroking her hair as She tried to keep from crying at how close of a call it seemed to be. "Shh, Clo, it'll be okay, I promise," she whispered. "Everything will be okay."

Clove sniffled, feeling as though she was sinking and floating simultaneously. "I'm sorry," she managed through her tears, her words words horribly slurred. "Kat, I'm sorry..." She vaguely heard Katniss' voice but couldn't quite make out what she was saying, and found it hard to stay awake.

Gale parked his car right behind Katniss', getting out quickly and rushing to the still-open backseat door. "Clove, thank God," he said, his eyes filling with sadness as he took in the sight of his little sister. Her face was wet with tears and her mascara was badly smudged; it was obvious from the smell of alcohol as he knelt on the ground beside the car that she was beyond drunk. He looked up at Katniss whose eyes pooled with tears and took her free hand, squeezing softly. "Thank you, Kat, thank you so much.

Eva took a bit longer to reach the car, clapping a hand over her mouth as a sob of relief passed her lips. "Clove, oh God, Clove," she whispered, kneeling next to Gale and reaching to touch her daughter's cheek. "What did she do? Should I call 911?"

Katniss took a deep, shaky breath. "When I found her she was holding a bottle of whiskey, and it was a small bottle but it was only a quarter full...she was still awake and trying to stand up, it looked like she wanted to run into the road but she was too drunk to move fast enough. She's asleep now, I think," she said, glad to see that Clove was still breathing.

Eva rubbed her eyes, letting out another sob before sniffling and trying to calm herself down. "Gale, go back to your car and drive to Kat's house. We are not taking her home," she said quietly.

Katniss stayed with Clove in the back, checking constantly that her pulse was the same and she was still breathing. Eva's phone began to buzz and Katniss reached out to take it from her, tilting her head. "It's Victor, do you want me to answer?"

"No, not right now." Eva gripped the steering wheel tightly as she drove, her mind still trying to process what had happened. She couldn't stand the idea of seeing her husband right now, and she knew that the reason Clove ran away in the first place was because of him. It would be better to have her daughter wake up surrounded by people that she knew cared about and loved her; she had a feeling that Clove would feel more safe for the moment if he wasn't near her.

Gale texted Cato where they were going and that Clove was passed out but safe, feeling that he deserved to know and deserved to see her. He tried to stay calm on the drive to Katniss' house, but hated not being with his sister when he knew she was far from alright. Too many things had happened that day for him to wrap his head around, but he felt more grateful for his mother and Katniss than he ever had before.

Once at Katniss' house, Eva tucked Clove into bed and then returned downstairs to the couch where Gale and Katniss were seated. "Someone should check on her every ten minutes or so, in case she wakes up. She's going to feel very sick." The two others nodded, both in a state of quiet shock after the chaos of the day. They all jumped slightly as there was a knock on the door, but Eva soon realized who it was and got up to answer.

"Eva," Cato said, hugging the woman before him without a second thought. "I'm so sorry, for everything." He was relieved when she hugged him back, sighing quietly once they pulled away. He joined the group on the couch, clearly still shaken up by the recent events. "Do you know what happened?"

"I dropped her off at home," Katniss started. "And then I don't really know what happened, but it was something bad because she left me all of these messages where she was crying..." She took a breath, picking at her nails. "I didn't get the messages in time, and I guess she just kept walking, somehow she got alcohol, and ended up by the freeway. I called her right when I got her text, and I could barely understand what she was saying but I just sort of guessed where she was."

Eva chewed her lip, nodding as Katniss spoke. "The reason she left in the first place was because Victor...he got angry with her, he said she snuck off to see Cato, and then he hit her and she left. I don't blame her one bit." She looked down at her lap, shaking her head slightly as new tears filled her eyes. Cato and Katniss hadn't known why she left the house, and the reason was enough to keep Katniss completely silent and completely infuriate Cato. "I just don't understand why he would do something like that, he knows she's having a hard time, he just doesn't listen to her...I didn't hear it, because I was upstairs and I had music on, I wish I'd known what was going on. When they argue, he doesn't understand how hard it is for her when she feels like someone she really loves is mad at her."

Cato nodded slightly, completely understanding what she meant. "When things got bad with me and her, it was because I went about saying something the wrong way and she took it as something bad...I don't know, she seemed like she felt cornered, or just like I was trying to be mean, and I definitely agree that I was being harsh but she wasn't understanding what I was trying to say," he said, his fists still clenched out of anger at Victor. "She's sensitive when people seem upset with her."

Katniss sighed quietly. "That's why she was so devastated when you left, Cato, she thought she'd really messed up and that she could never fix things. She was completely broken up over it, and then to have been in the middle of working things out when her father stepped in and got mad at her for seeing you must have been really scary and overwhelming."

Cato sighed, running his hands over his face. "I just don't know why she would have done something like this, it makes me worry that she'd been thinking about it before or there's something else going on...I don't know, I've seen her really upset before but never to the point that she seemed like...like she didn't want to live anymore, you know?"

"When Marvel posted all of those things about eating disorders on her Facebook, she said she would rather die than go back to school," Gale said quietly. "None of us really thought she was serious, we just thought she needed time to get over it, but maybe she felt like that before and it was just worse this time because she felt like she wasn't safe in her own home. I don't know, I think that what our father did to her could definitely make her feel bad enough to start thinking that nobody cared about her, because things have been weird the past few days and I think she's been feeling really alone."

They all stayed quiet for a while after that, still checking on her frequently. Hours passed and they didn't talk much; everyone was just trying to figure out why Clove had turned to something so awful in such a short amount of time. Cato was the one upstairs when she woke up, quickly calling for Eva as his crushed angel woke up. He could tell she was going to be sick and scooped her up into his arms, setting her down gently on her knees in front of the toilet. "Baby, it's okay," he said quietly, moving her hair away from her face. It was then that he noticed she'd begun to cry, and he truly didn't know what to do besides try to comfort her. It was terrifying to him that her father had hit her and he didn't find out soon enough to talk to her, and that she'd been able to disappear and completely give up without him being aware of any of it. "It's okay, it'll be okay," he whispered, holding her hair back as she clutched the toilet bowl.

Eva was soon upstairs, kneeling beside Cato and rubbing Clove's back as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. "It's good to get it out, honey, you're going to feel a lot better," she said, glancing gratefully at Cato. She was not the least bit surprised at how kind he was being; unlike her husband, she hadn't jumped to the conclusion that Cato was a terrible person. True, she was upset with him for causing her daughter's heart to ache more than it ever had for another person, but after knowing Cato for so long and witnessing Clove's love for him she knew that he couldn't have done something to her with the intent to destroy her fragile emotions. She also knew that although Clove was not completely self destructive, and sometimes she did want things to make her happy. If she snuck out or lied to see Cato, it was because their relationship was worth the tears she'd cried. As a mother who'd been through her fair share of heartbreaks, Eva understood why Clove would want to hold on to Cato and what the two had shared. It was clear that he still cared about her, that he was worried about her safety and wanted to be there to support her, which meant to Eva that he still deserved a chance.

Clove leaned back against Cato once the horrible vomiting had subsided, letting out a pathetic whimper of a sob as her mother wiped her mouth with a bit of toilet paper. "Thank you," she whispered, to no one in particular. She squeezed her eyes shut, sniffling as a tear rolled down her cheek. "I- I-," she began, but her mind still felt fuzzy and there were too many jumbled words spinning in her head for her to string them into a coherent sentence. She hugged her knees to her chest, shaking her head slightly. Wonderland, if it could even be called that anymore, had been turned completely upside down. There were no tea partied and everything was dark and twisted; the corner of thorned vines had grown to engulf everything inside of Clove's head. She was nowhere, and even in Cato's arms she felt misplaced. She'd lost sight of the path she was on (a good one, where her mad hatter returned and made everything bright like it was) and now all she could see was her father's hand and Marvel's sick grin and cars everywhere as she cried and cried and cried, barely aware of Cato rocking her in his arms and her mother combing through her tangled hair with her fingers.

"Should she have some water, or something?" Cato asked, momentarily looking up from his Clover to meet Eva's eyes with his own. "Or should we let her cry, and then sleep some more?" His voice was tired, as if he'd screamed all through the previous night. He'd previously thought that he'd seen his little one near her worst, but now she was so beyond her breaking point that he found it to be a miracle that she was even here.

"I think she should go back to bed," Eva said softly, placing a hand on Cato's shoulder as he carried Clove back to the bed and tucked her beneath the covers like a child. "Next time she wakes up she can have some water and a couple aspirin, but for now I think she's too overwhelmed to be awake."

Clove was soon asleep again, though the pillow was promptly soaked with tears, and Eva filled in Gale (and a sleeping Katniss) on Clove's status. Cato stayed silent, staring down at his hands and wishing he could have been there to hold her back from wherever his wayward girl thought she was running to. He couldn't help but let guilt seep through him, knowing that in one way or another he'd contributed to the negativity in her head that made drinking herself into a stupor and sending out suicide notes an appealing option. His princess had fallen from her tower, and it was crumbling to begin with.

Victor called Eva for the sixth time, sighing with relief as she finally answered. "Eva, what the hell is going on?" he asked, running a hand through his hair. After Cato had hung up he felt stuck, not knowing where anyone in his family had gone and dreading awful news upon hearing back from Gale or Eva.

"I am not going to have this conversation with you right now because I don't know the whole story and I honestly cannot bear the idea of discussing it with you after what you've done," Eva said, standing up and walking to the kitchen. "Clove is safe and I am at the Everdeen's with Katniss, Gale, and Cato. I don't want to hear a word from you against that boy, either, because that is another story that you don't know the half of, most likely. I don't want you coming over here, because when Clove wakes up she will want to be surrounded by people she can trust, who will be supportive of her. I would be surprised if she felt that you are one of those people as of right now."

He took a deep breath, knowing that all of her points were valid. "Okay, as long as she's alright."

"She is far from alright, Victor. You should just be happy that she's alive." Eva hung up, feeling the knot in her stomach tighten at the mere sound of her husband's voice. She'd been with him for years and not once had he laid a hand on her or her children, and she didn't know when the shock of him hurting Clove would wear off.

Clove slept all through the night, her dreams confusing and more frightening than she'd ever had. Flashes of what happened made their way through her subconscious reminding her that yes, her father did slap her across the face and yes, Marvel did say horrible things to her and yes (yes, yes, yes!) she did steal a bottle of alcohol and drift into a sleep-walking state that almost took her to the end of it all. She was woken up a couple times by her mother to have a glass of water and an aspirin, but otherwise she stayed in a deep sleep. When she woke up in the morning, or rather the afternoon (12:15 was hardly morning) she still felt exhausted, and she felt heavy as though her body had been filled with sand. She dragged herself from Katniss' bed, walking downstairs to find Gale and Katniss talking quietly on the couch and her mother seated in an armchair staring at nothing in particular. Cato was in the kitchen with his back to the stairs, filling up his third cup of coffee for the day. She stood still at the foot of the stairs for a moment, chewing her lip and taking a small breath as everyone's attention turned to her as if she was supposed to say something. Her eyes flicked from person to person and she felt her eyes well with tears (too frequent of a feeling) and her lip begin to quiver. "I'm sorry," she managed, her voice small enough to have been muffled by the drop of a pin.

Gale scooted away from Katniss to make room for his sister, who rushed to fill the space between them. "I- I- didn't know what to do," she cried quietly, Gale holding one of her hands and Katniss holding the other. Eva came to sit beside Katniss and Cato beside Gale, everyone listening intently. Clove's thoughts came quickly, a flood of consciousness and a need to let everyone know what landed them all here encouraging her to continue speaking. "I got home and dad was so angry with me, I don't know why he was so mad," she said, words leaving her mouth before she could think about them too much. "He said I need to be more responsible because I'm reckless and unstable and I went to talk to Cato after he hurt me, and all of that might be true but he said I wouldn't e- ever see Cato again," she said, shaking her head. "I got really upset, because it wasn't fair at all, it really wasn't, and I was yelling at him but he was yelling at me, too..." She closed her eyes, squeezing both Gale's and Katniss' hands tightly. "And then he hit me." Everyone excluding Clove shared a knowing frown, their real curiosity and concern lying in what happened after that. "I ran to the park and h- he was there..."

Cato furrowed his brows, looking at her. "Who was there?" he asked, already angry at whoever it was for not helping his Clover when she still might have been able to be helped.

"Marvel." Realization of how awful things went the previous day dawned on everyone as Clove described all she could remember from what Marvel had said, and they understood completely how Marvel's words combined with Victor's actions could easily make life seem completely unbearable to a girl whose emotional state was already teetering. Her story grew less detailed after the alcohol came into play, but she tried her best to tell what was going through her head at the time all of this was happening. She felt like she owed them an explanation; the tiredness on everyone's face made it clear that they'd all been up worrying about her. "It's a combination of everything," she said, her voice still watery as she wrapped up her recount of yesterday's events. "That's why I feel like this, because everything is so awful and I can't fix it, I don't know what can make it better and I never want to go to back to school and I just want to get out of here, I w- wish you guys would have let me, I don't want to be here..." Her words became fast and panicked, only stopping as she felt Gale's fingers running through her hair.

"Shhh, Clo, we understand," he said, his voice gentle. "We want you here, we all want you to be here with us." He continued stroking her hair, knowing that it always managed to soothe her even if it was just a little bit.

"I just feel so tired, and I don't know what to do," Clove said quietly, taking a deep breath. "I'm not happy to be alive, not really." It felt strange telling this to a room full of people, like she was asking for pity or sympathy or any number of things she simply didn't want.

Nobody in the room knew what to say; the fact that Clove wasn't happy to be alive was chilling. None of the people in that room knew what to tell her that could convince her things would get better if she just kept trying. Her mind wasn't in any sort of place to be optimistic, and getting through to her would be near impossible while she was still feeling so awful.

"Can I talk to Clove alone?" Cato asked, taking the silent nods of the other people in the room as a cue to stand up and take Clove's hand. He led her to the hallway beside the bathroom, hugging her close to him once they were out of sight. "Kitten, I am so sorry," he murmured, shutting his eyes. "I had no idea how you were feeling, that you were thinking of that, of ending your life..."

She clung to his shirt, burying her face in his chest and breathing in the familiar scent of his cologne. "I wasn't thinking of it, not until yesterday, it j- just got so much worse so fast...there are too many things wrong, Cato, I can't do this, I can't fix it." She felt just as helpless as she had the day before. Despite the fact that she had this group of people supporting her, the way she'd been torn up inside by her father hitting her and Marvel's cruel words couldn't be remedied by hugs and comfort alone. "I just feel like I'm...I don't know, I feel like I'm wasting everyone's time."

He pulled back to look at her, shaking his head. "Clover, you aren't wasting anyone's time. You're making all of our time better, because we get to see you and be around you. You're so important to us, princess. You're so important to me. I love you, I love you, I love you, and I will never stop loving you. No matter how sad you are, or how angry, or anything at all, I will love you."

She bit her lip, a tear soaking into the material of his shirt. "I'm not allowed to be with you, Cato," she whimpered, shaking her head. " My dad said I can never see you again. I don't even know what he'll do if I visit you at your hotel...I need you so much," she said, squeezing her eyes shut tightly. "I don't want to live without you, I don't want to live with the fact that my dad hates me, I don't want to live with all of the things Marvel and everyone said to me floating around in my head," she said, sniffling. "It's too much, I don't want to think about any of it. I want to die."

He took a long breath, holding her protectively. "I know things are horrible for you, Clove, I know that they really are. But you have to hold on, and just try to keep bad thoughts out of your head...I can't bear to think about what would have happened if Katniss hadn't found you in time. I love you so much, and if I could take back the mistakes I've made with you I would. I don't want you to feel like this, like you can't bear to be alive. I just don't know what to do, angel, I just need you here."

She shrugged defeatedly, a choked sob shaking her body. "It's painful to be here," she whispered. "I don't know what else to tell you, or anyone. I'm sad, Cato, I'm really fucking sad and I don't think it'll go away unless I do."


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: I'm going on vacation in 4 days, and depending on if it's horribly dull or not I may or may not have time to update while I'm there (: I love reading your reviews, and I do get all of your messages on tumblr. If I don't respond it's just because you're on anon! Enjoy this chapter, and review as always xx**

_"I've got a ghost mouth_

_With a ghost frown_

_And I'm too scared to get out_

_And get into heaven_

_Gotta quit staying home_

_Gotta get outta here_

_It just hasn't been home_

_Since you haven't been here."_

Cato held his shaking Clover tightly, her body rattling in his arms as she struggled to suppress her sobs. "You can't go away, Clove, you can't. We need you, kitten..." He despised the way that she couldn't see her importance, and that the idea of no longer existing was too hard for everyone that cared about her to fathom. "Gale is so worried, baby. Your mother is worried and so is Katniss. We all need you."

"Stop," she whimpered, shaking her head. "Don't you know h- how bad I feel already about worrying everyone? I don't want to make anyone sad, I just don't feel like I can be here anymore...You can't tell me to stay, I'm a bad person. I'm not even thankful that Kat found me. Tell her that, she'll hate me," she said, her sentence punctuated with a sob. "And I want her to hate me. Everyone should hate me, why can't you all just hate me? Please..." She felt like by completely throwing her life away without a moments notice she hadn't necessarily earned warm hugs and words of love, love love. She wanted screaming, and yelling, and hitting. She wanted them all to break her, so it would be easy for them to let her go. She wished that each and every one of them would tell her that they hated her, that she was worthless and alone, so that she'd be proven right and be able to end herself knowing that nobody would miss her. The sadness that usually hid inside of her, manifesting itself into hateful whispers in her mind or regretful feelings, had doubled in size and swallowed her whole. Guilt was suffocating her; guilt for making people worry about her, guilt for involving Cato in her problems, and guilt for not being quick enough to remove herself from everyone's lives. It didn't matter that Cato was holding her as if his life would be at stake if he let her go, she could only focus on the growing feeling that all of it was wrong. She shouldn't be here, being comforted as if she deserved comfort. She should be lying still in the road, her mind finally free from the torment that caused all of the trouble in the first place. At least, that was what she believed. It felt completely incorrect for Cato to be holding her like this, because he was a part of her fantasy that seemed to be washed away. Her wonderland, while on it's way to being restored, had been destroyed in a horrific tornado that left her shivering and alone. Alone with her family and alone with her best friend. She only had her thoughts for company (die, just disappear, please die) and they were not her cup of tea.

"I know you feel bad," he said, cradling the back of her head as she dissolved further into the tears that left her eyes. "Clove, I know things are so bad right now," he continued, squeezing his own eyes shut. "But you have to keep trying, okay? You have to, because I've never needed someone as much as I need you. The past few days have made me realize how much I need you, angel. You're like my air, Clover, and being without you is really fucking hard." He took a deep breath, trying to steady his voice. "I'd follow right after you. There is no way I could live with myself if you...if you did that." Even saying the words, imagining the phrases that could mean the end of his little one, was too hard to bear.

"You're making me feel guilty," she said, her voice thin and unsure. "W- what if I just can't stand to be here? What if I knew I'd be a lot happier if I wasn't here at all?" She felt much too overwhelmed already by everyone worrying about her, and now Cato was saying that if she was gone he wouldn't survive. It was a terrifying thought; her life could drastically impact someone else's. "I don't want to be the reason you die," she whimpered, shaking her head and trying to tug her way out of his arms. "I don't want anything to do with you! Cato, I don't want to do that to you, you should forget about me," she cried, relieved when he let go of her. "Please, forget about me. Find another girl who isn't so sad." She wanted nothing more than isolation, and she wished she could just effortlessly carve herself out of everyone's lives before they could say anything about it. "Please forget me."

He shook his head, rubbing his eyes. "Do you really think I could, Clove? You're everything to me, you don't forget someone like that. I would never be the same, I would think every single day about what I could have done differently to make you stay." He felt completely ill at the idea of his life without his princess, and what it would be like to see two dates on a headstone beneath her name. It was horrifying that she was so close to never returning to his arms.

She sobbed, leaning back against the wall. "I just feel like there's no way to fix this, Cato, I feel so miserable and I don't think anybody realizes how hard it is." She looked up at him, sniffling. "It's like I'm drowning, I feel like I might already be dead even though I'm conscious. I feel like I'm dead."

He cupped her cheeks, pressing his forehead to hers. "Baby, there are ways to fix it," he said quietly, kissing her wet cheeks again and again. "You can go back to therapy, or go on medication, or do whatever you need to feel better, but you absolutely have to let people help you. It won't happen unless you accept help."

She sniffled, figuring that if a person could completely run out of fuel it had happened to her and left her barely crying and fully exhausted. "I don't know," she whispered, her eyes pleading as she looked into his. "Cato, I don't know how to describe it but I just don't know if I want help."

He sighed, nodding slightly as he watched the confliction on his darling's face. "You don't have to think about it, okay? You don't have to think about it anymore today." He knew what it was like to have a tired mind, and that it made everything seem too heavy to deal with. His little one needed mental and emotional rest.

"Let's go upstairs," she said quietly, wiping her face once his hands were back at his sides. "I want to lay down with you, I want you to hold me." She took deep breaths as he took her hand, feeling as though she were the floating wisp of a ghost as she listened to him explain to the group occupying the living room that they were going to talk upstairs for a while. She still felt far from him; talking to him had made her realize how far into this inverted wonderland she'd really ended up. She lifted her arms as he pulled her top off over her head, wondering if ghosts could really be seen by the living. Maybe there could be a compromise. Maybe she could haunt Cato and he could still love the ghost of his girl.

He watched her carefully as she wiggled out of her yoga pants, noticing a vacancy in her eyes that made him shiver. "Kitten," he murmured, helping her under the covers before getting into the guest bed beside her. "Just remember that I love you, okay? I'll never leave again. I'll never mess up again." He pulled her close, somehow surprised by how warm she felt. She seemed so cold, not in the mean or hostile way but in a rather sad way instead. It was like someone had dipped his broken-winged bird in water and tossed her in the freezer, then plucked her out and sprinkled snow on her already cracked heart.

"I love you, too," she whispered, running her finger up and down his arm. She stayed silent except for her breathing, her reddened eyes fluttering shut as his fingertips blazed a familiar path up and down her spine. She allowed herself to become lost in his touch, turning down the volume of her swirling thoughts by fitting her lips to his. She swore she felt him trace 'I love you' on her back as his lips responded to hers, but it could have just been an echo of his words in her mind.

Her kisses felt like poetry to him this time; initially they'd been tentative, then frenzied, then comfortable and passionate, but this time was different. He knew she was trying to convey something without words. Perhaps her love for him, perhaps how alone she felt even though he was right in front of her, perhaps all of the reasons she felt the way she did. He moved his hand to the side of her neck, running his thumb across her jaw as he tried to answer the question of her kiss.

She parted her lips, pressing herself closer to him. "If I was really a ghost I'd pass through you," she whispered, kissing him again. It felt like her whole world was moving in half time, and when he rolled her onto her back she couldn't help but wonder how she didn't float up to the ceiling or sink down into the floor.

He looked down at her, kneeling on either side of her legs and tracing the faint outline of her ribs. "I won't let you pass through, baby girl," he whispered, kissing both of her cheeks. "I'll keep you right here, I promise."

She looked up at him, her eyes still more empty than bright. "All you can do is try." She shut her eyes as his lips connected with hers again, wrapping her arms around his neck. Somehow she knew that he would never stop trying, and that was enough to make her hope that trying was enough to keep her from drifting away completely. "Right now," she mumbled as his lips burned their way down her neck.

"What right now, angel?" he asked quietly, his breath against her skin.

"You have to show me that you won't let me go, that you really do love me," she said quietly, leaving her eyes closed.

He studied her face carefully, unsettled by the obvious urgency of her words. "Clover, it's not time for that right now," he murmured, furrowing his brows.

"Yes, it is. I need to know that you love me, and that you won't leave," she said, her tone only described by desperation and her words slow. "I need to know how much you care."

"Kitten, I'm telling you-"

"Don't tell me," she pleaded, arching her back to reach behind herself and unhook her bra. "Please, just show me, you have to."

He hesitated, but nodded slowly as he helped her discard the garment covering her chest. "I love you," he whispered, kissing the corner of her mouth before removing his shirt. "I will never, ever leave." He didn't stop his angel's hands as she worked at unbuttoning his jeans and carefully pulling down the zipper, his eyes fixed on her face.

She chewed her lip, nodding slightly. In the time it took him to stand up from the bed and finish undressing completely, she shimmied her panties down her legs and shut her eyes again. "Tell me I'm important to you," she mumbled as she heard him lock the door. "Tell me I matter."

It devastated him to see her like this, and to realize that she really couldn't tell how much she did matter and how important she truly was to him. "Clover," he mumbled, kneeling on the bed before her and peeling open the foil packet he'd pulled from his wallet. "You are more important to me than anybody in the world."

She bit her lip, letting out a breath as he maneuvered her legs to either side of him and lifted her hips off of the bed. "Do I matter?" she asked softly, blood coursing through her veins at too hot of a temperature.

"You matter so much," he whispered, chewing the inside of his cheek as he gazed down at her. "You matter to me, you're all mine, you're important, and I'm never letting you go again." He reveled in the delicate, broken moan that she produced when he entered her; it was so painfully sad that she needed this, his enjoyment of her body, to feel reassured of his love.

Her mouth dropped open as he began a slow movement of his hips, her legs tensing and wrapping around his back. "Tell me again, that you love me," she whimpered, resting her hands on his biceps.

"I love you, I love you," he managed through groans, clenching his jaw as her nails dug into his skin. He looked down at her as she turned her head to one side, holding her tighter and using his hands to pull her closer to him each time his hips moved forward again.

She moaned faintly, having no desire to fight his hold as he moved her back and forth on the mattress. Her breathing picked up as she tightened her legs around him and one of his hands moved to toy with her bundle of nerves, and she shifted slightly in an effort to create more friction.

He sped up slightly, both with his hand and his hips, tilting his head back and closing his eyes as her moans turned to frequent high pitched mewls. "I love you," he whispered, pausing for a moment to readjust and sit with her on his lap. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, kissing the point of her pulse as she gripped his shoulders.

She rocked her hips on top of him, biting back a sound of pleasure as his teeth sunk into her skin. She could tell he was nearing his release as she felt his hips jerk upwards involuntarily, and she quickened her movements noticeably.

"Clover," he mumbled into her neck, his fingers working fast at bringing her close to the edge with him.

"Mm, please, Cato," she breathed, her movements frantic and frenzied. "Please, please..." She gasped as her release overtook her, surprised by the intensity.

He saw stars behind his eyes as she tightened around him, a long exclamation of her name passing his lips as he rubbed her faster still and held her securely in place to tremble in the small aftershocks of her climax.

She writhed on his lap, quivering at his touch. "I love you," she whispered, her voice shaking. "Oh, God, I love you. Never leave me." She was in a haze as he lifted her carefully from his lap, her legs liquid as he re-dressed her and tucked her into bed.

"I love you, too," he said, pulling his shirt back on. "Do you believe me, Clove?"

She nodded, curling up in the duvet. "Yes, I do. I believe that you love me." She had believed him before, it wasn't as if she was completely untrusting. There was just something about the physical aspect of what they'd done that made her feel more convinced, even if it was just until the bliss wore off.


End file.
